


tangled hearts

by junyeonbug



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, M/M, Red String of Fate, Some Swearing, Some fighting, a lot of drinking, everyone are assholes tbh, implied yuta/jungwoo, it just gets angstier, past yuta/jaehyun, side sicheng/taeil, something like the irregular office, with a touch of humour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-16
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-08-24 11:39:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 50,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16639331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junyeonbug/pseuds/junyeonbug
Summary: After his ability to become an observer in the world of soulmates begins to surface, Yuta's blinded by his disappointments and vows himself not to become the stereotypical soulmate. But when things start to head in the unplanned direction, Yuta's forced to make life-changing decisions, heartbreaking sacrifices and bizarre friendships before he finds himself all alone in the world of tangled hearts.





	1. 线

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first attempt at a chaptered fic after a long time so,, i hope this turns out well
> 
> all the chapter titles are in chinese, and they are all related to the chapter + the chapter summary, so for those of you who don't understand chinese, copying and pasting the characters into google translate will help you understand better (since one chinese character sometimes has multiple meanings) :D

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   **线(xiàn)** : invisible things were made invisible for a reason.

Soulmates sound like a pretty fun idea. For all who believe; it plants a seed of hope, that regardless of time and tide, someone is, or will be, out there for you. The mere concept of soulmates fuels one's drive towards a seemingly unending chase of finding your other half, and, for all that it's worth, an inkling of faith that you'll find the one to complete you.

Of course, that's just the sugar-coated version of reality.

The more you think about it, the more terrifying it gets. What if the person you end up loving for your whole life wasn't your soulmate? What if you didn't actually have a soulmate? What if the universe simply _didn't_ want to assign you a soulmate? One may never know the truth.

So there's the red string of fate. The thin coil of fabric that knots around your left pinky, the other end bound to your soulmate's left pinky. Symbolised as a continuation of an artery that flows from your heart to your pinky, it connects two people's hearts together, making them bonded as one. The only catch is that it's invisible.

However, there's an exception. There are people with an extremely rare condition that alters the photo receptors in their retina, making the entire network of red strings visible to them. They are exposed to the cruel reality of the secret world of soulmates, making them aware of the predictable heartbreaks everybody around them will inevitably suffer from.

To say that people who can see the strings might be incredibly lucky or painfully unfortunate- it can only be decided by the beholder themselves.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The incessant rapping of knuckles on Yuta's front door startled him as he shot out of bed, the sudden rush of blood to his legs making black dots cloud his vision as he stumbled ungracefully to the door and unlocked it.

A blob of orange greeted him, and Yuta blinked the haze out of his eyes a couple of times to be met with an expression that was scarily similar to an angry bunny.

" _Finally_ ," Doyoung rolled his eyes, pushing his way past a half-asleep Yuta and into his messy apartment. "Why do I even still bother to come up here every single day to make sure you get up on time and have something in your stomach before you pass out during work? If you even make it on time?" Doyoung's incoherent nagging faded into mumbles as he poked his head into Yuta's fridge to scavenge for any scraps of edible food for their breakfast.

"Thanks," Yuta stifled a yawn as he sat on the kitchen table, watching Doyoung fish out a strange-looking, foul-smelling, probably rotten chunk of meat from the depths of his fridge and toss it into the garbage chute. "Where's Taeyong?"

"Still downstairs," Doyoung grumbled. "He insisted on spending at least fifteen minutes gelling his hair up into this- I don't- I don't even _know_ what he's trying to accomplish," he sighed and slammed the fridge shut, turning around to start chopping the vegetables he placed on the table beside Yuta.

"What for anyway? It's not like he has anybody to impress, well, besides you that is," Yuta stated boredly, leaning back and putting his weight on his arms, effectively invading Doyoung's work space and 'accidentally' knocking a bunch of onions and tomatoes to the ground.

"That's not-" Doyoung tightened his jaw and his hand stopped in midair, unfortunately, the hand with the knife in it. "Get off the table and go change into proper clothes or something! Stop giving me a headache," his knuckles tightened against the knife and Yuta hopped off the table in genuine fear.

"This is my house, you can't order me around," Yuta stuck out his tongue at Doyoung, not missing the blush that had crept up Doyoung's cheeks before sprinting out of the kitchen to take refuge his bathroom in the very likely case that Doyoung might be hot on his heels with the knife in his hand.

Yuta put his thoughts about Doyoung ignoring his blatant liking towards Taeyong at the back of his head as he looked at himself in the mirror. Or more specifically, at the faded end of his red string pacing about back and forth, its movements reflected clearly on the mirror. His string was definitely moving way more than it ever did before, making Yuta's mind wander to all sorts of places.

Yuta was very much aware of his special ability to see the strings, and even more aware that he was in the extreme minority of the world's population that had the condition. He had been informed as a kid that being able to see the strings was exceptionally lucky- you'd be able to track down your soulmate by using the string like a compass, and you'd be sure that that person was truly the one you were meant to be with.

He believed all of this, of course, who wouldn't? As he grew older, with more and more hours of spending the whole day with his eyes glued to the computer screen due to his job, Yuta was pleasantly surprised when he woke up one day and the red string tied to his left pinky in a cute bow became visible, as if gaining the ability to see the strings was a little present to his boring life.

'Pleasantly surprised' would be an understatement. Yuta sprang out of bed- overjoyed, thrilled, that he'd be able to find his other half that he had been fated with. He left his apartment in high hopes, got out as far as the busy streets on a typical weekday morning, took a closer look at everybody around him, and his excited grin gradually turned upside down.

Surrounding him were the familiar faces of people he saw everyday- the old lady at the pastry shop who always gave him a free croissant everytime he visited, the elderly man who walked his two chihuahuas at exactly eight in the morning, his colleagues Doyoung and Taeyong who lived in the apartment a floor below him. Such happy, bright people who never failed to put a smile on Yuta's face every morning.

But that day, Yuta realised as he focused on their pinkys instead of their cheerful smiles, he'd never be able to see them in the same light from then on.

The lady at the bread store- she had three different strings tied to the same pinky, all three stretching out into different distances. But the thing was, the last time Yuta had checked, she was close to seventy and was still single.

The man with the dogs- he didn't even have a single string tied to his pinky. Yet he was happily married to a wonderful wife and living with his two dogs, having the time of his life. Yuta wondered if the thought that his wife wasn't actually his soulmate crossed his mind, and his chest stung a little.

Doyoung and Taeyong- they might not have announced their relationship yet, but everyone saw that they obviously liked each other and nothing in the world was ever going to change that. The catch? The strings on their pinkys continued in opposite directions, fading into thin air after a few inches, never once connecting the two of them together.

Yuta's gaze had returned back to his own pinky. Suddenly, the once-important, over-hyped red string seemed terribly insignificant and redundant.

He thought about all the little children out there, getting told stories about soulmates, how great they were, how important they seemed to be. He thought about all the little hearts that would be broken, all the hope that would be extinguished once they found out the brutal truth: that the joys of having a soulmate were all fabricated, that the idea was just created out of the greed and selfishness of the human mind.

From that moment onwards, everything tumbled downhill. Yuta walked along the streets, silently examining everyone's red strings, foreseeing the heartbreak that they were going to experience at some point of their life. He didn't see excitement, hope, anticipation and love anymore, all he saw was pain, lies, dread and hate. Because of this, he kept his secret ability to himself, not letting anyone in on his findings, afraid that he'd pass on his negativity and pessimism on a perceived joyful topic.

Doyoung's voice through the thin wood of his bathroom door startled him out of his thoughts. Yuta realised that while his mind was running on its own, his string had crawled off to the other direction.

"Yuta? You've been in there for kinda long, is everything alright?" Doyoung's concerned voice floated into the bathroom and Yuta hummed in response. "Alright, just wanted to let you know that breakfast is ready."

Yuta took one final glance at his string, before he briskly changed into his work outfit and returned back to the kitchen. Taeyong was already there with his proudly styled hair, trailing closely behind Doyoung and attempting to stick his face a little too closely to Doyoung's. As Doyoung was setting the cutlery, Taeyong not-so-subtly planted a kiss on his neck, startling Doyoung and causing the forks to fall on the plates with a loud clatter.

Yuta pretended not to witness the scene, but the corners of his lips curved up into a suppressed smile when Doyoung looked like he was going to stab Taeyong's eyeball with a fork, but softened immediately when Taeyong flashed him a cute grin and pecked his lips for good measure.

"Are you two really flirting with each other? Right in front of my salad?" Yuta sighed disappointingly and Doyoung didn't waste a single second in shoving Taeyong away from him, the latter chuckling heartily as he sat down on the seat opposite of Yuta.

"If you can't already tell, I made scrambled eggs, not salad, Mr. Nakamoto," Doyoung scowled but Yuta just smirked knowingly as he chewed on the eggs. "I- I mean, we're not flirting? I'm not flirting with him? He's not- I- ugh," he gave up and stuffed his bunny cheeks with food to save him from the embarrassment of Yuta and Taeyong's snickering.

"Anyway, Mr. Zhang said that there's going to be a new intern in our department today," Taeyong commented in the middle of their meal. "I wonder how they're going to be like. Yuta, please don't order them around and scare them off like the last time."

"I didn't order them around!" Yuta protested with a mouth full of eggs. In his defense, that intern had spilled coffee all over his keyboard, sending Yuta into a terribly pissy mood the entire day, getting annoyed at them for the smallest of things. He wasn't particularly proud of himself when he never saw that intern again.

They promptly cleared the table once it was almost time for them to leave, Yuta dumping the dishes in his sink, claiming that he'd wash it later ("Yuta, I found yesterday's dishes still in the sink this morning, guess who had to wash them?"). They set off for their office that was only a ten-minute walk from their apartment, Doyoung and Taeyong walking ahead of Yuta.

Being in a place with throngs of people in the vicinity undeniably gave Yuta a splitting headache. The hundreds of short red strings seemed to tangle themselves into one big red ball of yarn, making it hard to concentrate on anything else either than his one and only nightmare.

His eyes unknowingly flitted to Doyoung and Taeyong's pinkys. He'd seen their strings almost too many times by now, how they never seemed to be going in the same direction, how they never seemed to consider that their owner was deeply in love with someone that was not their soulmate.

A frightening thought flashed across Yuta's mind: _What if Taeyong and Doyoung really weren't meant for each other?_ He quickly shook it away, seeing how Taeyong tried endlessly to enclose Doyoung's hand in his, getting multiple punches on the arm in the process, but Doyoung always gave in in the end and he'd even let Taeyong press a soft kiss to his cheek and swing their hands back and forth as they walked.

Yes, Yuta was right. The red strings meant nothing- the person you were connected to physically didn't define who you would end up loving in the end.

They entered their office building shortly after that, not before Doyoung yanked his hand out of Taeyong's, causing the latter to pout and whine in which Doyoung pretended not to hear. Yuta rolled his eyes and was a breath away from butting into their conversation when the abrupt change in direction of his red string stunned him into silence.

He stood there in the elevator with his colleagues, stupefied at the sudden occurence. Yuta definitely had not been seeing things- the red string was shuffling about towards his west and without any warning, swiftly zoomed a hundred and eighty degrees to the right. It was now swaying slightly, still in the general direction of his east, when it suddenly took another sharp turn, now pointing towards his south.

Yuta couldn't pry his eyes off his string, his mind currently drowning in a whirlpool of thoughts. The only reason why it could be behaving so strangely now was that Yuta was getting closer and closer to his soulmate, the distance between them shortening, making their movements more and more distinct.

And the idea that he was getting nearer to his soulmate frightened the hell out of him.

"Yuta? Are you okay?" Doyoung, the ever observant one, placed a hand on his shoulder, causing Yuta to look up at his wide eyes. "Why do you look so scared?"

"It's nothing," Yuta laughed it off, his red string still in his peripheral vision, jerking about more than he ever noticed it to. "I just envisioned the new intern spilling coffee all over my keyboard again. I don't want that nightmare to repeat itself."

"I'm pretty sure it won't happen again, unless the intern really happens to hate you," Taeyong commented just as they reached the seventeenth floor. Yuta shrugged and Doyoung seemed to have bought it as he exited the elevator without any further questioning.

Yuta calmed his nerves as he reluctantly shuffled up to his workspace, casting millisecond glances at his pinky every few seconds. By the time they were at Doyoung and Taeyong's workspace and Yuta waved them off, he noticed that the faded end of his string was slowly coming into view. Gulping down the lump of nervousness stuck in his throat, he advanced closer to his workspace, cursing mentally as more and more of his string made itself visible.

Yuta dumped his briefcase on his desk after what seemed like the longest and most dreadful trek to his workspace. In his oblivion to his surroundings, he didn't realise the usually empty desk beside his was occupied by someone else. Only after Yuta had looked up from the ground, then did he register the unfamiliar, new presence hovering in front of him.

The new intern had short black hair that puffed up into the shape of a mushroom, and he wore a babyish grin on his round little face that highlighted his protruding cheekbones. The ends of his fringe was damp with sweat, a result from being ordered around to complete tasks on his first day of work. His large, round eyes darted around nervously before he cleared his throat and composed himself.

But Yuta didn't notice any of that.

Because his red string pointed directly north, went on for about a feet or so, and ended abruptly at the guy's left pinky, the guy standing right in front of him, connecting both of their pinkys, their hearts, into one.

"Hello, I'm Sicheng, and I'm a new intern here. It's nice to meet you."

_And the guy was his soulmate._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter was a little short since it's like an introduction!! the next chapters will be longer hehe :3 tell me what yall think in the comments ^^


	2. 爱

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **爱(ài)** : if only love was something we could control.

Yuta's eyes cautiously flickered up to properly look at the guy- no, the new intern- no, his soulmate. Sicheng's confidence had dissipated at Yuta's hesitance in returning the greeting. His gaze switched to the floor, lips pursed into a thin line, hands awkwardly scrunched up into balls that rested behind his back.

_Pretty._

Yuta was jerked back into reality at the single word that flashed across his mind upon scanning his face. _Did he just think Sicheng was pretty?!_

By now, Sicheng's shoulders had shrunk into his neck and his feet were shifting around nervously. Yuta mentally slapped himself for unintentionally making the new intern so uncomfortable at their first meeting, so he stuck out a hand, saying, "I'm Yuta. It's nice to meet you too."

Sicheng's restlessness halted and his expression brightened, before enthusiastically accepting Yuta's hand and shaking it.

"How is it so far? Everyone giving you a lot of work to do?" Yuta smiled gently in hopes of lifting the mood. Sicheng returned the grin and delightfully shook his head, "it's fine! I like it here so far, everyone's been pretty nice to me since I've arrived."

Yuta directed his smile at his feet this time, feeling somewhat bashful about this entire situation in general. "Doesn't seem so. You've been running around completing errands, haven't you?"

"Oh. How did you know?"

By the time Sicheng's question registered into Yuta's mind, he realised his mistake already a beat too late. How was he going to tell Sicheng that he saw the red string on his pinky speed from west to east just a couple of minutes ago, without revealing that Sicheng was his soulmate and that he could see the strings? That would be impossible.

"Oh, I- uh... can see that you've been sweating," Yuta gestured to his damp fringe, giving himself a mental pat on the back at how well he pulled that off. Sicheng smiled shyly at the observation, raising his hands to dab at his forehead self-consciously. Yuta's eyes followed Sicheng's hands, visible gulping at the thought of the end of his very own string was tied to the pinky of the guy right in front of him.

Yuta cleared his throat and forced a smile at Sicheng,"t-take a rest for now, today's going to be a long day," he chuckled nervously before swiftly turning around, plonking heavily on his chair and burying his face in his briefcase to briefly contemplate what the hell was going on.

What were the odds of the department's new intern being his soulmate? What were the odds of his soulmate occupying the desk next to him, when there were numerous empty desks around the office? What were the odds of his soulmate having such an innocent and pretty features that- wait, did he just think that Sicheng looked pretty again?!!

"Also, Yuta," Sicheng's chirpy voice resounded, and Yuta's head emerged from his briefcase to see his little head tilted to the side, sticking out of the partition, his eyes gleaming with excitement and lips stretched out into a wide smile. "If there's anything you'd like me to do, feel free to ask me for help, I'm right here!'

With that, he retracted his head, and Yuta was left there staring into empty space like an idiot, an unreadable expression of horror, confusion and surprise etched onto his face. He looked down at his pinky- the red string extended directly east, disappearing into the partition, and Yuta was once again struck with the realisation that he did, in fact, just meet his soulmate.

Sicheng was going to be the death of him.

 

 

* * *

 

 

  
A looming presence that hovered above his workspace's front partition startled Yuta out of his trance. Taeyong stood there with his arms folded on the partition and an expression that obviously didn't look too delightful was carved into his features.

"Did Sicheng spill coffee on your keyboard?" He asked flatly, the scowl on his lips making itself more prominent.

"Wh-what? No, he didn't," Yuta scoffed, removing his elbows off the desk and showing off his still very functional keyboard to Taeyong to prove that he was right. "See, my nightmare didn't come true."

"Then why do you keep ordering him around?" Taeyong retaliated, looking more and more displeased by the second.

"I haven't- Okay, maybe I have," Yuta reclined back into his chair, slapping a palm on his forehead, heaving a stressful sigh. "What's up with me and new interns?"

"Ask yourself," Taeyong sneered, removing himself from the partition and sauntering up to Yuta's side to slap his arm. "Be light on him. You wouldn't want him to make a bad impression of you, right?" He lazily lifted a corner of his lips as a pathetic excuse for a smile, and strolled back to his workspace.

Yuta shut his eyes, letting out another sigh, this time filled with more frustration and confusion. It had started off with asking for a simple cup of coffee from the coffee machine they kept in the lounge. Sicheng practically skipped off in happiness while leaving trails of flowers and rainbows behind him, sending Yuta's mind into an absolute frenzy. He detested the fact that he kept thinking the guy looked cute, adorable, beautiful, pretty- anything along the lines of what Yuta least expected to think about if he got to meet his soulmate.

The coffee that Sicheng made was way too sweet for his liking, and instead of sulking when Yuta told him to _'fix it or I won't drink it'_ , he bobbed his head up and down excitedly and pranced back to the lounge where he brewed another cup without a single scowl or a word of complaint. And for some reason, all of this irritated Yuta even further, spiting him to order Sicheng around even more. He had switched from mentally slapping to physically slapping himself whenever the word _'cute'_ popped up into his mind, directed at the intern, so much that his fellow co-workers shot him rather amusing looks.

"I printed the documents you wanted, Yuta!" Sicheng bounced over to his workspace, clutching the file of papers to his chest, his breath coming out in short, little puffs. "Sorry I took a little longer this time, I had to help Johnny with some of his admin work as well, I hope I didn't keep you waiting long!"

Yuta's gaze traveled up from Sicheng's pale, smooth hands, to his crooked tie and creased collar, to the beads of sweat that were collecting at the bridge of his nose and the tips of his eyebrows. Sicheng continued looking at him in anticipation, like a little puppy waiting to be pet and praised for doing a good job. Yuta's blood boiled at the last thought, and he snatched away the papers from Sicheng who didn't faze the slightest bit.

"Is there anything else you'd like me to do, Yuta?" He inquired, and Yuta could almost picture a tail wagging behind him and his floppy ears twitching in excitement. He closed his eyes for a few seconds, squeezing them tight before opening them again to erase that vision out of his head. Thankfully, Sicheng went back to just looking like Sicheng.

"It's fine," Yuta stood up and gazed into the intern's eyes, unable to understand how the little sparkles still manage to shine brightly despite getting horribly treated by Yuta. He quickly tore his eyes off Sicheng in embarrassment, his hands busy readjusting Sicheng's tie and collar.

Sicheng stood rooted to the ground, paralysed with surprise as Yuta finished tidying him up and squeezed his shoulder. Yuta sat back down on his chair and dismissed the intern, his heart pounding at an insane speed, afraid that he had made the tension between them too awkward.

"Take a break, Sicheng, you're working too hard," Yuta continued, his eyes not leaving the screen of his computer even though Sicheng's gaze on him had never left. The latter opened his mouth to protest but his name was abruptly called from a distance, making his ears perk up and his legs carried him to the direction of the voice.

Yuta reluctantly pried his eyes from the screen to see Sicheng standing beside Taeyong's desk, his eyes curved up into two little crescents as Taeyong pushed the cup of instant coffee that he had made into his hands, Sicheng bowing profusely at the kind act in which Taeyong waved off with a smile.

A little growl escaped Yuta's throat as Sicheng skipped back towards his direction, looking as if he just won a million dollars. His boiling blood was coursing through his veins, making his entire body feel hot with anger, irritation, or perhaps jealousy- Yuta didn't even want to know.

He balled his hands up into fists, concealing the red string from his view, and tried to ignore the rapid thumping of his heart.

 

 

* * *

 

  
Yuta wondered how much sweets and coffee did Sicheng down to make him this hyperactive all day. The sun was already steadily sinking into the horizon but Sicheng was still buzzing around the office like a bothersome bee. It was incredibly hard to concentrate with his red string flying all over the place, obstructing his view, making Yuta's head pound as intensely as his heart.

"Yuta," A low voice made Yuta's eyes wearily snap up at the presence in front of him. "We're going out for a drink to celebrate Sicheng's arrival. Doyoung's asking if you want to come."

A sharp pain shot through Yuta's temple, making him wince and turn his head away from Johnny's direction. "I'm really tired today, I'm going straight home after this, no thanks."

"Yuta says he's coming!" Johnny called over his shoulder, and an 'ok' sign popped up from the general direction of Doyoung's workspace.

"I didn't-" Yuta started but quickly gave up as the non-existent protest died in his throat.

"Oh come on, when was the last time all of us went out for a drink? Let's just have fun tonight, Yuta," Johnny chuckled at his reaction.

That's how Yuta found himself sitting alone at the bar table that was facing the street, the ruckus of the group of grown ass man bickering and shoving each other around distantly behind him. Yuta kept his eyes fixed on the few cars that sped past, trying to block out Sicheng's giggles that somehow kept drifting into his ears. His red string was all creased and folded at the knot from Yuta's unending attempts at trying to get it out of his view, but to no avail.

"You're unusually quiet today," Doyoung slinked up beside him, no trace of alcohol in his breath, as usual. "Something's definitely wrong."

"I'm fine, Doyoung," Yuta weakly offered, but nothing about his appearance or the way he said it made the contradicting words more believable.

"Did you hear me? I said something's definitely wrong," Doyoung tsked, frowning at the way Yuta's body slumped further at his words.

"Is it the new intern?"

Doyoung had always managed to read his body language right, no matter how hard he tried to conceal it. Yuta's silence was all the confirmation Doyoung needed, proving he was right.

"It's just his first day of work. He's probably really excited about everything, being in a new environment, meeting new people... He'll calm down after a while, Yuta, don't worry about it," Doyoung reassured but Yuta shook his head curtly.

"It's not that," he replied, and Doyoung waited for him to continue. "I don't know. Maybe it is. I just feel so irritated seeing him run all over the place, but I also find him kind of... cute? So I get irritated. Does it make sense? Why am I finding him cute when he's so annoying?"

Doyoung hummed in understanding, "it's fine to think someone's cute. In fact, I think everyone finds him cute. I mean," he turned around in his chair and Yuta followed suit. He couldn't tell if his colleagues were cooing over Sicheng and pinching his cheeks because they were drunk, or because Sicheng seemed to be enjoying every second of the attention he was getting.

"No, you don't get it," Yuta sighed frustratingly as he turned back around. "I _can't_ find him cute. I'm not _supposed_ to. I don't believe in love at first sight. Especially because he's my so- my desk partner," Yuta coughed to cover up his slip-up and thankfully, Doyoung didn't elaborate on that.

"Yuta... It's fine," Doyoung's comforting words seemed to enter in one ear and flow out of the other. There was a moment of tense silence before Doyoung spoke up again, "you're scared, aren't you? That you might be falling in love again?"

Yuta froze, Doyoung's reminder striking a nerve in him, causing him to break out into cold sweat.

"N-no, it's nothing to do with J-Jaehyun," Yuta stuttered, subconsciously fiddling with his fingers at the mention of him.

"Okay, I'm sorry," Doyoung apologised, a hand reaching over to separate Yuta's restless hands. "It's still early, you might be confused about your feelings. Let's see how this goes. I'll be here to listen to you, alright?" He squeezed his hands encouragingly. "Come on, let's get Taeyong and go home. I think he's wasted himself enough."

Doyoung hopped off the bar stool beside him and and advanced back into the pub, leaving Yuta still lost in a maze of his confusing thoughts.

 

 

* * *

 

 

  
Well, Doyoung was wrong.

It had been a week since Sicheng first started working at the office, and not once did his enthusiasm at completing errands falter. Much to Yuta's disappointment, while Sicheng's over-excitedness drove him crazy, it seemed to give him an excellent reputation as all the other employees loved him to bits. Yuta had given up ordering him around, instead choosing to blatantly ignore his deskmate that always hovered around him more than for his own liking.

"Good morning, Yuta! I hope you have a nice day today," Sicheng rose from his seat and gave him a slight bow, his iconic permanent grin still etched on his face. Yuta reluctantly lifted the corners of his lips as a response and the intern's grin fell the slightest bit.

"You look a little tired today? Did you sleep well last night? Is something the matter?" Sicheng continued as Yuta sat on his chair and started up his computer. "I'll go get something for you to drink!"

Before he could stop him, Sicheng was already flying to the lounge, humming a happy tune as Yuta stared at him in disbelief.

Does he ever get tired? Do his cheekbones not hurt from smiling all day? Do his feet not hurt from prancing around the office from morning to evening? Yuta winced a little, for once he felt somewhat worried for the guy instead of his usual irritation. It was Sicheng who was the good guy- Yuta was just a big, selfish, oversensitive bitch.

The sight of Sicheng standing right before him all of a sudden stopped Yuta from entering another moment of self-destruction. He was holding a cup of coffee in one hand and a packet of digestive biscuits in the other, accompanied by his warm, spirit-lifting smile.

"Doyoung told me you didn't have breakfast today," he offered the food and drink to Yuta, who wordlessly accepted it and placed it on his desk. "That's not good. You should always have breakfast! No wonder you look so lethargic."

Sicheng was about to retreat to his desk when Yuta reached out a hand to hold his wrist back, startling the intern. He cautiously turned his head around, eyes big and wide in confusion and anticipation.

"Why are you so nice to me?"

Sicheng blinked once, twice, then his reassuring grin came back.

"Why can't I be nice to you?"

Yuta huffed, gesturing for Sicheng to take a seat on his chair, "I asked you a question, don't reply me with a question. I'm not saying that you can't be nice to me, I just want to know why."

Sicheng hummed, simply stating, "because I'm happy to be here? The people here are nice and the errands are fun. I'm excited to finally be able to work here, that's all."

"You're not answering my question," Yuta looked down at their hands which were resting on their thighs, the red string connecting them was barely a few inches long. Now only did Yuta noticed that the knots on their pinkys were identical- two loosely tied bows. "I can see that you're being nice. I can tell that you're happy. But why are you still so nice to me when I've treated you like shit?"

Sicheng seemed to not understand his question as he silently blinked at Yuta for a few moments. Finally, he replied, "you're not treating me badly. I expected a lot worse before I came here. I can tell that you're a great person, Yuta. You get along with everyone so well!" He giggled a little, the sound of it making Yuta's heart melt against its will.

"So that's why I'm nice to you, because I know you're a nice person! Also, maybe because you're my deskmate, and deskmates are supposed to look after each other, like Doyoung and Taeyong," he looked over to them as soon as he said that. Doyoung was currently blushing so heavily that his orange hair almost blended in with his face and Taeyong stood beside him silently shaking with laughter. Yuta didn't have to guess to already know what happened.

His attention fluttered back to Sicheng, who was now mindlessly playing with his fingernails. Would him and Sicheng end up being like Doyoung and Taeyong, flirting openly with each other, holding hands as they walked along the streets and sneaking kisses on each other's cheeks?

His thoughts couldn't help but to drift to Jaehyun- he who flirted with Yuta, who held his hand, who kissed his cheeks, who-

"Yuta, your coffee is getting cold," Sicheng whispered warily, as if he was afraid that he was interrupting some inner conflict going on in Yuta's head (he was).

Yuta nodded and hesitantly sipped his coffee, touched to find it exactly how he liked it: one sugar with extra milk. How did Sicheng manage to remember his coffee preferences while being caught up with all the tasks assigned to him? A wave of guilt washed over Yuta, and suddenly he felt like a piece of crap for taking advantage of this kind-hearted soul. Sicheng had done so much for Yuta, while he didn't do anything for him in return.

So when an idea popped into his head, he didn't waste any time in looking back up at the intern with a slight but genuine grin tugging on his lips.

"Do you want to go out for dinner today? My treat."

This time, Sicheng's grin all but irritated Yuta, instead filling him with a sense of unspoken accomplishment.

 

 

* * *

 

 

  
"Sicheng, can I ask you something?"

Two empty bottles of soju were perched on the table beside the grill, and Sicheng was already evidently wasted. He tried suppressing his excited smile, making his two little cheekbones protrude and his lips drawn into a little pucker. He nodded so feverishly that Yuta was afraid that his neck might just snap off.

"How are you always so full of energy?" He genuinely inquired, concentrating on grilling the meat in front of them to avoid looking at Sicheng's terribly adorable expression.

"I don't know," he shrugged helpfully, "the thought of making people smile by doing things for them just fuels me with the energy, I guess."

Yuta allowed his smile to occupy his lips as he placed a slice of cooked meat on Sicheng's plate. The guy was too innocent, too pure and thoughtful for this world.

"I can't really relate to you, but I understand," Yuta looked up from the grill and locked gazes with Sicheng. In that moment, time seemed to slow to a halt as Yuta counted the individual sparkles in Sicheng's wide eyes, mesmerized by the way their glow never seemed to fade. The words clinging onto the back of his throat jumped out of his mouth without warning, catching both Sicheng and Yuta himself by surprise.

"You're cute."

Sicheng leaned back into his seat, his shoulders pressed up against the hard wood and he appeared to melt into it. His petite hands had curled up into little balls that rested on his thighs and a deep red slowly crept up his face and stained his cheeks. His head dipped down in attempt to conceal his embarrassment, but Yuta had already witnessed it all and emitted a loud laugh.

"Don't you get called cute a lot though? I'm sure the guys at the office think it's the most fitting adjective to describe you," Yuta teased, his gaze unable to be pried from Sicheng as if he was under some spell.

"Yeah, I... I do," Sicheng admitted bashfully, bringing his hands up to press against his cheeks, willing them to cool down. "But it... kinda feels different when you say it."

Yuta's ears perked up at Sicheng's barely audible mutter, "hmm? Why? Do you like it better if I call you cute instead?"

Sicheng's eyes were already watering from Yuta's excessive teasing, the beads of tears brimming on his eyelids further highlighting the sparkles that appeared to gleam brighter. He removed his hands from his cheeks to fan at his eyes, and Yuta couldn't help thinking that he wouldn't mind seeing Sicheng in current state for the rest of his life.

"Okay, okay, I'll stop poking fun at you," Yuta was dismayed to find out that while he had been distracted, the meat on the grill had burnt into an undefinable black mess. "But really, you're cute."

"Sorry, I keep blushing, I don't know why," Sicheng squeaked out after taking a deep breath. "Maybe because this is the first time anyone has treated me or taken me out for dinner? And I'm just really... excited? I don't kn-"

"No one has ever taken you out for dinner before?" Yuta interrupted incredulously and Sicheng responded with a slight nod. "Man, I guess that's my cue to start taking you out for meals more often, how about that?"

For the umpteenth time that evening, Sicheng's face flushed red again, but he didn't try to hide it this time, instead returning the soft and loving glances that Yuta had been shooting at him throughout the course of their meal.

"Thank you Yuta. I'd love that."

 

 

* * *

 

  
It was only after Yuta had reached his apartment, took a quick shower and settled down for bed did the alcohol wear off and made him actually think about the actions he had committed over dinner with Sicheng.

He had been in bliss before that, replaying the part where Sicheng practically melted into a pool of goo after Yuta had not-so-accidentally called him cute over and over again. The image of Sicheng's shy actions and blushes just for him made a fuzzy feeling grow in his heart and Yuta was almost sure that it would settle in the depths of his mind and never be erased. He found himself longing to reduce Sicheng into that tipsy, vulnerable state once more just so that he could tease him endlessly.

When Yuta decided to retire for the day and flopped down on his bed, that's when the realisation set in.

_He's falling for Sicheng._

Yuta shot out of his bed almost lightning quick, the colour draining from his face as he tried to deny the sudden thought that invaded his mind. It started pushing away all the good feelings and memories Yuta created that day, cackling evilly as they got shrouded in pitch-black darkness and morphing into destructive thoughts that started haunting him.

_He's falling for Sicheng. He's falling for Sicheng. He's falling for Sicheng._

How did Yuta let this happen? All he could vaguely recall was having a good time with the intern, but the more he tried to remember, the more he registered that all he had done was to get sucked into the black hole of Sicheng's captivating charms, unable to escape no matter how much he convinced himself.

Sicheng was his bloody _soulmate_. Under normal circumstances, getting attracted to him would seem perfectly fine and encouraged, even, but to Yuta, all of this was plain bullshit. Liking Sicheng would just classify him under the stereotype of soulmates- feeling a sense of connection to them, love at first sight- with the cruel reality that Yuta had been exposed to, he didn't mind anything but to fall under the category of a stereotypical soulmate case. Yuta wasn't going to make the same mistake and let himself believe all of those fake rumours yet again.

That was why him falling for Sicheng was completely out of the question. And now that it was actually happening, Yuta came to the realisation that it was too late to change anything.

Hands fumbling for his phone on his bedside table, his fingers trembled as he shakily scrolled through his contacts and clicked on Taeyong's one, bringing the phone up to his ear. The phone rang twice before Taeyong's sleepy voice could be heard from the phone speaker.

_"Yuta?"_

"Taeyong, you're awake," Yuta winced at how unsteady his voice sounded. "It's late, shouldn't you be asleep?"

A huff echoed from the speaker.  _"Yuta, get to the point."_

"R-right, uh..." he pondered for a moment, thinking of how to phrase his question. "How did you realise that you liked Doyoung?"

A pause. _"What?"_

"I'll explain this another day, Taeyong, please, just answer me for now, I'm really tired," Yuta pleaded, and he didn't have to see Taeyong's face to know that his brows were furrowed in worry.

_"Okay, well... I guess I realised it when I found myself smiling a lot more when I was around him. Like, we didn't really have to do anything, sometimes we'd be just walking side by side, or silently eating a meal, but I just felt like my heart was going to burst. And you know how I love teasing him, right? I just loved seeing his reaction and his blushes, and that gave me the desire to keep doing it again and again because I found him so cute. So yeah, after I went through that entire thought process I concluded that I liked him."_

Yuta silently listened to Taeyong's words, letting it sink into his mind. As he kept on going, Taeyong was sounding increasingly similar to Yuta making his face pucker up more and more by the second. He really was falling for Sicheng, no second doubts now.

_"Yuta? Are you in the middle of some relationship crisis?"_

"I'm not going to elaborate on that at the moment," Yuta vaguely replied. "But anyway, thank you, Taeyong. Your words kinda helped."

_"Uh, you're welcome?"_

"Yeah. Go to sleep soon. See you tomorrow, goodbye."

With that, Yuta tapped the 'disconnect' button and tossed his phone somewhere on his bed. The buzz of thoughts in his mind had calmed down by now, though he was still struggling to keep up with the fact that he was actually starting to like Sicheng. He'd either have to completely get rid of or submerge himself into these feelings, but both ways, he knew it was going to cause him extreme pain.

He lay back down on the bed, his heavy eyelids shutting involuntarily. A vibration against his thigh startled him and his hand reached to fish his phone from the covers and place it back on the bedside table. He was about to dismiss the texts, thinking that it might be Taeyong, Doyoung, or any one of his colleagues, but an unknown number showed up on the messenger.

Tentatively clicking on the notification, it only took a second for Yuta to process the information, and his heart plummeted from his chest, straight to the floor.

 

 **From:** Unknown

_hey, yuta?_

_this is jaehyun_

_it's been a while, we haven't talked for a long time, haven't we?_

_i'd like to meet up with you again :)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> protect sicheng at all costs


	3. 命

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **命(mìng)** : it's not everyday that you meet a guy with a creepy smile who tells you the helplessness of civilization.

Yuta stormed into the office, his shiny black shoes emitting loud thumps on the carpeted floor. His briefcase was tightly clutched in his right hand, the skin over his knuckles stretched so thinly that they turned white. His jaw was clenched just as tightly, and Yuta was positive that his whole head looked so red it might put a tomato to shame.

He marched right past his and Sicheng's workspace, the latter following Yuta's flaming figure with his wide, wary eyes. He'd never seen Yuta in that state before, and the sight of Yuta whizzing past him with figurative steam shooting out of his ears frightened him to bits.

Yuta halted in front of Johnny's desk, or more specifically, right in front of Johnny himself, staring down the guy who nonchalantly returned the glare with boredom, and perhaps, expectation.

"You and I, we have to talk," Yuta's words were sharp daggers, but they easily bounced off Johnny protective shield as he got up and walked off with Yuta hot on his heels, without protesting.

Johnny entered the lounge and dropped down on the sofa, folded his arms, and impatiently waited for Yuta to begin.

"Why did you give Jaehyun my number?" Yuta spat out, looming over his colleague, his fists resting on his sides, ready to attack if Johnny pulled any fast ones on him.

"Woah woah, aren't we assuming things here?" Johnny raised his palms towards Yuta, a deceivingly accused look on his face.

"Don't try to act all innocent, Johnny, there's no one who would give Jaehyun my number except for you." A growl escaped Yuta's throat, and Johnny pretended to be terrified for a moment before his expression suddenly darkened into a rather dangerous one.

"Why can't I give Jaehyun your number?" Johnny shot back, not fazing the slightest bit at Yuta's anger that was increasing by the second. Yuta stared at him in disbelief, before scoffing loudly, rolling his eyes.

"Why can't _you_ give Jaehyun _my_ number? Did you just ask me that? Do you even know what happened between the two of us? Do you not understand that he's my past and I don't want to be involved with him anymore?"

"Why are you being so dramatic?" Johnny's face fell, his impatience growing more and more evident. "He dumped you, didn't he? Shouldn't you be glad that he wants to see you again?"

" _I_ don't want to see _him_ again!" Yuta erupted, the anger blasting out of him like an active volcano. "Don't act as if you know the whole story! I have my reasons, and it's none of your business to interfere with them!"

"You're just making excuses now, aren't you? Trying to make me feel as if I'm the one in the wrong, when I'm just helping to restore your relationship with Jaehyun?" Johnny rose from the couch, his height giving him an advantage to stare Yuta down. "What are your reasons, huh? How is it so important that you don't want to see Jaehyun anymore when it wasn't even your fault that he broke it off with you?"

Yuta's next words were caught in his throat after Johnny's sentence sunk in and his mouth hung open in shock. His anger instantaneously dissipated, making him feel like he just shrunk a million sizes under Johnny's intimidating presence that seemed to finally take its effect.

"I... no, he... I can't..." Yuta stuttered incoherently, and he winced in defeat as Johnny lifted an eyebrow at his sudden mood change.

"You can't tell me because there aren't any reasons, right? You're just a coward, Yuta, man up," Johnny rolled back his shoulders, the left corner of his lip curled up in pride that he had won the argument. Yuta bit his lip painfully hard, fighting back tears of spite.

"Jaehyun told me to pass the message since he didn't get any reply from you," Johnny flatly continued. "Next Monday evening, right after work, at Drippin' cafe. You'd better be there."

Johnny swiftly turned around and sauntered out of the lounge, ignoring Yuta's exasperated face and the tears that were threatening to spill from his eyes. His fists had relaxed and his limp hands were trembling ever so slightly, making his red string vibrate like a plucked guitar string.

Yuta dropped his head towards the ground, his neck straining under its heavy weight. He kept his eyes on his string, sighing in annoyance when he heard the distant patter of feet grow closer and the faded end of his string coming into view.

His eyes snapped up, connecting gazes with Sicheng who was hurriedly rushing towards him. Upon meeting Yuta's eyes, he halted in his tracks, paralysed with fear at how petrifying he appeared to be.

"Not now, Sicheng," he quietly breathed out. Watching Sicheng timidly turn around in rejection sent needles flying to his heart, pricking him with guilt that he had upsetted the intern.

Yuta slumped down on the couch, burying his face in his hands. No one could understand him. No one would know the full story of what really happened between him and Jaehyun.

It might have been Yuta's fault, but how could he tell Johnny that without revealing his selfish desires and his life's biggest secret?

 

 

* * *

 

 

The next few days went by terribly for Yuta.

Firstly, he might have accidentally scared Sicheng off, as the guy stopped fluttering around him and instead busied himself with errands from other colleagues. Yuta had to bear the pain of seeing him smile and joke around with them, and he longed for himself to be the reason behind that smile instead.

Secondly, Johnny was still being a total bastard. Every single morning he would stride up to Yuta's workspace, rest his folded arms on the front partition and remind him of the details about meeting Jaehyun with a cocky smile on his face, as if Yuta got a new pair of ears everyday and would forget if he wasn't constantly reminded.

Thirdly, Sicheng's efforts and endearing personality paid off and he officially upgraded from an intern to finally joining their department. That was joyful news, but when he heard that they were going to throw an office party for him, he quickly backed out before a certain unnamed bastard could force his invitation again.

"Yuta? You're not staying for the party?" Doyoung asked when he saw Yuta hurriedly shove his belongings in his briefcase. He was planning on sneaking out without letting anyone know, but apparently Doyoung was always a beat quicker than him.

"No. I'm tired, I'm going home," Yuta let out a sigh full of emotion and massaged his temples to make it more convincing. The first part was the truth, but he wasn't planning on going home just yet.

"Alone? You don't look too good," Doyoung sighed, casting a glance at Yuta's expression that looked like death itself. "That's it, I'm walking you home."

"Doyoung, I'm fine, don't worry about me," Yuta pleaded, returning Doyoung's look. The latter frowned deeply, not buying any of his words.

"Besides, you have to take care of Taeyong when he's drunk, right? You're gonna let him walk home alone?" Yuta smirked, chuckling when Doyoung's face flushed a shade of crimson and a scowl appeared on his face.

"Fine. But only because I trust that you won't collapse in the middle of the road. After I get Taeyong home, I'm going to check on you," he grumbled and lightly pat his back. "I'm going to make sure Taeyong hasn't already wasted himself. Go home safely, I'll see you."

Doyoung walked out of the office and into the lounge, where everybody was already digging into the wide array of food and watching some football match on the projector. Yuta was left alone in the semi-dark office, so he grabbed his things, turned off the lights and slipped out into the cool evening.

Instead of taking a left to go back to the apartment blocks, he swerved to the right, where most of the restaurants were situated. To his dismay, despite it being a Thursday night, most of the pubs were packed to the brim, making Yuta feel claustrophobic when he walked in to make his order. He ended up at the two-seater bar table facing the street, surprisingly empty, and slowly sipped his glass of beer.

Yuta's mind was swirling with thoughts about Jaehyun, Sicheng and himself, making his head spin like the wheels of the cars zipping ahead of him. His mind subconsciously drifted to Sicheng first, wondering how much fun he was having with all the guys showering him with affection.

That thought sparked a flame in Yuta's chest, reminding him of how adorable and giggly Sicheng got whenever he was drunk. He could almost picture his colleagues reducing Sicheng to that state by simply calling him cute or praising him, and the flame burned stronger and brighter.

But he recalled something Sicheng said to him, something that Yuta had failed to process in that heated moment, something that probably had a deeper meaning behind it that Yuta had been oblivious to.

_'"But it... kinda feels different when you say it."'_

Was Sicheng too drunk to realise what he had said to Yuta, or did he really mean it when Yuta calling him cute made him feel different than his colleagues doing the same thing? Was Sicheng flirting with him? Was Sicheng giving him false hope, saying that to make Yuta think that he was different, or even, special?

"Is anyone sitting here?"

Yuta flinched violently at the unfamiliar voice beside him. He whipped his head towards the sound, catching sight of a man, perhaps his age, with a hairstyle similar to Sicheng's, but faded silver instead of black. Yuta shook his head, grabbing his briefcase from the stool beside him and placing it on the floor. The man climbed onto the stool and sat there in silence, mirroring Yuta's actions.

Even though the man beside him was just sitting there, doing nothing else but taking occasional sips from his glass, Yuta felt like his private thoughts were being invaded. He tried to resume his analysis of Sicheng's sentence but the man's steady breathing kept getting in the way of his thought process.

Abandoning the topic about Sicheng, he switched over to Jaehyun. What was Yuta going to say to him when he met him next week? Would Jaehyun still look the same as he did two years ago? Would he be able to look at Jaehyun's face and Jaehyun's string without letting the overwhelming guilt consume his sanity?

Yuta's gaze dropped to his hands which were resting on the table, restlessly drawing shapes with the condensation from his beer glass. He looked at the pretty bow tied on his pinky, before his gaze shifted to the right to secretly glance the stranger's left pinky. His string paled in comparison to Yuta's- a simple double knot tied at the base, looking much more simplistic and plain than Yuta's bow.

A burning question suddenly rose in his throat, and Yuta fought the urge to talk to the stranger he met a few minutes ago and look like an idiot. But something about the man and the way he seemed to be doing the exact same thing as Yuta, playing with the condensation, assured Yuta that he wouldn't come off as weird to him.

"Hey, c-can I ask you something?" Yuta squeaked out, his throat tight from the awkwardness. The guy turned towards him with a serene smile on his face, waiting for Yuta to continue.

"Do you believe in coincidence or fate?"

The guy turned away and resumed his gazing at the night scenery in front of them, as if Yuta's question was just a breeze blowing in his ears. Yuta was going to shrivel up with embarrassment as thought he had just been ignored when the guy spoke up.

"Fate, of course."

Yuta raised his eyebrows at him, the creases on his forehead becoming visible. "What do you mean, _'of course'_? Care to elaborate?" He continued.

The guy's calming smile appeared to be plastered on his face as he replied to Yuta's question with absolutely no variation in the tone of his voice, "is this an interrogation? I believe we have just encountered each other for the first time five minutes ago."

Yuta tsked in a failed attempt to try to hide his irritation. "Okay then, I'm sorry I asked, I'll go back to being quiet n-"

"I believe that when all humans were born into the world, the universe has already set a path for them to walk on," the guy interrupted and Yuta's neck snapped to look back at him again. "Whatever choices we make aren't actually our choices, it's what the universe chose for us, and we're compelled to it. All the ups and downs, joys and heartbreaks, successes and failures- the one who set our fate for us saw them coming. And they still made us go through it. Helpless, aren't we?"

Yuta blinked incredulously at him. He was expecting some half-assed answer, but it looked like the guy took him a little more seriously than he wanted him to.

"W-wow, okay..." He mentally winced at how the guy's expression didn't change at all even as he said that. "Are you some philosopher or something? That was pretty deep for a sudden question."

The guy dipped his head down for a moment, letting out a short breath of air that Yuta presumed was a laugh. "I just happened to be thinking about it when you asked."

" _'Just happened'_? You just said a minute ago that you didn't believe in coincidence," Yuta's face puckered. This man was getting on his nerves.

"I did. I do believe that there's a reason for that, but I'm just not sure of it yet," he continued and Yuta fought the urge to roll his eyes at the response.

"Since you already told me your perception of the happenings in life, why not let's introduce ourselves? I have an ominous feeling that this meeting won't be our last," Yuta offered, and the man continued staring into space helpfully. "I'm Yuta, and I'm currently in the middle of a relationship crisis."

He waited for the guy's introduction, and when he was met with silence, he was about to leave the place in frustration when his reply made Yuta jump.

"I'm Jungwoo, and I also think there was a reason that we ended up sitting here today and talking about life, but I haven't exactly found it yet."

"Then I hope you find it soon," Yuta said in a mocking tone as he downed the rest of his beer and hopped off the stool. "I have to get home now, it was... interesting meeting you, Jungwoo."

Yuta grabbed his briefcase and began his walk back home. He had this uncomfortable feeling of someone watching him, but when he flicked his head around, Jungwoo was still staring into space with that flat smile on his face.

Yuta turned back around, instinctively lowering his head, his steps growing quicker.

That was one hell of a weird guy.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Yuta picked up his coffee mug and finished the last few drops of his third cup that day, his bleary eyes not leaving the computer screen. It was Yuta's worst week all right- Mr. Zhang had assigned him the main role in one of their upcoming projects, dumping most of the responsibility and workload on him, leaving him stuck at the office even though it was a Friday night and he wanted nothing but to go home and crash the whole weekend.

Most of his colleagues had already left, including Doyoung and Taeyong, who tried persuading him to clock off early and take a rest, but Yuta stubbornly shook his head and told them to head off first.

A warm hand on his arm made Yuta flinch back in surprise, but the pretty bow on its pinky and the short red string connecting them elicited an exhausted sigh from him. He raised his head to be met with Sicheng's worried eyes.

"Yuta, it's late, why haven't you gone home yet?" He asked timidly and Yuta was struck with the realisation that it was the first time Sicheng had spoke to him in many days.

"I could say the same for you, Sicheng," Yuta reluctantly spun from his computer screen to face Sicheng, who had sat on his chair and rolled it right beside Yuta's.

"I... I was worried for you. I didn't want you to be here alone," he glanced around at the office, shrouded in darkness except for the single fluorescent light gleaming above them. "And I wanted to talk to you. I missed you."

Yuta felt his heart do a somersault and leap from his chest to his throat. A twinge of guilt followed the fluttery feeling- it was his fault that Sicheng had been too afraid to speak to him all this while.

"I'm sorry. I was just really angry with Johnny that day, I didn't mean to frighten you," Yuta offered a weak smile, and that seemed to work as Sicheng's bashful grin found its way back on his face.

"It's fine. I could tell you were having a rough week, and I didn't want to make you more stressed," Sicheng fiddled with his fingers, a blush creeping up his cheeks. "Though... why didn't you come for yesterday's party? It was different without you."

Sicheng was doing it again. Making Yuta think that his existence was more important than his other colleagues. Yuta forced himself not to have any high hopes as he crafted his reply.

"I was tired, I'm sorry," Yuta gave his usual excuse. "How was it different without me? I didn't think you would notice my absence at all."

Sicheng stuck out his bottom lip, pouting at Yuta who thought that was unbelievably cute. "Of course I noticed you were gone! It just feels... I don't know how to describe it. Just different."

"Okay, then I'll help you," Yuta assured the confused guy, grinning at how Sicheng's expression brightened instantly. "How did you feel when you were with them?"

He thought for awhile, bringing a hand up to rest his chin on. "Happy? They joked with me, poured me drinks and called me cute. I guess it felt nice."

Yuta willed himself to fight back the pang of jealousy. "Then how do you feel when you're with me?"

Sicheng's doubtful expression vanished and his eyes sparkled again, shining behind the two perfectly-formed crescents. "I feel... special? More loved? I seem to blush more and my heart feels fuzzy. It's a good feeling, of course."

Yuta gulped, his mouth growing dry at the sound of Sicheng's words. He felt his heart speeding up and the palms of his hands growing sweaty. Nervously glancing up at Sicheng, he noticed his soulmate's cheeks getting hotter and his fingernails were digging into the soft pads of his fingers.

Without really thinking about the consequences, Yuta abruptly reached forward and enclosed Sicheng's hands in his. The guy's head shot up and his eyes met with Yuta's, his pupils quivering in panic.

"Do you feel like that now?"

Sicheng's mouth hung open in an attempt to reply, but no words came out. Yuta could see his Adam's apple bobbing up and down as he gulped, and felt Sicheng's hands tightening against Yuta's grasp. He nodded ever so slightly, just a little bob of his head.

"Then I'll show you how you feel."

Without any prior warning or consent, Yuta yanked Sicheng towards him, almost pulling the alarmed guy out of his chair as he slammed their lips together. A high-pitched squeal escaped Sicheng's closed lips as Yuta controlled the kiss, experimentally moving his lips against Sicheng's tight ones.

It seemed like forever before Sicheng relaxed enough, letting Yuta lead the kiss. He removed one of his hands to cup Sicheng's jawline, letting his thumb brush against the cheekbones that he always wanted to touch.

Yuta broke the kiss after Sicheng seemed to tense up again, a signal that he was probably uncomfortable with whatever Yuta was doing. He ran his tongue under his bottom lip, observing Sicheng's reaction.

His heart shattered into a million shards at the sight. Confused tears were brimming at Sicheng's eyes and his hands were trembling from Yuta's iron grip on them. His lips were still slightly parted, red from Yuta's light nibbles on them. His cheeks were still flushed red with a sheen of sweat layering his smooth skin.

"S-Sicheng? Are you-"

Sicheng didn't wait for Yuta to finish his sentence before he grabbed his bag and sped out of the office at lightning speed, slamming the door shut with a loud bang that echoed through the dark, empty office.

Yuta spun his chair around to face his computer, which was currently on screensaver mode, tiny bubbles floating around the screen and popping as they hit the edges. He buried his face in his hands, wondering how much he had fucked up to make a permanently joyful man bolt away in fear like that.

Well, that went fucking perfectly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally jungwoo appears! he'll be a very important character for the rest of the story so anticipate seeing lots of him :D
> 
> simon says tell me what u thought of this chapter in the comments and if u liked it or not :) bless me achooooo


	4. 喜

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   **喜(xǐ):** the world is full of pleasant surprises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not updating in so long.. i was overseas the whole of last week and didn't have the time to write :/ here's a long 4.5k to make up for it

"Did anything happen between you and Sicheng? I barely saw you two talk this week."

Taeyong was lazily sprawled on Yuta's couch while the latter sat at the dining table, his face buried in his laptop, working on the project. Doyoung was out, quote Taeyong, _'meeting a old friend'_ , leaving him alone at home and thus visiting his friend's apartment for company.

Yuta's hands fell from his keyboard and his body sunk further into his chair at the mention of Sicheng. "Remember that night I called you when I was in the middle of a relationship crisis?"

Taeyong's mouth formed an 'o', sitting up on the couch after he had made sense of Yuta's words. "Is that why you're avoiding each other?"

"Well, no, but also yes," Yuta slammed his laptop shut, knowing that he would never get any proper work done when he was having this conversation. "He was avoiding me this week because I got into an argument with Johnny and accidentally scared him off. But I cleared it up with him yesterday... and also did something stupid."

"Oh my God Yuta, what did you do," Taeyong peered over at his friend with concern. "Please don't tell me you kissed him."

The way Yuta hesitantly lifted his head to meet Taeyong's gaze, gulping down the lump of nervousness while remaining speechless spoke for itself. Taeyong collapsed back on the couch with a loud _'thump'_ , placing both hands on his forehead.

"You kissed him," he quietly exhaled, "well, fuck, it didn't go well, did it?"

"No," Yuta muttered, his head dropping back down in shame. "He looked so scared after I did it. And he bolted the fuck out of there like ten seconds later."

Taeyong shut his eyes, the hands on his forehead slowly massaging his temples. "Congratulations. You just scarred the brightest, happiest, purest, most innocent guy I've ever known for life."

"Thank you," he nestled his head in his folded arms, his next words coming out muffled. "What am I gonna do?"

"You'll have to talk to him, of course," Taeyong said like it was the most obvious and easiest thing in the world. "Apologise, make it up to him by treating him to a meal or something, and leave it up to him if he wants to go back to being friends with you."

"Easier said than done, idiot," Yuta grumbled, "he might not even want to be in a ten-metre radius from me after what I did."

"Come on, it's Sicheng. And it's you. I think it's a known fact that he prefers you to the rest of us. It won't be that difficult, really."

Yuta's head emerged from his arms at Taeyong's words, peeking at him with only his eyes visible. "It's a known fact that he prefers me to the rest of you?" He wondered out loud.

"Uh, yeah? You can tell from his eyes that they sparkle much more when he's looking at you. Are you telling me you've been oblivious to this? What shell are you living under, Yuta?" Taeyong met his gaze and cocked an eyebrow at him.

Yuta looked away sheepishly, replaying Taeyong's words over and over in his head. So Sicheng wasn't trying to make him feel special by saying that- it was Yuta who was blind to his differences when he was with him.

"Anyway, I'm- uh... meeting Jaehyun on Monday," Yuta changed the subject in attempt to lighten the mood, but Taeyong sprung off the couch and stared at Yuta with wide eyes and and a dropped jaw.

"You _what?!_ Yuta, what is going on with you now, are you in your right mind?" Taeyong spluttered, exasperatedly glaring at Yuta.

"For the record, it was Johnny's fault. That's why I ended up arguing with him," Yuta looked away, a wave of nausea rushing over him, making him wince slightly. "I guess I can't blame him... he has a point. Jaehyun and I need to sort things out."

"Yuta, there's nothing to sort out! Didn't he break it off with you? Why is he suddenly coming out of nowhere and asking to meet you?" Taeyong's tone turned into one of worry and he padded over to the dining table, taking a seat on the chair opposite of Yuta. He paused, then gently placed a hand on Yuta's arm, "are you really going to go?"

Yuta continued staring at his feet, nodding at Taeyong's question. "I don't know what he wants, but I'll settle it and make sure he doesn't come back again. I don't want to see him either," he confessed silently.

"Alright. If anything happens, just give Doyoung or me a call, okay? I hope everything'll go well," Taeyong gently squeezed his arm and playfully slapped it a few moments later, breaking the mood.

"Want to come over to mine to watch a movie? You can choose whatever you like," Taeyong abruptly stood up, the sound of the chair scraping against the wooden floor making Yuta's ears bleed. "I wanna make Doyoung jealous so that I have an excuse to cuddle with him later. Imagine his face when he walks in and sees me on the couch- with you!"

Yuta watched as Taeyong guffawed, throwing his head back while stepping out of the apartment. A smile naturally found its way onto his face, pushing the worries about Sicheng and Jaehyun into a corner of his mind.

He might have a thousand concerns in his mind- but his friends always knew how to make him forget every single one of them.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

"Drippin' cafe, Yuta, don't forg-"

"I fucking get it, I'm going," Yuta took a pause from packing his stuff to shamelessly glare at Johnny in the eye. The guy chuckled, slapping the partition before striding away to find someone else to bother.

"He thinks I'm fucking deaf," Yuta commented a little too loudly, intentionally, and he could tell that Johnny was scoffing even with his back faced towards him.

From his peripheral vision, Yuta could barely see Sicheng raise his head an inch to warily glance at him. He turned his head to catch the guy staring at him, but Sicheng's head fell back down, pretending to be focused on his work.

Yuta frustratingly ran a hand through his magenta-coloured hair. He was right when talking to Taeyong- Sicheng never once stepped near him for the entirety of the day. Yuta knew it was his fault that Sicheng wouldn't approach him first, but his mind was too occupied about meeting Jaehyun later in the day that he never once considered speaking to Sicheng.

Slinging his briefcase around his shoulder, he bid Taeyong and Doyoung goodbye before making the torturous trek to Drippin' cafe. _What exactly did Jaehyun want from him to request a meeting out of the blue?_ Yuta knew he definitely didn't want to just catch up- it was Jaehyun, and Jaehyun never did things without a definite purpose.

He was too caught up in his thoughts that he didn't realise that he was holding his breath until his feet carried him to the table Jaehyun was sitting at. He had chosen a spot outside, the yellow light from the shop and the nearby streetlamps casting a dim glow on their surroundings. On the table sat two cups of coffee, and on the chair facing Yuta, a guy with swept-up brown hair and a welcoming grin on his round face.

"Hey," he started simply, after he had hopped off his chair to pull out Yuta's chair for him and motioned him to sit down.

"Hey," Yuta mirrored, consciously shrinking into his tall form, conveying the message that he was obviously uncomfortable and _talk faster so we can get over and done with this please._

"I ordered coffee for you the way you like it. One sugar and extra milk, right?"

Yuta switched his gaze from his knees to the cup of coffee in front of him, his heart stinging at the fact that Jaehyun remembered his coffee order despite falling out of contact two years ago. He picked the cup up and sipped from it, running his tongue over his lips to clean off the cream.

"Can you get to the point?" Yuta tried to say in the most polite and unoffending way possible, but the sharpness of his tone revealed that he was annoyed and impatient.

"Right. Of course," Jaehyun sat up straight, placing his hands on the table and locking his fingers together.

That's when Yuta realised.

The end of Jaehyun's string was frayed, the individual fibers spreading out like a broken wire. It was as if someone had forcefully yanked his string, causing it to snap like that, cutting off all possible connections to his soulmate. The string hung limply on his finger like a redundant accessory, exhausted from losing the fight of tug of war with whoever was on the other side.

Yuta's coffee cup froze in midair as his gaze pierced the short, hideous-looking red line. _It wasn't that bad when he last saw him, what on earth could've happen for it to have snapped like that?_

"Yuta, are you listening?" Jaehyun's question startled him back into reality. Yuta's eyes snapped up, coming face to face with the guy who had inched closer to Yuta's.

"I said, Johnny told me that you aren't currently in any romantic relationship, so... I was hoping... if it's fine with you... we could start over again?"

Jaehyun's words kicked all the thought of his frayed string out of his mind and his face fell with such disgust that Jaehyun cautiously leaned back against his chair again.

_He would like to what?!_

"Why must Johnny tell you everything? Do you think he dictates my life?" Yuta seethed, his knuckles tightening against the handle of the cup, setting it down as gingerly as he could with his hands shaking with anger. "From my number to my relationship status, you asked him for all of these so that you could get back with me?!"

Yuta didn't care if he was making a scene or that the customers around the neighbouring tables were staring at him, his only focus was Jaehyun's panicked expression that was telling him to calm down, but Yuta was going to do anything but that.

"You break off with me two years ago, leave me crippled in my apartment, drowning in my own guilt, not bothering to check if I was alive or not, then two years later you pester my colleague for the details on my life and request to get back together with me?! Jaehyun, what are you made of? Selfishness?" Yuta exploded. He could feel the blood rushing to his head and wondered if it was a good thing if his head could just explode into fragments like a pricked balloon.

Jaehyun was on his feet now, muttering apologies to the customers around them while attempting to grab hold of Yuta's arms to hold him down. Yuta shook his hands off and Jaehyun just managed to dodge Yuta's fist that was flying in the direction of his nose.

"Okay, Yuta, I'm sorry, please," Jaehyun sighed in agony, nursing the side of his jaw that Yuta had managed to hit spot-on. "I should have thought a little further before I asked you that question, I'm so sorry."

Yuta sat back on his chair and folded his arms, his blood still simmering right underneath his skin. His teeth were still gritted together and he was busy cracking the knuckles on the hand that squarely striked Jaehyun's jaw.

"Can I just ask you one more question? Just one more, I promise, and I'll leave you alone. Don't hit me again, okay?" Jaehyun held out one finger, a sincerely apologetic look carved on his face. Yuta huffed as a sign for Jaehyun to proceed.

"Is it because... you have someone else in mind?"

Yuta's gaze flickered up to Jaehyun's eyes, his laser-like stare boring non-existent holes into Jaehyun's face. He saw the guy flinch minutely, eyelids fluttering in anticipation. Yuta was about to reply with the obvious answer when a certain image popped up into his mind.

The friendly guy occupying the desk beside his, delivering Yuta's daily cup of coffee with a little note attached to the handle every morning. The giggly guy whose cheeks never failed to turn red with the combination of alcohol and teasing.

The same guy who stared at him in disbelief with swollen lips, tearful eyes and trembling hands, distancing as far away as he could from Yuta, even if their mutual red string couldn't possibly cut off their connection to each other.

Yuta fought back the bile rising in his throat and gave Jaehyun a single, curt nod before he grabbed his briefcase and whizzed down the street, not once looking back or responding to Jaehyun's distant calls for him.

He turned at a corner, resting his hands on his knees as he caught his breath. His sudden vigorous sprinting did nothing to help the nauseating churning of his stomach, so he squatted down with his back against the wall to regulate his thumping heartbeat and his shallow breaths.

He contemplated taking his time to walk back to his apartment, but he ran the risk of running into Doyoung and Taeyong who were probably heading home at that time, and Yuta wouldn't want them to see him in this state and ask him a million questions about how things went with Jaehyun. Instead, he made his way to the row of restaurants, coincidentally spotting a familiar figure seated in the same place where Yuta last saw him.

Placing his own glass of beer on the table with a loud _'clack'_ as a greeting, Yuta hopped onto the bar stool beside Jungwoo in silence. He took a long sip from his glass, his stomach groaning in rejection, waiting for Jungwoo to break the silence this time.

After around five minutes of them doing nothing but admiring the night scenery, sipping their beer and drawing shapes with the condensation, Jungwoo finally spoke up.

"I found the reason."

Yuta didn't bother looking up, knowing that Jungwoo would still have that flat smile on his face. "What reason," Yuta asked monotonously, sounding more like a statement than a question.

"The reason why we ended up meeting here a few days ago," Jungwoo replied, his soothing voice sounding a little more excited than it normally did. "And why we somehow started talking about coincidence and fate."

"What's the reason?" Yuta forced himself to sound interested just to humour the guy beside him. Jungwoo did one of those weird airy laugh things again, taking a few moments to reply Yuta.

"You can see the red strings, can't you?"

Yuta's neck audibly cracked as he turned around sharply to glare at Jungwoo, his pupils frantically searching Jungwoo's to find any hint of what he was talking about. But all Yuta saw was a pane of glass and his own exasperated expression staring back at him.

Jungwoo looked away, his grin growing proudly. "I thought so," he left it at that, taking a gulp from his glass as a kind of reward.

"Hey, y-you can't just leave it like that!" Yuta nudged his arm with his elbow. "How the heck did you find out?"

Jungwoo ignored Yuta's anxious questions and proceeded to pointedly look at Yuta's left pinky. "Your bow's really pretty. Much nicer than my double knot," he gently tugged at Yuta's string for good measure.

"Yeah, I know th-" Yuta started but stopped in mid-sentence, slapping a hand over his mouth at what Jungwoo had just implied. "Oh my god, you- you can see the strings too?!"

Jungwoo smirked, his emotionless grin growing increasingly cocky and teasing. Yuta's mouth was wide open and he didn't bother to close it as he alternated his gaze from Jungwoo, to Jungwoo's pinky, to his own pinky.

"H-how??" Yuta's mind was buzzing with unanswered questions and thoughts that it was too overwhelming to process all of them. Jungwoo's uninterested reaction was undeniably pissing him off and he ached to know what he was thinking about, but that guy was almost as expressive as a rock.

Jungwoo turned back to him, blinking at him in a sassy way. "Don't act as if you're the only one in the god damned world who has the ability to see the strings."

"I'm not! I'm just... surprised," Yuta defended, filling his mouth with beer to conceal his embarrassment. He quickly swallowed it before continuing, "you're the first person I met who can also see the strings, and... coincidentally also the only person who knows that I can see the strings. So... you just jumped a whole lot of levels here."

Jungwoo hummed, drumming the table with his fingernails. "Am I supposed to feel honoured that I landed a significant placing in your life? Also, be careful of that word 'coincidence', remember that I'm on the opposite spectrum of your stand."

Yuta rolled his eyes, flicking Jungwoo's fingers off the table to silence the annoying sound. He observed Jungwoo's string without shame now that they were both aware of each other's special ability.

"Your string's moving around awfully a lot," Yuta commented, catching a glimpse of Jungwoo's string rustling about in the general northwest direction. Jungwoo's smile seemed to widen, and that was about all of the reaction Yuta could get out of him.

"I could say the same for yours," Jungwoo answered even though his gaze didn't move from the empty street in front of them. Jungwoo seemed to be lost in his thoughts, mindlessly winding and unwinding his string around his index finger.

"You know your soulmate, don't you?" Yuta tried experimentally, and Jungwoo laughed again.

"You're getting better at reading me," his praise sounded more like a tease. "Yes, I know him. He's my college friend. I liked him ever since the first time I saw him, but haven't found the time to properly confess my feelings."

Yuta nodded, holding back a cringe. Jungwoo sounded like those typical _'I met my soulmate and it was like love at first sight!'_ people. But Yuta couldn't say anything because he came to the disgusting realisation that that was exactly him with Sicheng. His mind started to wander- _is it an instinctive thing to instantly fall in love with your soulmate the moment you saw them?_

No, that didn't make sense. Sicheng didn't like him romantically, that's why he ran away after Yuta kissed him. And Jaehyun had once told him that he liked Yuta the moment his eyes fell on him, but Jaehyun wasn't his soulmate.

Yuta's point still stood. Soulmates were unrealistic and redundant.

"I'm pretty sure you know your soulmate as well," Jungwoo caught him in the middle of his thoughts, as if Yuta's head was a glass ball and Jungwoo could see right through it. Yuta halted, his words trapped in his throat.

"Can I trust you enough to let you in on my relationship crisis, or are you going to expose me to the whole world once I leave your sight?"

Jungwoo's gaze snapped towards him, a flicker of what Yuta presumed to be irritation in his eyes. "Can you trust me?"

Before Yuta had a chance to reply, he continued, "do you have a choice? It's not everyday you meet someone with the same special ability as you who's also willing to listen."

That shut Yuta up and he mumbled a soft apology as he pressed his lips into a fine line.

"I'm falling in love with my soulmate," Yuta went straight to the point. "But I'm not supposed to. To me, he's supposed to mean just as much as anyone else, but I can't help it. I think I realised it too late and I can't back out of it, but I also don't want to let myself get controlled by what the universe wants me to do."

"Ah, so you're one of those kind of people," Jungwoo said without any context, making Yuta's face scrunch up in confusion.

"What kind of people?"

"The kind that thinks that being able to see the strings is painfully unfortunate," Jungwoo explained and huffed in annoyance. "Looks like you and me are very different."

"You mean, _you_ think that being able to see the strings is lucky? How? Why would you think that?" Yuta must've sounded more irritated than curious as Jungwoo slammed his glass of beer on the table with such force that some of the cold drink sloshed out of the glass.

"Not everybody has the same pessimistic opinion about soulmates as you, Yuta, get your head out of your fucking ass, will you?" He glowered at Yuta and for once, the flat smile on his face was wiped off and replaced with a frown that read danger. "I suggest that if you're really going to date your soulmate, you'd better start getting rid of that anti-soulmate attitude of yours."

Shooting Yuta one final glare, Jungwoo cursed under his breath once more and got out of his chair, leaving Yuta to sink in his words and think about how he was going to change his attitude to accommodate dating Sicheng.

If only he wasn't given the ability to see the strings, none of this would have happened.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Yuta noticed two things in the office at the end of the next day. One, Johnny was uncharacteristically unbothersome the whole day, not making snarky remarks at Yuta nor bringing up Jaehyun everytime they crossed paths. Two, Sicheng had brought him his coffee at the start of the day and didn't flinch everytime Yuta spoke to him, a complete opposite of the day before.

The moment the clock struck five and everyone was given the permission to go home, Yuta saw Sicheng rising from his chair to stand at his table, nudging Yuta to look at him. His eyes were cast downwards and he bit his lower lip nervously as Yuta turned to give him his attention.

"I have to talk to you."

Yuta let himself be pulled out of the office, his eyes fixated on Sicheng's feather-like grip around his wrist. He felt like an idiot- it was Sicheng who had mustered up enough guts to talk to Yuta first, while the latter simply sat there in his own regret and cowardice like a baby waiting to be spoon-fed.

Sicheng had dragged him to the staircase landing before letting go of his wrist. Yuta observed his actions carefully- his head still hung towards the floor and he was playing with his fingers. The tips of his ears glowed a deep red, causing an error in Yuta's thoughts. This didn't add up, wasn't Sicheng supposed to be mad at him?

"I'm sorry," they eventually murmured at the same time, before exchanging a puzzled look.

"Why are you sorry? You didn't do anything wrong, Sicheng, I acted on impulse without your consent. You don't have to take the blame on everything, you know," Yuta said as quickly as he could without stumbling over his words to save himself from the embarrassment.

"No," Sicheng shook his head feverishly. "I gave you the wrong impression. I didn't mean to just bolt out like that. I... the kiss... it was pretty nice."

Yuta's jaw dropped at Sicheng's confession. Never in his wildest dreams did he imagine Sicheng not getting mad at him, much less telling him that he enjoyed the kiss?!

"You... what? Are you serious?" Yuta spluttered, taking a step closer to Sicheng as if that would change the way he heard Sicheng's words.

"Ahh, this is so embarrassing..." Sicheng brought his hands up to conceal his face but Yuta still caught the sight of his two protruding cheekbones, signifying that he was trying to suppress a grin. "I liked the kiss. And I wouldn't mind if we did it again."

Yuta reached for Sicheng's hands and gently pried them off his face, giving him a clear view of Sicheng's flaming cheeks and bashful smile. He kept Sicheng's hands in his grasp and interlocked their fingers, admiring the way the horizontal red string between them shortened into nothing as their pinkys connected, leaving only the two little bows visible. He let himself get lost in the galaxy of stars in Sicheng's eyes, mesmerised by his natural beauty.

"Can I kiss you?"

All it took was a slight bob of his head for Yuta to lean in and capture Sicheng's lips in a slow but sweet kiss. This time, Sicheng relaxed immediately, melting under Yuta's hot touches and moving his lips in the same rhythm as Yuta's. They kept their hands interlocked even after they pulled away, their eyelids fluttering open and taking in the breathtaking sight of each other.

"I really like you, Sicheng," Yuta's confession was haste, the sacred words hurriedly leaping out of his throat after clinging on for what seemed like ages. "I know that I've only met you a few weeks ago, but something about you made me feel as if I was connected to you, pulling me into your endless pit of charms. I just, really, really like you."

Yuta's head lowered after he had finally confessed his forbidden feelings, preparing for the worst. Sicheng pried his hands off Yuta's desperate clasp and Yuta was suddenly overwhelmed with the fear that Sicheng would just walk away and leave him hanging, until his hand rose to grab his chin and lift it up. Yuta tentatively met Sicheng's gaze and stiffened when he erupted into a fit of giggles.

"You're so cute," Sicheng brushed a bunch of hair out of his eyes and tucked it behind Yuta's ear. "I think... I think I like you too, Yuta."

For the second time, Yuta's lips parted in shock, staring at Sicheng unbelievably, who only seemed to giggle harder at Yuta's reaction. Sicheng cupped Yuta's jaw with both his hands and leaned forward to place a brief peck there, smiling in satisfaction as Yuta seemed to snap out of his daze.

"Does... this mean we're dating now?" Yuta chuckled lightly at Sicheng's innocent question, bringing up a hand to card his fingers through the soft, black strands. He nodded slightly and Sicheng's expression brightened instantaneously, the sparkles in his eyes twinkling like the distant stars that hung in the sky.

Yuta wasted no time in rejoining their lips again, their noses bumping together as he tangled his fingers in Sicheng's hair. Sicheng seemed much more confident now, wrapping his arms around Yuta's waist and pulling him closer. They sunk into each other's embrace in that moment, letting the rest of the world fade out into oblivion.

Yuta's eyelids snapped shut, letting himself get immersed into the intoxicating feeling. The thought of finally overcoming his own fears and worries made his lips curve up into a proud smile. The selfish face of Jaehyun who had let him go popped up into his mind, accompanied by the furious frown on Jungwoo's face, his words of advice distantly ringing at the back of Yuta's head, completely forgotten and ignored.

Nothing mattered now, whether it was Jaehyun's guilt or Jungwoo's disappointment, all that was important to Yuta was that Sicheng, his crush and his soulmate, would finally be his now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooooo yuta and sicheng are dating now... right?


	5. 藏

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **藏(cáng):** it's what we don't know that hurt us the most.

In contrary to Yuta's expectations, none of his colleagues were that surprised when he announced that Sicheng and him were dating. Taeyong did look a little amused at first but his expression quickly changed into one of pure happiness. Doyoung was the one who probably looked the most excited, petting his hair and showering him with words of congratulations. Even Jaehyun texted him a simple _'good luck with your new partner, I hope he'll treat you better than I did. I won't bother you anymore'_.

Nothing changed much between him and Sicheng too, except that they now exchanged secret kisses throughout their day and went out for dinners more frequently, Yuta always taking care of the bill. Sicheng sometimes came over to his place during the weekends or after work to either spend time alone with him or hang out together with Doyoung and Taeyong. The four of them often went on double dates, ignoring the protests of a certain red-faced bunny ("I'm not dating Taeyong!") and at the very least, Yuta could proudly say that he was happy.

But there were sleepless nights when Yuta lay on his bed with Sicheng curled up at his side, his little snores casting vibrations on Yuta's chest, when he starts to think about everything. No matter how much he convinced himself that their relationship was stable because Sicheng was his soulmate and that they were fated to be together, Yuta couldn't help but revert back to his old mindset on soulmates. What if Sicheng ended up like Jaehyun, abruptly ending it off with him one day, leaving Yuta to rot in his own devastation like history repeating itself? What if their red string was a lie, something that Yuta fell gullible to once again, yanking him closer to Sicheng even though they were never meant to be?

He knew he was overthinking it again, but that didn't mean his thoughts were absolutely impossible.

Sicheng could always tell when he was upset, and Yuta didn't know if he was just that obvious or that Sicheng was mighty observant. He smothered the guy with cuddles and kisses if he could, or stuck a post-it with encouraging words and a massive amount of hearts if he couldn't. Yuta often thought that he didn't deserve this volume of love and affection, but Sicheng always managed to prove him wrong.

It was another night when Yuta's destructive thoughts invaded his mind again, and thankfully Sicheng was there right beside him, snuggling into his shirt to make him feel better. Sicheng was playing with Yuta's fingers as Yuta watched him with tired but loving eyes.

"Have you heard about the red string of fate?"

Yuta's heart stopped beating for a moment, his brain processing Sicheng's question a million times before assuring Yuta that Sicheng couldn't see the strings and was therefore unaware of Yuta's extensive knowledge on that topic.

"Hmm, no?" Yuta lied through his teeth, only because he wanted to know Sicheng's innocent and unadulterated mind explaining the whole concept to him.

"It's an invisible string that connects two soulmates together by their pinkys," Sicheng fiddled with Yuta's left pinky to emphasise his point, his fingers going through the red bow as if it was never there. "The string can travel over hundreds and thousands of miles, go through walls and borders without snapping, isn't that so cool?

"Yeah, that's amazing," Yuta prayed he didn't sound either dismissive or uncomfortable as Sicheng continued rambling about everything he heard about soulmates, which were all positive, sugar-coated things of course.

"Imagine if we were soulmates. That would be so cute, wouldn't it?" Sicheng giggled, lining both their left pinkys side by side. Yuta relaxed his bundle of nerves as the red string connecting them grew shorter and shorter until it disappeared, leaving only the two identical red bows left. He took in the satisfying sight- it wasn't everyday that Yuta could place their pinkys beside each other and admire the pretty bows without a specific reason.

He was so absorbed in gazing at their pinkys that he realised Sicheng staring at him only moments later. He giggled, retracting his pinky and resumed playing with Yuta's fingers.

Yuta exhaled, a breath he didn't know he was holding in until Sicheng didn't detect anything out of the ordinary. The words at the back of his throat itched, _'imagine if we were soulmates? We are soulmates, Sicheng, if only you knew'_. But Yuta couldn't expose his ability to Sicheng just yet- he might consider telling him in the future if they were still going strong, but it was still too early for Yuta to make any rash decisions.

Suddenly, a destructive wave of regret smashed into Yuta, making his mind go haywire for a brief moment. He gazed at Sicheng and only saw pain, lies, dread and hate. The thought of keeping such an drastic secret from Sicheng, even though he was the most important person to Yuta at the moment, filled him with disgust and loathe for himself.

Sicheng was oblivious to Yuta's sudden shift in mood, still contentedly huddled up against Yuta's side, lulling himself to sleep. Yuta sighed silently so as to not wake him, a tear of pent-up emotions cascading down his cheek against his will.

His relationship with Sicheng barely began a few weeks ago, but as Yuta closed his eyes, for a brief millisecond, he already caught sight of the end of it.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Ever since he had gotten together with Sicheng, he hadn't found the time or will to go to the bar and run into Jungwoo again. He took out his phone and texted him with the number he got from Jungwoo the last time they met ("Are you sure you don't have an ulterior motive, Yuta?" "I have a god damned crush on my soulmate, fuck you.")

 

**To:** Jungwoozy

_hey it's been a long time_

_got some exciting news for u_

_wanna go out to drink again_

 

Yuta barely exited his chatroom with Jungwoo and turned his screen off when his phone dinged, the screen lighting up again, displaying a reply from Jungwoo.

 

**From:** Jungwoozy

_missed me too much huh ;)_

_i'll be there in 15_

 

"Sicheng, I'm going out to meet a friend. You can go home if you like or invite Doyoung and Taeyong here, Doyoung'll settle dinner for you. I'm sure there's something in the fridge," Yuta nudged the stagnant figure lying on top of him. Sicheng rolled off, a cheeky smile spread out on his cheeks.

"Okay!" He gave Yuta a light peck on the tip of his nose. "Who are you meeting?"

"A friend I met while I was drinking one day. His name's Jungwoo," Yuta grinned sweetly, ruffling Sicheng's hair before getting up and throwing on a jacket.

"Have fun!" Sicheng waved before continuing to roll around on Yuta's bed, snuggling Yuta's blanket and breathing in his scent. "I think I'll go down to their place instead. I still have to beat Taeyong's ass in Fortnite and their place is the only one with two computers."

Yuta chuckled, planting a kiss on the top of Sicheng's head at his cute actions. "Try not to make Doyoung jealous. I'm going now, see you tomorrow."

"Doyoung can't game for shit, it's his problem," Yuta vaguely heard Sicheng scowl as he walked out of his room, holding back a snicker as he left the house and began his silent walk towards their usual meeting spot.

Jungwoo was already there with two drinks in front of him, surprisingly, so Yuta didn't bother going in to get himself a drink and instead walked right up to him and climbed up onto the empty stool.

"What news do you have for me," Jungwoo asked monotonously the moment Yuta's butt touched the chair, going straight to the point. Yuta accepted the drink Jungwoo got for him with a soft, mumbled thanks and took a little sip.

"Right! My soulmate and I are dating," Yuta visibly brightened just by mentioning Sicheng, his lips curving up into a smile as the glass of beer was pressed against his lips. Jungwoo nodded slowly, albeit reluctantly, sending mixed signals to Yuta.

"I know. I could tell," Jungwoo's straightened in his seat, taking a deep breath, inhaling and exhaling loudly. His iconic smile returned on his face after that as though nothing had happened.

"You could tell?" Yuta set his glass down beside Jungwoo's untouched one, suspiciously side-glancing at him. "Are you just trying to act smart or have you been stalking me?"

Jungwoo lowered his head, his silver bangs falling over and covering his eyes, concealing the subtle change in the glint in his eyes. "Haven't you noticed that you've been going out to drink less these days? There could only be something, or someone, who's taking up your time."

Yuta cocked his head a tiny bit to the side, uncomprehending Jungwoo's sudden darkening of mood. "You're right. That's pretty observant of you, considering you're only someone I meet up to drink and talk about life problems with," Yuta tried, silently observing Jungwoo's behaviour.

"Yeah. It was extremely fun drinking alone here these days," Jungwoo's voice was dripping with sarcasm and Yuta fought back a cringe as he realised the root of Jungwoo's strange behaviour.

"Sorry," he muttered, cautiously placing a hand on Jungwoo's arm in an attempt to make him feel better. "Seems like you're the one who's missing me more? You seem very upset that we haven't met up for quite a long time."

Jungwoo glanced at Yuta's hand on his arm before his gaze flickered up to look at Yuta himself, not bothering to remove Yuta's hand although his expression clearly showed that he was uncomfortable. "I actually... uh..." he began hesitantly but stopped in mid-sentence, shaking his head as if he was trying to forget the words he just sprouted out without thinking. "Never mind. You go first, I'm pretty sure you wouldn't ask me to meet up with you just to tell me that you were dating your soulmate."

Yuta raised an amused eyebrow at Jungwoo, who was currently bouncing around impatiently in his seat, looking at Yuta with somewhat a desperate look in his eyes. Yuta nodded slowly, avoiding Jungwoo's gaze. He had read his intentions correctly once again.

"Yeah, there's more to that," Yuta began vaguely, relaxing when Jungwoo seemed to breath a sigh of relief and deflate back into his seat. "I'm confused if I actually like him or not."

Jungwoo nodded curtly, as if he predicted that Yuta would have this crisis and was not surprised at all. "You didn't listen to me, did you? Before confessing to him?"

Yuta remained silent at Jungwoo's question, frantically rummaging through his mind to dig out hidden the words of advice Jungwoo had given him all those weeks back.

_'I suggest that if you're really going to date your soulmate, you'd better start getting rid of that anti-soulmate attitude of yours.'_

"Oh," Yuta elicited a small sound of recollection. "I didn't really, but... I'm trying my best to change my mindset. Just that... it's not going very well."

"I can tell," Jungwoo offered helpfully. "Sometimes you look at him and all the love that you used to feel for him drains out of your body, right? And you feel disgusted at yourself for letting yourself submit to whatever fate the universe assigned you to, right?"

"Wow, that's- yeah..." Yuta gaped at him in awe. "That's exactly how I feel. How are you so good at reading me?"

Jungwoo ignored his question, continuing to analyse Yuta's crisis. "It's kind of inevitable, I guess, since you're someone who thinks soulmates are nothing but lies." He turned to Yuta and tapped his arm to get his attention, Yuta's gaze snapped up to be met with Jungwoo's serene expression that almost filled him with calmness.

"So what wise words of advice do you have for me this time, Mr. Philosopher? I promise I'll try my best to listen to you this time," Yuta offered him a relaxing smile and Jungwoo remained silent, gazing up at the night sky as he thought of a reply to Yuta's question.

"You should focus on your love for your soulmate now, pretend the strings don't exist, and see him as just another person that you've come to love," Jungwoo whispered, his voice as quiet as the leaves rustling in the wind. "Be grateful that you're dating your soulmate, and that you're sure that he likes you back. You have no idea how much I wish to be like you."

Jungwoo's voice cracked slightly towards the end of his sentence and Yuta could vaguely see the tears in his eyes sparkle under the moonlight. Jungwoo quickly composed himself by frantically shaking his head once more and plastering that expressionless smile on his face before looking back at Yuta.

"Forget what I said at the end. It's not important. I hope your relationship lasts long," he concluded, embarrassingly dabbing his eyes on his sleeves.

"Jungwoo... are you okay?" Yuta asked worriedly, hesitantly peering at him to properly look at the current state of him. Despite the bad lighting, Yuta could tell that the rims of Jungwoo's eyes were definitely slightly red, and that he looked significantly more worn out as compared to the last time he saw him. His faded silver hair seemed to have lost its shine and emphasised his tiredness. A knife of guilt stabbed through Yuta's heart at the thought of Jungwoo putting on that fake smile for him to pretend that everything was okay, when in fact it was the opposite.

"No. Actually... I don't know," Jungwoo's voice was positively quivering now, his facade broken like a bullet shattering glass into a million shards. Tears were starting to well up in his eyes again but he didn't bother wiping it away as he continued, "I think my soulmate's interested in someone else."

Yuta felt as if gravity had doubled and pushed his heart from his chest into his feet. In simpler words, he felt terrible. Here he was, pouring out his selfish concerns about not being able to love Sicheng back due to his negative mindset, and there Jungwoo was, absolutely broken by the fact that his little crush might not be mutual but put up with Yuta while forcing a pained smile on his face.

"Shit. I'm- I'm really sorry," Yuta squeezed Jungwoo's hand as the latter tried his best to force the tears that threatened to fall back into his eyes. "Are you sure about that? How did you find out that he's interested in someone else?"

"I... I don't really know. I think I might be overthinking this, as usual. I'm so fucking pathetic, right? Crying over something that I don't even know is true or not," Jungwoo forced a cackle before picking up his full glass and downing the entire thing in one gulp.

"Shut up, you're not pathetic," Yuta's words grew unheard as Jungwoo called a waiter over to order another beer for himself. "You can tell me what happened, I'll try my best to help you like how you try to help me."

Jungwoo bit his bottom lip, stubbornly shaking his head like a little child, causing the first tear to roll down his cheek. He immediately swiped it away, clearing his throat to hide his embarrassment.

"Jungwoo, please... You told this to me before, didn't you? That I have no choice but to trust you?" Yuta tried to make Jungwoo look at him but the man was persistent in his obstinate decision of being independent. "It's the same for you too. You can trust me. And I'll listen to you and try to help you."

Jungwoo met Yuta's gaze for a brief second before sighing, demolishing all barriers between them and exposing his raw emotions to the man before him.

"It happened two weeks ago, I think. I called him out to have dinner with him but throughout the entire duration he would be texting someone on his phone. I kept asking who he was texting, hoping that he'd get the message that I wasn't happy but he always replied with _'oh, it's just a friend'_. Like I can definitely tell that it's not just a friend? What friend is so important that you have to keep texting them when you're out with someone else?" Jungwoo fumed, his hands curling up into fists. His expression told a different story- tears were freely streaming down his cheeks now and he was still nibbling on his lips, and Yuta knew that feeling more than anyone else.

"I had already planned to confess to him at the end of the dinner, but halfway through someone called him and he kept nervously glancing at me as he talked into the phone. Then when the call ended he told me he had to go as something came up urgently. He just left like that. Can you imagine how I felt, Yuta?" Jungwoo's voice was teetering on the edge of desperation, clutching his glass so tightly that Yuta was afraid that it might shatter if he didn't stop him early enough.

"It's so frustrating! I asked him repeatedly if he's seeing anyone and he always denies it, yet he's acting like that!" His body trembled with anger. Yuta couldn't bear to see Jungwoo in that state anymore so he leaned in and engulfed the man in his embrace, letting his tears soak the fabric on his left shoulder.

"Yuta... please tell me I'm overthinking it... he isn't actually seeing someone, right?" Jungwoo sounded so vulnerable and afraid at that moment, a complete opposite of his usual cocky self. Yuta thought of his response as Jungwoo calmed down enough to stop trembling and remove himself from Yuta shoulder, his sobs reduced to sniffles.

"I'll tell you my honest opinion, alright?" Yuta spoke in the most gentle and convincing voice he could afford. "We can't be a hundred percent sure about anything, but the possibility that your soulmate isn't dating anyone sounds quite high. You have a chance with him, Jungwoo, and you should quickly do something about it before it's too late."

Jungwoo sniffled, dabbing the corners of his eyes with the tissues that Yuta offered him. "Are you saying that I have to confess to him soon so that I can snatch him first?"

"Yes, you can do that, right?" Yuta confirmed, keeping a careful eye on Jungwoo in case he unexplainably burst into tears again.

"I... I asked him out for dinner next week. I think I'll do it then," Jungwoo took a deep breath, straightened his back, and flashed a smile at Yuta. This time, however, Yuta noticed his eyes shining with confidence and hope.

"I'm sorry you had to see this side of me... but thank you for listening to me, Yuta."

Through his puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks, Yuta could tell that Jungwoo's grin was genuine this time, the usual monotony of it thrown far away. Yuta grinned back, hoping that this small gesture would fuel his friend with determination to not feel upset even with life's setbacks hurled at him.

"You're welcome, Jungwoo."

If the most stoic-looking people concealed their own problems so well, Yuta couldn't help but wonder what misfortunes the seemingly-perfect universe had in plan but hid away from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're finally half way through this! sorry this chapter was pretty boring n jungwoo centric.. his role in this story will just grow bigger n bigger so!! next chapter will be much longer and more interesting so anticipate it :D


	6. 牺

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **牺(xī):** But if you truly like someone, you'd do anything to give the best to them. 

Yuta tried his best to heed Jungwoo's advice, tattooing what Jungwoo said to him on the surface of his mind so that he'd never forget. He turned a blind eye to the red string physically connecting them and showered Sicheng with all the love he could possibly afford. Sicheng, of course, didn't detect any abnormality in Yuta's behaviour and instead basked in the mounds of love and affection.

On the flip side, he wondered how Jungwoo was coping, if he was also listening to what Yuta had earnestly told him the other day. Jungwoo texted him a couple hours back that he was going to meet up with him soon, and Yuta wondered if his predictions had been correct- if Jungwoo had already mustered up the courage to confess to him, if it had went well, if his soulmate and him were happily in love-

Yuta's phone dinged as it vibrated against his stomach, waking up a drowsy Sicheng who was just about to fall asleep on his shoulder. Yuta lightly kissed Sicheng's bangs and placed a hand on his head to try to lull the sleepy man back to sleep as he fumbled with his phone with his other hand.

 

 **From:** Jungwoozy

_yuta_

_please_

_please come now_

_i don't feel too good_

_it went terribly_

_i'm here already_

 

"Sicheng," Yuta blacked out his phone screen and placed it on his bedside table as he wriggled a little, disrupting the other once again, making him whine softly and wrap his legs around Yuta's waist.

" _Sicheng_ ," Yuta tried again, a little more desperately but still hiding the nervousness and dread in his voice. "I have to go somewhere."

"It's like, 9 PM. Where are you going so late at night?" Sicheng whined louder, refusing to let Yuta leave his koala-like grasp.

"I'm meeting a friend. It's important," Yuta patted his arm as if it would loosen Sicheng's iron-like grip around his chest.

"Jungwoo?" Sicheng guessed, miraculously hitting bullseye. "Is he that important that you have to stop cuddling with me and go out to drink with him?"

Yuta sighed loudly, leaning in to press an impromptu kiss on Sicheng's lips. "Please don't think like that. He's going through a hard time now and I've to be there for him," Yuta hoped Sicheng wouldn't take this the wrong way. "I promise I'll continue cuddling with you when I get back, okay?"

Sporting a gigantic pout on his lips, Sicheng removed his limbs from Yuta's body and rolled over so that he was pressed against the wall. Yuta absolutely hated the sight of a Sicheng that was mad because of him, but then he thought of Jungwoo who was probably having an even harder time holding himself together so that he wouldn't fall into bits and he didn't feel too bad.

"I promise I won't take too long," he whispered into Sicheng's ear, smoothed his bedhead with his hands and planted a sweet kiss on his jaw before grabbing his phone, jacket and exiting his bedroom.

Yuta brisk walked to their usual meeting spot, his breath coming out in little puffs of fog in the increasingly cold weather. He pulled his jacket around him tighter and didn't slow down until he caught sight of Jungwoo's silver hair standing out in the crowd of office workers in various states of drunkenness.

Yuta maneuvered his way through the throngs of people and lifted himself onto the bar stool beside his friend. Jungwoo didn't have his usual glass of beer in front of him, a tray of seven shots taking its place. Yuta observed, five of them were already empty and Jungwoo looked like he was about to throw up any moment. _How long had he been here already?_

"Jungwoo..." Yuta placed a hand on Jungwoo's back in worry and concern. The called man turned his head a fraction to return Yuta's gaze and in that moment, Yuta realised how terrible he appeared. Jungwoo's eyes were bloodshot, his eyebags puffed up to the size of his eyes, his nose was red and swollen, the grin that Yuta grew so used to seeing completely wiped off and replaced with a empty stare.

"Jungwoo, I'm here, it'll be okay," Yuta's words sounded as empty as Jungwoo's expression, bouncing off his worn-out figure and not making him feel any better at all.

"Yuta... it's worse than you think it is... he didn't just indirectly reject me, he visually displayed the fact that he's interested in someone else in front of my fucking face," Jungwoo's voice sounded a pitch higher than it usually did, cracking every few words, and Yuta doubted if he could even comprehend what was coming out his mouth as he blabbered away.

Yuta remained silent, gently rubbing circles on Jungwoo's back as he began sniffling and hiccuping simultaneously. Pent-up tears found their way out of his eyes and onto his cheeks, trickling down onto his lap when he couldn't be bothered to wipe them away. His left hand reached for another shot glass and Yuta noticed his string heavily picked at and crumpled, as if Jungwoo was trying to use his fingernails to snap it apart.

"Just before we met... he texted me... a friend was coming with him because wanted to tag along..." His voice was strained and a little off-pitch after pouring a single shot of whatever strong alcohol Jungwoo ordered straight into his oesophagus. "Guy couldn't keep his hands off him the entire time... I think he was hinting at something, and I seemed to have gotten it. He wants me to back off."

Yuta's heart twisted with empathy, watching Jungwoo lower his head right after the last sentence. His whole body convulsed in silent sobs as he recollected that moment, tears falling onto his ripped jeans like little diamonds sparkling under the moonlight.

"Did... your soulmate try to push him away or something? Did he look uncomfortable?" Yuta tried to spark a flame of hope since Jungwoo looked like he was completely void of it. "Maybe he's just an overprotective friend that didn't trust him with you?"

Yuta cringed at his own words only after they had left his mouth, realising that he had made absolutely no sense. Jungwoo just snorted in response, not even bothering to reply to Yuta's redundant question.

"I don't know how long he's been keeping this from me, but from the way it looks, it's probably been going on for quite some time already," Jungwoo stated extremely vaguely. "Yuta... what do you think I should do?"

Yuta gulped down the sudden nervousness that rose up his throat when Jungwoo slightly turned his head to look at him. Though his expression was void of life, Jungwoo still waited patiently for Yuta's answer, trusting him to make an important decision that would Jungwoo himself was too wasted to make.

"How about we do it like this," Yuta suggested, wrapping his hand around Jungwoo's wrist to prevent him from suddenly reaching for the last shot glass on the tray. "Let's meet again tomorrow. You bring your soulmate and his so-called 'friend'. If your soulmate can bring a friend, then you have the excuse to bring one too, which is me," Yuta pointed to himself and attempted a smile at Jungwoo, who responded with an empty stare.

"And I'll see how bad the situation is there, then I'll be able to help you. How does that sound?" Yuta continued since Jungwoo didn't appear to be crafting out a response to his suggestion. Jungwoo nodded solemnly, his sad eyes not leaving his crumpled red string for a single second.

"You'll have some time to think about what you want to do too, then we'll decide together, okay?" Yuta squeezed his friend's hand and that seemed to elicit a minute smile out of Jungwoo.

"Don't dwell on it too much, you can text me anytime if you're feeling down and I'll come over," Sicheng flashed across his mind as the words came out of Yuta, but this time, not a single spike of guilt hit him. Jungwoo's smile had widened and he seemed to gain back the light in his eyes as he met his friend's gaze.

"Thank you, Yuta."

 

 

* * *

 

 

  
_"Yuta!"_

The called man whipped his head in the direction of the voice, his train of thoughts abruptly cut off. Though Sicheng was cozily tucked under his right arm, all Yuta could think about was meeting Jungwoo, his soulmate, and his soulmate's friend later that night. Jungwoo still hadn't texted him any details, which added on to Yuta's worries that the man was too drunk off his ass the night before that he didn't register what Yuta had told him.

"Yuta, are you listening?" Taeyong held the controller with one hand, tilting his head to catch Yuta's gaze. Doyoung was beside him furiously jabbing at the buttons on the controller, strings of curses falling endlessly from his lips at how Taeyong was barely putting in any effort but still easily winning him at Street Fighter.

"Sorry, what did you say? I was kind of dozing off," Yuta yawned for good measure, shifting his position so that he could get more comfortable.

"I said, the four of us should go out for a drink later. It's been quite awhile since we all got wasted," Taeyong's attention returned back to the TV screen. With a graceful swipe of his thumb across the controller, Taeyong's character headbutted Doyoung's and instantly took him down. Muttering about how some people can _'multitask but still do better than me'_ , Doyoung flung the controller on the couch which landed with a hollow _'thump'_ on Sicheng's stomach, waking the poor guy up.

"Wasted? Don't forget, you need someone to escort you home after that, and that someone has to be me," Doyoung huffed, folding his arms across his chest, clearly upset that he had been defeated for the fourth time in a row. Taeyong mockingly stuck out a tongue at him and promptly received a whack on the head.

Sicheng let out a disgruntled groan, detaching himself from Yuta and sitting up on the couch. "No one asked you to be Taeyong's escort, Doyoung, you're the one volunteering," he swiftly ducked the pillow headed in the direction of his face. "Anyway, a drink later sounds like a good idea. I'm up for it."

Yuta remained silent as all three pairs of eyes fell on him. _How could he tell them that he was going out to drink with Jungwoo again without making Sicheng jealous?_ He pondered for a few moments, long enough to make Doyoung's eyebrows furrow at his sudden strange behaviour. Just before he could open his mouth to ask what was wrong, Yuta grinned, "okay, I'll join in too."

"Great!" Taeyong rose from his sitting position against the couch, performing a sophisticated twirl as he grabbed his jacket from the dining table, knocking over a pile of presumably Doyoung's documents to the floor, ignoring the death threats hurled at him. "Let's get going!"

Yuta shot up from his seat in panic, hands feeling around the couch for his phone. He had to explain to Jungwoo that three other clueless friends were going to be joining them in their soulmate crisis. "I need to go to the bathroom first, wait for me," he mumbled an excuse and headed for the safety of Taeyong and Doyoung's shared bathroom.

 

 **To:** Jungwoozy

_jungwoo_

_change of plan_

_three of my friends are joining us to drink this time_

_actually two friends and one soulmate_

_you fine with that?_

 

Yuta's fingers impatiently drummed at the sinktop as he waited for Jungwoo's reply. Thankfully, he came online almost at once, receiving a reply a few seconds later.

 

 **From:** Jungwoozy

_i'm fine_

_my soulmate just texted that they can't make it_

_said they're going out_

_i'm pretending to be okay_

 

Yuta frowned at his response, subconsciously picturing Jungwoo in the same state as yesterday, curled up on his bed, crying alone under the covers.

 

 **To:** Jungwoozy

_:(_

_it's okay my friends are fun_

_we'll all have a great time together, don't be upset alright?_

 

 **From:** Jungwoozy

_oh my roomie saw me leaving n suddenly wants to come_

_i guess it'll be fun_

_your friends meeting my friend :]_

 

Yuta stifled a laugh at Jungwoo's weird smiley face. The more he looked at it, the more similar it became to Jungwoo's smile in reality. He locked his phone and quickly exited the toilet, leaving the apartment with Sicheng's warm hand in his and his two colleagues in tow. Yuta led them to the usual pub that him and Jungwoo often met at, but headed inside instead of their usual two-seater bar table to escape the cold. Jungwoo and his roommate weren't here yet, so they settled around a round table and resumed their conversation.

While being the judge of a heated argument between Doyoung and a semi-drunk Taeyong about whether Mike Wazowski blinks or winks, with Sicheng sitting by the side, casually interjecting with unheard comments ("can't we just agree that he bwinks?"), Yuta caught sight two figures, one familiar and one not, entering the pub. Yuta met Jungwoo's eyes almost immediately and waved enthusiastically, beckoning them to come over. Jungwoo returned the greeting with a nervous smile, looping an arm around his friend's to pull him over to their table.

In his excitement that his friends were finally meeting, Yuta grew oblivious to Doyoung and Taeyong's argument dying down into silence. It was only after Yuta noticed the smile on Jungwoo's face drop into a panicked expression that he realised something was off.

His gaze shifted down a few inches, and he realised why.

_Jungwoo's string._

The crumpled red line on Jungwoo's end didn't fade into thin air, but instead continued on, and on, and on, until the other end looped around the left pinky of his dear friend and colleague, Doyoung.

Suddenly everything made sense.

Yuta could almost hear the joints of his neck creaking as he lifted up his head to look back at Jungwoo's forced smile. From the looks of it, it seemed like he could tell that Yuta had already connected the dots and was sending a signal for him to act normal, they would talk about this later.

_But how could Yuta act normal when he just found out that his drinking buddy of a few months now was the soulmate of one of his bestest friends, who was also figuratively engaged to his other bestest friend?_

"Doyoung... it's a s-surprise to see you here," Jungwoo broke the silence, his voice coming out strained.

Yuta pried his eyes off Jungwoo's expression and his visible string to look at his friends' reactions. Doyoung had risen from his seat and his eyes were rounder than Yuta had ever seen them, blinking in confusion as his startled pupils darted around. Taeyong had also stood up and inched dangerously close to Doyoung, a mixture of surprise and distaste contorting his expression. Sicheng remained seated, his gaze flicking between Jungwoo, Yuta, Doyoung and Taeyong every second, wondering what the hell was going on.

"Looks like we have a coincidence here," Doyoung proceeded, sensing the heavy tension suddenly arising among them. "Yuta, Sicheng, this is Jungwoo, my college friend."

Yes, everything _definitely_ made sense.

"So you're Jungwoo," Sicheng remarked curtly, standing up as well, taking a step closer to Jungwoo to observe him as if he was some scientific specimen. Yuta was pretty sure that Sicheng was pissed until he broke out into his warm, welcoming grin, instantly lightening the mood. "I'm Sicheng! You must be a pretty great drinking buddy for Yuta to hang out with so often."

Sicheng's comforting aura must've radiated to Jungwoo as his grin visibly relaxed. "Thank you," he shyly whispered. "Uh... so as you all might or might not know, Yuta and I are drinking buddies, and..." Jungwoo nudged his friend to come out from hiding behind him, "this is Taeil, my roommate. Now may I excuse Yuta and myself, we have uh- some... talking to do, I'm sorry."

With that, Jungwoo pushed Taeil towards the three of them who were already starting to include him in their unfinished debate, grabbed Yuta's arm and yanked him to their bar table on the outside of the pub. Jungwoo let go to climb up onto the stool, promptly burying his head in his palms after he had sat down. Yuta stood rooted to the ground once Jungwoo had stopped tugging him, his wide eyes fixated on the trembling guy.

"Your soulmate is Doyoung? Of all people? _Doyoung?!_ "

"I... I'm sorry... I didn't know..." Jungwoo's voice was quivering and Yuta came to the horrible conclusion that he was crying. Because of him.

Jungwoo, his only friend that he let into his deepest secret, his only friend that shared the same secret as him. Jungwoo, who had a harmless little crush on Doyoung, his soulmate. Jungwoo, who was completely broken and devastated upon finding out that Doyoung was interested in someone else, who had called for Yuta to seek help and comfort and advice. Yuta, entirely blind to the whole situation carefully laid out for him, cluelessly feeling sorry for Jungwoo and offering words of help, yet wondering why Doyoung and Taeyong could never be together- it was all because of the man sitting right in front of him, tears of helplessness spilling out of his eyes.

Yuta's head throbbed with the heavy influx of realisation that gradually dawned upon him. He couldn't even bring himself to feel angry at himself for turning a blind eye to what was right in front of him, or Jungwoo for cockblocking Doyoung and Taeyong's relationship. He was stunned till dumbfounded, blankly staring at Jungwoo's badly damaged string precariously dangling from his left pinky like an idiot.

"Did you know that Doyoung and Taeyong have been blatantly in love for two years?" Yuta's mind managed to function enough amidst this mess to churn out some words that came out more harsh than he expected them to. "Did you know that Taeyong has waited for Doyoung to acknowledge their relationship, without being impatient or forceful, for two years?"

"I... I- no, I didn't know," Jungwoo's mumblings were incoherent and barely understandable from his intense trembling. "Yuta, I know you're mad, but-"

"No, I'm not mad," Yuta lied although he could already feel his blood sizzling under his skin even in the piercing cold weather. "I'm just stunned. At how everything's connecting together. Why Doyoung hasn't confessed to Taeyong. Why Taeyong seemed to be more protective that time you met them. Why Doyoung isn't interested in you although you're his soulmate."

The last sentence sent a hot, white bolt of pain shooting through Jungwoo's temple, making him wince audibly. "I figured too. I know it's all my fault, so listen I already-"

"It's going to be tough stealing Doyoung from Taeyong, are you still up for it?" Yuta interrupted a second time, his tone growing more and more sharp and dangerous. "I'm sorry, after what happened I'm not going to make any decisions for you, Jungwoo, but I think I made it pretty clear what I would've chosen for you."

"I know, I know," Jungwoo sighed, his voice significantly softer than just now as all that crying undeniably tired him out. "I... already made a decision. I was going to tell you when I came, but I didn't expect... this to happen."

Yuta remained silent, waiting for Jungwoo's sobs to die down so that he could be calm enough when elaborating on his point. The guy spent a few moments wiping his damp eyes on his sleeves, then turned to face Yuta and stuck his left pinky out, putting his nearly-mangled string on full display. Yuta could tell from the little frays that he endlessly picked at the double knot, trying his best to untie it but to no avail.

"I'm going to cut my string and tie it to Taeyong's."

For the second time that day, Yuta gaped at Jungwoo, not bothering to hide his shock this time. His boiling blood cooled immediately at his drastic decision, his anger dissipating as he caught sight of Jungwoo's eyes welling up with tears again. Yuta's eyebrows furrowed and a pitiful expression took over his features.

"Now?" Yuta questioned hesitantly. Jungwoo responded with a silent, curt nod of his head, closing his eyes and taking a few deep breaths to prevent the tears from escaping again.

"Are... you sure?" Yuta's uncertain tone made him sound as if he was the one who made the decision and not the owner of the string himself. Jungwoo nodded again, a little bit more confident this time.

"That's what you want me to do, isn't it?" Jungwoo lowered his head, nibbling on his bottom lip. "That's also what I want to do for myself. And Doyoung. And Taeyong."

Yuta winced, the guilt from his words earlier barreling into him at once. Sure, he did feel bad for indirectly telling Jungwoo to cut it off, literally, but he expected his words to flow through Jungwoo's left ear and out from the right, given his hard-headed personality and stubborn character.

"But... Doyoung's your crush..." Yuta continued prompting, slowly growing unsure of which side he was on now. "Doesn't it hurt? To let him go so easily?"

Jungwoo laughed dryly, a puff of fog escaping his mouth. "Of course it hurts. And it wasn't easy. I spent all night," his lips stretched into a monotonous smile, a mask that could easily hide all of his pain under.

"But if you truly like someone, you'd do anything to give the best to them, even if it causes irreversible damage and a broken heart. I know I'm not the best for Doyoung, so this is all I can give him."

Yuta's next words were caught in his throat as he carefully processed Jungwoo's words. He must've really thought hard about it to reach that conclusion, and he must've really been brave and confident to not waver under Yuta's enticement to change his decision.

Yuta nodded solemnly, finally convinced that Jungwoo wouldn't regret his actions after he had committed them. "So, how are we going to do this?"

Jungwoo took a deep breath and reached into his back pocket, pulling out a palm-sized, stainless steel scissors. Yuta gulped- such a small tool, but the unspoken powers it held in his sharp blades.

"I need you to help me distract Taeyong, then cut off his string," Jungwoo placed the scissors in Yuta's palm and enclosed it, before extending his string to Yuta as a demonstration. "Here, you hold the string at the base like this, and cut it right before it fades away. The string should stretch like an elastic band, so bring it all the way back here. Be careful not to let go, if you do it's the end of it and it won't be able to stretch again."

Yuta blinked up at him in hesitation. "Do you realise that we're cutting Taeyong's soulmate off from him?"

Jungwoo met his gaze, the size of his eyes reduced to two dangerous slits. "Are you gonna help me do this or not?"

"Okay, okay," Yuta took a cautious step back. Jungwoo's sassy side had returned in no time. "One more question. Isn't Taeyong going to... feel me cut his string? I mean, it's a part of him after all."

Jungwoo shot him an incredulous look, " _of course_ he's going to be aware of someone meddling with something that's _invisible_ to him." He rolled his eyes a moment later, "just make sure that no one sees the scissors in your hand, and you'll be fine."

With that, Jungwoo gave Yuta an encouraging squeeze on his shoulder and ushered him back into the pub, making sure that he kept his tear-stained and puffy face from the rest so that they wouldn't ask questions. Yuta made his way back to their table, where it seemed like their debate had finally ended as they were chatting among themselves normally.

To be more specific, a tipsy Sicheng was hitting it off well with Taeil, his friendly and endearing self matching with the quiet and diffident man. Doyoung was pushing away a clearly wasted Taeyong who attempted to kiss him every five seconds, silently listening to Sicheng and Taeil's conversation while taking tiny sips from his glass of sprite. Yuta's reappearance surprisingly went unnoticed by Sicheng, so he slid into an empty chair on Taeyong's left, immediately catching the attention of Doyoung.

"Where did you and Jungwoo go? Did something happen? Where's Jungwoo? Is he okay?" Doyoung fired questions at him like a rifle as his large, concerned eyes made an appearance.

"Nothing happened, we were just talking about things. Jungwoo's in the bathroom now," Yuta's lie came out naturally and Doyoung bought it without any words. He took out his phone and absentmindedly scrolled through some social media, and Yuta decided that now was the time.

Uncurling his hand to reveal the scissors, Yuta suspiciously eyed Taeyong's left pinky which was casually resting on his thigh. Taeyong was currently leaning his head on Doyoung's shoulder, distractedly watching some video of a bunch of cute cats taking a bath. Yuta made his movements as natural as possible, swiftly pinching Taeyong's string with his left hand and cutting it with his right, and the deed was done in a couple of seconds.

"I'm going to check on Jungwoo, he didn't look too well just now and I'm afraid that he might've collapsed in the toilet," Yuta waited a minute or two before directing his words to Doyoung, who simply waved him off as he was too busy wrestling a Taeyong whose lips were inches away from his neck.

With Taeyong's string still firmly in between his thumb and index finger, Yuta stood up and hurriedly made his way outside, where Jungwoo was still in the same position as just now, anticipating his arrival. Yuta raised his pinched fingers and shot an accomplished grin at Jungwoo, who returned it with his default flat smile.

"Give me back the scissors, it's my turn to do the snipping now," Jungwoo stuck a hand out and Yuta dropped the cutting tool in his hand. Jungwoo's string snapped off much easier than Taeyong's, the simple reason being that his string was already much more damaged to begin with.

Yuta cast a glance at Jungwoo's face as he hastily destroyed the last sliver of hope that kept him determined to win Doyoung for himself. His expression was stoic, as usual, but Yuta could see through the cracks in his mask that he was using every ounce of energy to not stop himself from doing it.

All that was left of Jungwoo's string was the double knot and about an inch of the red line, almost identical to Jaehyun's string that Yuta had seen that day. Jungwoo held Doyoung's string between his thumb and index finger and gestured for Yuta to give him Taeyong's string. Yuta watched silently as Jungwoo bit down on his bottom lip so hard that it turned white, breathing heavily as his fingers busied themselves with tying Doyoung and Taeyong's string together.

Instantly, the moment Jungwoo tightened the bow he tied, the knot faded into thin air and all that was left was one single red string, completely unblemished, as if it was originally already as it is. Yuta observed the magical scene in awe, until a short, hurt snigger emerged from Jungwoo's lips, making his eyes flicker to him in concern.

"Huh. They were really meant for each other," Jungwoo's trembling voice dripped with jealousy and dejection, his fingers never letting go of the string even though all that had to be done was finished. Yuta decided to be smart for once and kept his mouth shut, letting Jungwoo go through his moment alone.

"Once I let go of this, I'll never be able to touch Doyoung's string ever again," Jungwoo tearfully commented, carefully cradling the newly-joint string in his palms. "Twenty-five years of being connected to him, five years of having a crush on him... it's all gone, Yuta, it's all gone."

Jungwoo took a long, shaky breath, fighting back the sob that threatened to leap out of his throat. Yuta's heart cracked at how vulnerable Jungwoo looked at that moment, refusing to let go of the string as if his life depended on it. His sore lips were quivering, his nose and the rims of his eyes were stained red and his chest rapidly heaved up and down from the intensity of his breathing. Yuta pushed back the urge to step forward and give the powerless man a comforting hug, settling for a feather-like grip on his wrist instead.

"It's time to let go and move on, Jungwoo, your life can go on without Doyoung. He's found his true happiness now, thanks to you, so it's time to look for yours again."

Bidding the string one final goodbye, Jungwoo squeezed his eyes shut and released his grip on it, sending it spiraling into thin air and vanishing barely milliseconds after. He collapsed into Yuta's arms right away, his knees softening into jelly, unable to hold him upright. Yuta warmly welcomed him into his embrace, clutching the fragile man gently as he buried his face into Yuta's shoulder.

"Do you think I did enough?" His insecurities tumbled out one after another, casting mini vibrations on Yuta's shoulder. "Do you think Doyoung will be happy now? Am I going to be okay without him?"

"You did the best you could, which was more than enough. You're really brave," Yuta could feel tears brimming precariously in his eyelids at Jungwoo's insecure words. "Doyoung will be fine. And so will you. Trust me, okay?"

Prying himself away from Yuta, Jungwoo balanced on his wobbly legs while digging the heel of his palm in his temple. "I'm going to go back first, I don't think I can face Doyoung or Taeyong after this," Jungwoo conveyed an apologetic look to Yuta. "Tell Taeil that I'm sorry I left him there. I'll see you soon, Yuta... thank you for your help today."

Jungwoo spun around and stumbled out into the dark cold after that, never once turning back again. Yuta released a breath he didn't know he was holding in until Jungwoo's figure disappeared around a corner. He reluctantly dragged his feet back, where he was met face to face with Sicheng, Taeil being irritatingly clingy at his side, Taeyong and Doyoung right behind them.

"You were kinda taking a little too long with Jungwoo, we wanted to head back already. Sorry Yuta," Sicheng's drunken voice spoke up. Yuta pushed his unusually dismissive behaviour at the back of his head, his mind more focused on a certain something else.

Lowering his gaze, he was met with the sight of Doyoung's hand enclosed in Taeyong's, the short red string between them unfamiliar and out of place. The two of them were too busy displaying their affection to each other to notice Yuta's unbelieving stare at the changes in their behaviour already.

"It's- it's fine. Let's go home."

It's the confusion, of whether to feel happy for Taeyong and Doyoung for their new connection or to feel upset for Jungwoo that he indirectly broke his own heart, that sends Yuta spiraling into an endless black hole of doubt and worry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welp... poor jungwoo :(( but at least from now on dotae will be a cute happy couple :D


	7. 家

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **家(jiā):** your arms are my favourite place to be in.

Yuta didn't expect the results to surface the very next morning.

As usual, Doyoung rung his doorbell promptly at seven thirty in the morning, but when Yuta answered the door, the normally grumpy and pissy Doyoung was replaced with a brightly grinning, lovesick Doyoung who basically had Taeyong wrapped around him like a koala.

Yuta blinked a couple times, rubbed the haze out his eyes even, but the million-dollar smile on his friend's face still hadn't vanished.

"Good morning Yuta!" Doyoung exclaimed, grinning so widely that his gums were visible. Yuta cocked an eyebrow at him- he'd never seen Doyoung this happy before, let alone with Taeyong clinging onto him like his bolster.

"Good... morning?" Yuta squinted, stepping aside to let his friend lug Taeyong into his apartment kitchen and deposit him on one of the kitchen stools. Doyoung opened the fridge, humming a happy tune as he rummaged about, leaving Yuta still standing at the doorway following his movements with an incredulous look on his face, wondering what the hell had came over him.

"Doyoung, are you... okay?" Yuta wondered out loud, his sleep-ridden brain still processing the possible reasons at a snail's pace. Doyoung's face emerged from the fridge and he flashed Yuta his gummy smile yet again.

"I'm perfectly fine?" His reply sounded more like a question. His smile not faltering a single bit, he began unwrapping the frozen chicken fingers he dug out of the freezer, when Taeyong snapped out of his daze and made grabby hands at Doyoung, sporting a pout on his face.

Yuta spectated in utter disbelief as Doyoung instantly put down the scissors and the packet, sauntered up to Taeyong, let the big baby cuddle him for a solid ten seconds before pecking his lips voluntarily and going back to preparing breakfast like nothing out of the ordinary happened, as if that was something that occurred every single hour of the day.

Yuta's jaw hung open at the sight that just unfolded right before his eyes. His brain seemed to have woken up a bit as it rummaged through Yuta's recollections of last night, trying to find the answer, when it suddenly dawned on him.

After seeing their strings for such a long time, Yuta had naturally turned a blind eye to them, but his gaze shifted down to see one long red line instead of two short, separate ones, and the first image that flashed across his mind was a trembling Jungwoo trying desperately to hold back his choked sobs as he let his string, the most important part of him, go.

Yuta's jaw automatically closed back up at the stinging memory. Doyoung turned a blind eye to Yuta's reaction, instead focusing his attention on Taeyong who had tucked Doyoung's shoulder under his chin as he hugged his waist, the sad, melting chicken fingers forgotten on an aluminium tray.

"Are you two..." Yuta trailed off, his hesitant voice growing softer as he was afraid that he was interrupting an intimate moment. Doyoung peered at him with wide eyes, before clapping his hands and exclaiming like he remembered something important.

"That's right! It completely slipped my mind, sorry," Doyoung pried Taeyong's arms from his waist, held his left hand and and intertwined their fingers, holding it up for Yuta to see. "Taeyong and I are officially dating now."

Yuta gasped loudly, clutching his chest with one hand and stabling himself on the door frame with the other. He prayed that his exaggerated reaction could mask the fact that he already saw this coming since last night. "You're _finally_ admitting it? Doyoung, are you really okay?"

"That's what I want to know too," Taeyong piped in, pressing a sloppy smooch to the back of Doyoung's hand before letting it go. "You can imagine how shocked I was when he suddenly came up to me last night and told me that he loved me and that he would like to be my boyfriend. I nearly fainted on the spot."

Yuta chuckled, trying to picture the scene in his mind as Doyoung gazed lovingly at his new boyfriend. "You should've seen his face. His reaction was priceless, as if I told him I just won a billion dollars."

"Becoming your boyfriend is better than winning a billion dollars," Taeyong shyly returned the gaze, his arms naturally curling back around Doyoung's waist and pulling him closer to plant a haste kiss on his lips.

The corners of Yuta's lips lifted at the sappy scene in front of him, both Taeyong and Doyoung in each other's arms, cheeks dusted with a light shade of pink. Despite feeling immensely happy for his two friends finally closing the gap, his heart twisted with sorrow the moment he took into sight the short red string connecting them together. The vision of Jungwoo with tears flowing down his cheeks, a stubbed red string looped around his pinky seemed to be embedded in his mind.

"I'm really, really happy for you guys, I never imagined that this day would happen," Yuta flung his guilt for Jungwoo to a corner of his heart, focusing on his friends' happiness at the moment. "But seriously, Doyoung, what made you suddenly change your mind?"

"I don't know??" Doyoung shrugged, allowing Taeyong to freely bury his face in the crook of his neck and cuddle the living life out of him. "When we were walking back home yesterday I was just kinda overwhelmed with feelings. I looked at this guy," he placed a hand on Taeyong's head as he said this, holding his head in place.

"And I suddenly felt different. Like we were somehow, like... connected? Ah, I don't know."

Yuta smiled wryly at Doyoung's comment. If only Doyoung knew the truth, the efforts that Jungwoo had to go through in order for this magical moment to happen. "I guess that could happen. It's really a miracle, I can understand why Taeyong has basically become a part of you now."

"He's like a dead weight," Doyoung chuckled, kissing the top of Taeyong's head to signify that he was joking. "Anyway, I better get breakfast ready before we all turn up late for work."

Slapping Taeyong's ass to get him out of his way, Doyoung lightly kissed Taeyong's nose before going back to slotting the tray of chicken fingers into the oven. Yuta walked out of the kitchen to change into his work outfit, his grin gradually falling once his friends were out of sight.

He's supposed to feel happy for Taeyong and Doyoung and congratulate them, but how could he do so with the overwhelming guilt of Jungwoo's actions from last night eating at him?

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The three of them walked into the office an hour later, Doyoung and Taeyong tightly holding hands with proud grins on their faces. All their colleagues whipped their heads in their direction, silence flooding the scene as everything stilled into a freeze frame for a second. Doyoung grinned sheepishly, holding up their intertwined fingers for everyone to see.

"Taeyong and I are dating now."

A second was all it took for the information to sink in, before chaos erupted, all their colleagues bursting into a round of cheers and whoops and claps, encircling the new couple while showering them with congratulations.

Yuta didn't bother suppressing his grin as he fondly watched everyone pounce on Doyoung and Taeyong at the same time, their work forgotten at their respective tables. Even Mr. Zhang came out of his office to pat them on the backs with a fatherly smile, before shooing everyone back to their job.

Sicheng's reaction was undeniably the sweetest, most innocent, most adorable, anything that basically described the man in general. Yuta's heart softened at the way his eyes glistened when they spilled the news to him, running up to give them the tightest and warmest hug while hopping up and down in pure happiness. He squealed in delight everytime they kissed, hitting the person that was beside him out of excitement, which always happened to be none other than Yuta.

"Let's go celebrate your getting together with a drink, after work," Sicheng suggested when the four of them were in the lounge during lunch time, Taeyong nestled snugly in Doyoung's lap as the latter hugged his waist. "This day has to be remembered and go down in history."

"That sounds like a good idea," Doyoung agreed without protest, the first time ever. It was as if a whole new Doyoung was born with the simple act of cutting and retying a string. "Should we invite Jungwoo and Taeil? I think it would be more fun with more people."

Sicheng offered a blank stare at him as a reply, muttering some unheard words under his breath before nodding his head reluctantly. Yuta turned towards him to question his weird reaction, but he had already rose from the couch to fetch something for himself in the refrigerator. Yuta looked at Taeyong instead, hoping that maybe he would know the reason behind Sicheng's sudden twist of mood, but he helpfully shrugged in response.

"Jungwoo says he can make it! Taeil as well," Doyoung exclaimed obliviously, pocketing his phone after conveying the news.

"Great! Can't wait to see Taeil again," Sicheng's usually chirpy voice had a sharp edge to it as he returned back to the couch, furiously chugging a bottle of water. Yuta visibly frowned in concern at him, but Sicheng pretended not to notice as he fiddled with the bottle cap.

"I think it's time we got back to work," Taeyong hopped off Doyoung's lap, sending Yuta a subtle signal with his eyes to find out why Sicheng was behaving this way.

For the rest of the day, Yuta noticed that Sicheng's mood had definitely shifted from his overactive, hyper self that morning. He didn't smile sweetly at Yuta whenever he called his name, didn't hit him anymore when Taeyong and Doyoung kissed in front of him, and mostly, he seemed to be avoiding Yuta's display of affection towards him.

It continued even when the four of them exited the office at the end of the day, lightly pacing towards the usual row of restaurants. Jungwoo and Taeil were already there, seated around a table, softly chatting between themselves as they waited for their arrival.

The moment the four of them walked up to the table, Jungwoo and Taeil were already on their feet, bashful grins on their faces as they congratulated Doyoung and Taeyong. Sicheng slinked up to Taeil's side and sat beside him, a little too close for Yuta's liking, but he didn't have the time to separate them as Jungwoo's hand was already around his wrist, pulling him away from the throngs of people. Yuta wordlessly allowed himself to be dragged away, ignoring Doyoung's eyebrows furrowing at them, going over to sit at their usual spot.

Jungwoo's hand around Yuta's wrist remained even after they had settled down, silently watching their breaths come out in translucent clouds of fog. Yuta sneakily peered at Jungwoo's expression and was taken aback at how contented and peaceful he seemed to appear, as if he didn't just witness the results of last night's heartbreaking decision a few minutes prior. Jungwoo's hand slowly inched down to hold Yuta's hand, Yuta feeling too sorry for the poor man beside him to have the heart to pull his hand away.

"Sorry. I'm kinda cold," Jungwoo timidly looked up at him, his familiar grin returning, instantly making Yuta's tense figure relax.

"It's okay. I don't mind," Yuta sent a reassuring smile back at him, squeezing his hand for extra comfort. His gaze dropped down to Jungwoo's hand snuggled in Yuta's, the sight of his short, frayed string making memories from last night tumble into him and feeling even more apologetic for Jungwoo who appeared to be pretending that everything was fine.

"Doyoung looks really happy," Jungwoo uttered, breathing a huge sigh, one that Yuta realised he had been holding in all this while, soon after he said that. "I should've done it a long time ago, right Yuta? I was the one holding Doyoung back from his happiness. I'm such a fucking asshole."

"Jungwoo, _please_ ," Yuta sighed, "it doesn't matter anymore. You've done the right thing and Doyoung is happy now, so you have to move on. You're not an asshole, I think you're someone whose really brave and considerate."

Jungwoo scoffed, wriggling his hand out of Yuta's grasp and folding his arms over his stomach. "My foot. Someone who's brave and considerate wouldn't be feeling like this now. Regretting it slightly even when I know I did what I was supposed to do."

Yuta tried to come up with words that could at least make Jungwoo stop doubting himself, but his thoughts got cut off when he noticed a shadow behind them zoom past under the gleaming streetlamp. He spun around to see who it was, but mysteriously, no one was there. Jungwoo seemed to not notice, meeting his gaze with a confused glint in his eyes. Yuta shook his head, concluding that it was probably a crow flying past them.

"Remember when I told you that being able to see the strings was painfully unfortunate?" Yuta spoke up after moments of silence elapsed between them. Jungwoo nodded, distractedly flicking his stubbed string around with his index finger. "This is exactly why. If we weren't given this ability, you wouldn't have known that you were connected to Doyoung. You wouldn't have to go through this heartbreak. Our lives would've been so much more easier, wouldn't it?"

When Jungwoo didn't reply for a long time, Yuta looked over at him and was surprised to see Jungwoo already staring at him, a spark of what Yuta presumed to be a flame in his eyes. "You're not getting the point," he grumbled, "if I didn't know I was connected to Doyoung, I would've persisted on trying to win him. I'm pretty sure you've known Doyoung long enough- he's the type that can't say no. I would've robbed him of his happiness. While being completely unaware. That sounds way worse than getting a heartbreak, no?"

Yuta barely had the time to suck in a breath to reply when Jungwoo beat him to it. "I think I already proved my point to you last night. If you haven't noticed, we, as observers in the world of soulmates, have the power to control our own, as well as other people's, fate."

Yuta's eyebrows raised as they disappeared behind his bangs, his lips parted a slight bit as he thought about what Jungwoo said. His argument died in his throat, Jungwoo's words were much more deep and meaningful than the shallow shit he was about to fight back with.

"Don't you think it's cool?" Jungwoo pondered out loud, dreamily gazing at the sky. "If you wanted to date someone, you could just go ahead and cut off their string and tie it to yours, and they wouldn't even realise anything except for the fact that they were falling for you. But if this ability falls into the hands of the wrong people, then shit could go down."

Yuta nodded absentmindedly, shivering as the temperature steadily dropped, the harsh cold wind seeping into his bones and freezing him inside out. "I think we should head back in. Doyoung didn't look too happy when he saw you drag me out here, and plus, it's really cold," Yuta blew hot air into his palms to emphasise his point.

Jungwoo hummed in agreement, hopping off the chair and gesturing to the toilets, "you head back in first. I need to use the bathroom, I'll be right back."

After watching Jungwoo waddle like an adorable penguin to the bathroom in his thick coat, he headed back into the pub and took an empty seat beside Doyoung. Doyoung wordlessly cocked an eyebrow at him, and left it like that as he continued being lovey dovey with Taeyong. Sicheng also seemed to notice his return but he didn't even make an effort to acknowledge his presence.

Yuta let his mind drift to Jungwoo's words earlier. _Was it really that easy to get someone they liked to date them?_ Jaehyun's name suddenly popped into his mind, the memory of that sinful act Yuta committed that fateful night with him flooding his mind and making another pang of guilt strike him straight in his heart.

He was so focused on his thoughts about Jungwoo that he completely turned a blind eye to Sicheng who was shooting suspicious glances at him every few seconds. He currently was all over Taeil, leaning much too close to him with his hands wandering all over the place. Taeil looked too drunk to push Sicheng away, instead reciprocating the affection by doing the same to him.

Yuta continued staring blankly at the table, his mind comparable to a heavy traffic junction of thoughts, oblivious to Sicheng's attempts in getting his attention. Sicheng even cleared his throat a couple of times, making a ruckus in his seat that even made Doyoung squint at him in confusion. Still, Yuta persisted on his staring contest with the table, as if that was a hundred times more interesting than the scandalous scene Sicheng was stirring up right in front of him.

Jungwoo returned a few minutes later, plopping down beside Yuta, and that was the only thing that could snap Yuta out of his daze and resume their hushed conversation. Sicheng witnessed this with despaired shock, his hands falling from Taeil's shoulders, an incredulous scoff escaping his lips. Taeil whined from the loss of contact and continued nuzzling his face in Sicheng's neck, receiving a whack on the chest in return.

"Since we're all here now, let's play a game!" Taeyong got up from Doyoung's lap, a stupid grin plastered on his face as he raised his glass of beer. "How about truth or dare, spin the bottle version?"

Taeyong didn't wait for their response before proceeding to position the bottle on the table, when Sicheng suddenly rose from his seat, the ear-splitting sound of wood scraping against the concrete floor making everyone's eyes fall on him.

"I s-suddenly remembered that I have to be home now. My... my mom wants me to be back early today, sorry guys, sorry Taeyong, we'll play spin the bottle another day..." his sentence faded into incoherent mumbles as he turned around and grabbed his jacket.

"Sicheng, is everything alright? I'll walk you back," Doyoung was already half out of his seat but Sicheng frantically shook his head.

"It's fine, Doyoung, I'll see you tomorrow," he placed a hand on Taeil's nape and squeezed it lightly, muttering in an affectionate tone, "I'll see you soon, Taeil."

Sicheng hurriedly rushed out of the scene, five pairs of eyes following his figure, unable to comprehend his behaviour. Taeyong slumped back on his seat in dejection, a mega pout on his lips that didn't go away until Doyoung openly kissed him.

Yuta was the only one still staring at the entrance to the pub long after Sicheng's departure, finally acknowledging Sicheng's presence after countless attempts to get his attention. He wanted to brush it off that Sicheng was just a little cranky that day, but with the combined suspicions from that same afternoon, Yuta was almost positive that something had happened over the course of the day to darken his mood like that.

"Yuta? You were saying something?" Jungwoo's hand on his forearm startled him, before he softened at the sight of Jungwoo's comforting smile coming into view.

Yuta reciprocated the smile, twisting his body so that he was no longer facing the doorway but instead Jungwoo, carrying on with their conversation with all thoughts of Sicheng thrown out of the window.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Yuta paced around his apartment listlessly, his hands wringing nervously and his head bustling with insecurities. The day after Sicheng acted so strangely was a weekend, so Yuta had no chance of questioning him at work, so he nervously texted Sicheng to _'come over, I have to talk to you'_.

He had this ominous feeling that he was the one behind Sicheng's shift of mood the day before as the man simply left his message on read, not even bothering to leave a reply of acknowledgement. Yuta was contemplating on giving up and going to find Sicheng himself when a soft knock on the door made his eyes brighten with hope.

Fumbling with the lock in his haste to open the door, he was met with a Sicheng who definitely looked much worse than yesterday. All traces of his lively and energetic personality were wiped clean, replaced by a deflated and sorrowful look that seemed out of place on a usually bright guy like Sicheng.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Yuta pulled him in immediately, looping an arm around his thin waist and cupping his jaw with his other hand. Sicheng kept his eyes fixed on the floor, avoiding Yuta's attempts to make them meet gazes.

"Look at me, Sicheng, please, it's my fault that I made you angry, right?" Yuta's affectionate tone seemed to break something in Sicheng as he unexplainably burst into tears, burying his face into Yuta's chest as he silently shook with sobs. Yuta gently held his head, smoothing down his hair, letting Sicheng cry it out on his shoulder.

"You-you're... going to break up with me, right?" Sicheng's timid voice emerged from Yuta's shoulder, his arms tightening their grip around Yuta's waist. Yuta puzzledly gaped at him, wondering what did he do to make Sicheng come to that conclusion?

" _What?_ No! Why would you think like that?" Yuta's sympathetic voice caused Sicheng to break out into another fit of sobs, his pitiful, muffled cries making Yuta's heart shatter into a million shards.

"I'm sorry I made you think like that, baby, I would never break up with you," Yuta continued mumbling sweet nothings into Sicheng's ear as he directed them to the couch, sitting down before allowing Sicheng to climb into his lap and continue cuddling him.

"I... I just- I don't know..." Sicheng hiccuped, letting the steady thumps of Yuta's heartbeat calm him down. "I was so scared, Yuta."

Yuta cooed at his innocent remark, wrapping his arms around Sicheng a little tighter, squishing his face into his chest. "I don't know what made you think that, but I'm sorry if I did anything misleading. I didn't mean to."

"No, I think I was overthinking it again... I thought you called me here today because you wanted to end our relationship," he sniffled, looking up at Yuta's face with wide, teary, puppy-like eyes. "I don't want to break up with you."

"Was this what you were so upset about yesterday?" Yuta asked and Sicheng nodded hastily, rubbing his eyes like a little baby.

"I... I was really happy about Doyoung and Taeyong coming out, but then I kind of envied them when they were basically glued together yesterday whereas you didn't do the same with me... maybe I was a little greedy?" Sicheng mumbled, bowing his head in embarrassment as he said the last sentence.

"Baby, _please_ , you're not-"

Sicheng didn't allow Yuta to finish his sentence before interjecting, his words steadily growing shakier and quicker. "And you kept talking to him, giving him all your attention, leaving me stuck with Taeil, not once looking at me-"

"Are you talking about Jungwoo?" Yuta grasped Sicheng's hands in his, trying to meet his gaze again. Sicheng stuck his bottom lip out, evidently upset, nodding at Yuta's guess.

Yuta sighed frustratingly, pulling Sicheng back into his arms again. The other returned the embrace a little hesitantly, his hands hanging awkwardly in midair instead of resting them on Yuta's back.

"There's nothing going on between Jungwoo and I," Yuta reassured confidently, rubbing small circles on Sicheng's back as he nuzzled his nose into the crook of his neck, his bangs tickling Sicheng's jaw. "We're just friends. I told you that he's going through a hard time, right? He just needs a little emotional support now. I'm sorry, baby, I'll try to be a better boyfriend from now on, alright?"

Sicheng couldn't hold back a smile after hearing Yuta's words, his prominent cheekbones digging into Yuta's shoulder, cheeks turning scarlet. He sat up straight, causing Yuta's arms to fall off him and pressed an abrupt kiss to Yuta's cheek, catching him by surprise.

Yuta's eyes widened, a contagious chuckle escaping his lips as he watched Sicheng flush a deeper red at the intimate action he just committed. He tapped the spot where Sicheng kissed, a knowing grin plastered on his face as he said, "one more time?"

Sicheng huffed stubbornly, a bashful grin still etched on his face as he leaned in again, only to be met with Yuta's lips as the latter suddenly turned his head in Sicheng's direction. Sicheng collapsed in shyness, his entire face positively red by now as Yuta hooted with laughter above him, fondly cooing at Sicheng with all the adjectives of 'cute' that existed on this planet.

Climbing over Yuta in revenge, Sicheng pinned the other down on the sofa as he attacked his lips with another passionate kiss, effectively silencing his laughs and making him submit to him. Their lips connected like two puzzle pieces fitting right together, moving against each other in a graceful motion, almost as if they were dancing. Sicheng's hands were tangled in Yuta's hair, yanking his head backwards so that he had full access to his lips. Yuta brought his hands up to hook around Sicheng's neck, using it to pull him down to deepen the kiss.

Sicheng emitted a squeal of surprise when Yuta bit down a bit too hard on his bottom lip, tightening his grip on Yuta's hair which made him see stars even with his eyes closed. Before he let himself get too lost in the pleasure, he disconnected their lips, their eyelids fluttering open as they gasped for air, faces flushed from the heat of the moment.

Yuta gazed at Sicheng's swollen bottom lip, a result of his excessive nibbling, before his eyes traveled up to see Sicheng mesmerised by his state, staring at him seriously. That elicited a silent giggle from him, Sicheng confusedly cocking his head at his unexplained laughter, amplifying his cuteness which made Yuta engulf him in his arms once again.

"I wish we could stay like this forever," Sicheng whispered into Yuta's ear after a short moment of silence between them as they simply cuddled, a hint of insecurity and desperation tinting his voice. "I love you a lot, Yuta."

Yuta's reply got muffled into the fabric of Sicheng's shirt, holding the man so tightly against him that Sicheng might or might not have trouble breathing.

Sicheng's arms felt like home- even if he unknowingly strayed away at times, at the end of the day, he'd always return back to his warm and comforting embrace to seek love and comfort, and nothing was going to change that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well,,, i would've loved to continue with that heated yuwin scene at the end but ^^ since i have to keep this sfw ^^ i'll leave it to your imaginations ^^
> 
> anticipate more sappy dotae for the rest of the fic xD


	8. 瞎

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **瞎(xiā):** sometimes we bury ourselves too deep in our own problems to notice that others are having a harder time than us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [no_longer.mp3](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psKh9DxV1So)
> 
>  
> 
> tw: verbal and (some) physical fighting

As much as Yuta meant the words he said to Sicheng that day, the bare sight of Jungwoo was enough to send his mind into haywire and knock out any intruding thoughts about staying true to his promise.

The six of them began meeting up more often, at first just for drinks, but after a night where they strayed from their regular pub to go to a hole-in-the-wall restaurant for dinner and no drinks, Yuta came to the realisation that all of them were indeed friends.

Almost all of the time, Taeyong and Doyoung would be all over each other, unable to be separated, like two happy peas in a pod. Taeil, unlike Yuta's initial impression of him, was actually a loud dork that absolutely loved bickering with Sicheng and teasing him, causing them to be the loudest pair out of the group. Jungwoo would naturally scoot over to Yuta with an angelic smile, strike up some conversation with him that needn't necessarily be related to soulmates, and Yuta would helplessly fall into his trap of stealing his attention.

Things were going fairly well, to say the least- Yuta and Sicheng did have their own private time, usually weekend nights spent cuddled under the covers together, packets of junk food littering the floor and a random Disney movie on the television for background noise. But as the days passed, relaxing nights like those were becoming more and more rare, most of the time due to Sicheng's schedule. _"My mom wants me home early today"_ and _"I feel really tired today, not up for it"_ became the two most common excuses Yuta had to hear the moment Friday night rolled over. He had a nasty feeling that Sicheng might've been lying to him on a few occasions, but since relationships are built on a high level of mutual trust, who was Yuta to interfere with Sicheng's private life?

On the other hand, meetups with Jungwoo were becoming increasingly frequent. Drinking pushed aside, the man often texted Yuta if he wanted to hang out like normal friends, and Yuta more than enjoyed his late-night adventures with the silver-haired man. From cycling along the Han River and eating instant noodles under the twinkling night sky, to getting lost in networks of the brightly-lit streets of various night markets while stuffing their faces with endless street food, Yuta finally felt like he was alive.

However, it seemed like he was the only one who thought so.

It was another lazy night; the two couples were settled cozily in Doyoung and Taeyong's apartment for a movie night. None of them wanted to watch anything in particular, so they just turned on the television and hoped that whatever was currently showing would be sufficient.

Unfortunately, all the channels were screening old reruns of boring Chrismassy romance films, nothing that the four of them were interested in. Taeyong sandwiched himself between the back of the couch and Doyoung's body, promptly falling asleep the moment his head touched Doyoung's chest, his arm loosely wrapped around his stomach. Sicheng sunk in the beanbag at the corner of the living room, too busy texting someone to pay attention to what movie was playing on the TV. Yuta frowned in mild hurt that Sicheng blatantly ignored his invitation to join him on the armchair, resigning to the kitchen to grab himself a glass of water when the two main protagonists on the screen denied their feelings for each other the third time in a row.

He sat on one of the kitchen stools facing the fridge, his angle still allowing him to see Sicheng's distracted appearance. He was still absorbed in texting, blocking out the sounds from the TV, a shy grin etched on his face as his fingers danced around his phone screen. Yuta let a disappointed sigh leave his lips. _Who could Sicheng be texting that took up all of his attention, leaving none left for Yuta?_

Yuta contemplated going up to him and asking him to put his phone down, but that would make him sound like a jealous, attention-seeking whore, so he just frowned dejectedly as he stared at the bottom of his empty cup. He did feel immensely jealous, of course- today was one of the free days amidst Sicheng's reportedly 'busy schedule', and if not for the fact that Taeyong suggested the four of them hung out together, Yuta would've been snuggled up against Sicheng, having private time to themselves.

And here they were, Yuta gazing forlornly at Sicheng, the latter's physical presence in his sight but his mind had drifted someplace far and unreachable.

"Is something the matter?"

Doyoung's presence entering the kitchen startled Yuta, making his eyes snap up at him. It was only then did he register that the TV had been turned off, but Sicheng didn't look like he had budged an inch from his seat. Doyoung sat down on the stool beside Yuta, his eyes not leaving Yuta's gloomy expression.

"How did you get out of Taeyong's iron-like grip without waking him up?" Yuta chuckled, trying to lift the heavy mood that had fallen upon them.

"I just replaced myself with a pillow. Apparently I'm just as comfortable as one, he couldn't tell the difference at all," Doyoung shrugged, his suspicious eyes scanning Yuta up and down. A moment of silence elapsed, before, "something's on your mind, isn't it?"

Yuta's eyes cautiously flitted up to meet Doyoung's gaze. His wide eyes were filled with a sense of comfortableness that made Yuta deflate at once and nod defeatedly.

"It's been a long time since the two of us talked like this, go on, spill," Doyoung commented lightly. "Tell me what's bothering you."

"It's... Sicheng," Yuta sighed, peeping at Sicheng who hadn't moved for the past half an hour by now. "I know I sound like a jealous bitch but... he keeps texting someone and I don't like it."

Doyoung's body stiffened at Yuta's confession, finally breaking his worried stare at him. "Don't you realise that you and Sicheng have been pretty distant recently?" He asked vaguely.

"I know. He keeps telling me that he's busy. I know I should believe him, but I don't," Yuta frustratingly combed a hand through his hair.

"Then why don't you ask him?"

"I don't want to come off as jealous. Although I definitely am, but... I don't want him to get the wrong message," Yuta wrapped his arms around his knees, shrinking into his tall form.

"I think what you're doing is already giving him the wrong message," Doyoung interjected and Yuta looked at him in confusion. He took a long sigh before continuing, "you've been hanging out a lot with Jungwoo."

Yuta flinched in his seat, his surprised eyebrows shooting up behind his bangs as his eyes widened. "How did you know?"

Doyoung shot him an incredulous look, stating matter-of-factly, "I'm friends with Jungwoo as well, for your information. All he talks about when we meet up is the things you and him do together when you're out."

Yuta bowed his head in realisation, but raised it again when another burning question rose. "What has Jungwoo and I hanging out got to do with sending the wrong message to Sicheng?"

Doyoung's disbelieving stare emphasised after hearing Yuta's question. It took all his energy to not roll his eyes right in front of his oblivious friend, who seriously didn't seem to get what he was hinting at.

"Don't you think Sicheng might feel jealous that you're hanging out with Jungwoo more than with him?" Doyoung offered exasperatedly.

"But Jungwoo and I are just friends? Nothing's going on between us?" Yuta's eyebrows furrowed. "Plus, he called it upon himself. If he didn't decline my invitations to spend time together, I wouldn't be spending that time with Jungwoo."

Doyoung pinched the skin between his eyes as he felt an oncoming wave of pain crash through his forehead. _Why was Yuta so shallow?!_

"I... have no words," Doyoung gave up, slumping in his chair. "Yuta, I'm going to be brutally honest with you. Listen to me and stop thinking about you and yourself only. Think about what Sicheng might have felt or might be feeling. I think you'll find your answers from that point onwards."

Leaving Yuta lost in his own confusion, Doyoung was about to get up from his seat when Yuta called him back for another question again.

"Is Taeyong... fine with you meeting Jungwoo now?"

Doyoung visibly brightened at the mention of Taeyong, the creases on his forehead disappearing as a fond smile spread out on his face. "Of course he's fine with it. Why do you ask?"

"I mean... according to what Jungwoo told me last time, Taeyong was everything but fine when you went out to meet him, so..." Yuta trailed off, unsure of how to end his sentence.

"Taeyong and I already talked about this. Last time, he was afraid that he'd lose me anytime because I wasn't his yet. But we agreed to trust each other from now on. He trusts that I won't do any stupid things with Jungwoo, and I do the same," Doyoung proudly replied.

The frown on Yuta's face deepened when he heard Doyoung's reply to him. Sicheng and him were also in a relationship, but why was it that Yuta couldn't trust him one bit? Was it because of Sicheng's friendly nature that made people open up to him easily? Was it because of Yuta's observant personality that made him over-analyse situations?

"You don't trust Sicheng, do you, Yuta?" Doyoung's hushed voice broke his moment of self-doubt. Yuta confirmed it with a slight bob of his head, making Doyoung continue, "just talk it out with him. Tell him how you feel, and he'll tell you how he feels as well. Clear up any misunderstandings and suspicions, and you'll be fine, Yuta, really."

Maybe it was the way Doyoung's soothing voice seemed to fill him with a sense of certainty and determination, but at that instant, Yuta believed that everything would go just as well as Doyoung predicted it would be.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Whatever Doyoung told him was much easier said than done.

After that night, it was almost as if Sicheng had floated out of Yuta's grasp, into some unknown faraway land that Yuta was denied access into. It was nearly impossible to spend time with him outside the office- his mornings, lunch breaks and evenings were all mysteriously occupied.

Sicheng himself seemed to give up thinking of more creative excuses and resorted to silent shrugs or head shakes when Yuta had asked him if he was up for a night together. Yuta being Yuta, decided that two could play at this game, and began spending even more time with Jungwoo as a sort of spiteful revenge.

"That's funny. Taeil seems to be disappearing a lot more these days too," Jungwoo hummed dismissively during one of their many meetups. They had just finished a round of basketball and were lying side by side on picnic mats, watching the night clouds and stars drift over their heads.

" _What?_ " Yuta shot up from his position at Jungwoo's comment. "Are you saying that..."

Jungwoo shrugged, not taking the situation as seriously as Yuta himself. "It's a possibility. You've seen how close the two of them are whenever the six of us are out together."

"I mean, yeah, they do look pretty close, but..." Yuta said worriedly, the realisation dawning over him quickly. "To think that Sicheng is spending all his time with _Taeil?_ Not _me?_ Taeil isn't even his fucking _boyfriend!_ "

Jungwoo rolled over to look at him, his calm smile contrasting with Yuta's distressed expression. "We're not boyfriends either. But we sure are spending a lot of time together," he stated suggestively, and Yuta eyed him distrustfully.

"We're... we're different..." Yuta tried convincing himself, but he was also growing increasingly doubtful by the moment. "We're good friends. Who hang out because we're lonely idiots who got abandoned."

A hearty chuckle came from Jungwoo's direction. "I suppose you're right," he stood up, dusting the specks of grass off his clothes. "But that doesn't mean you shouldn't talk to either Sicheng or Taeil about this. Living in suspicion isn't good."

Jungwoo offered a hand to Yuta to pull him up, a wide and contagious grin etched on his face. Yuta had a speedy flashback to all those weeks ago, unable to believe that the Jungwoo weeping uncontrollably at his broken heart was the same cheerful Jungwoo that was radiating happiness above him.

"Come on, are you going to get up or not?" Jungwoo embarrassingly retreated his hand, tucking it in the crease of his elbow as he folded his arms impatiently. "I'm starving. Last one to the convenience store pays for our food!"

His distinctive laughter echoing in the empty park, Jungwoo sprinted to the convenience store, flailing his limbs ungracefully, managing to squeeze out a minute but genuine smile out of Yuta's concerned expression.

Yuta had already made up his mind- he wasn't going to talk to Sicheng although he was much closer to him than Taeil. He wasn't going to let his suppressed feelings get in the way, thus settling it with Taeil sounded like the more ideal way to clear things up.

Fortunately for Yuta, Doyoung had organised a night out for all of them to drink a few days later, landing him an opportunity to talk to Taeil. Yuta knew his predictions were correct when he basically had to unwrap Sicheng off Taeil in order to bring him to somewhere more silent and private. Jungwoo flashed him a subtle thumbs up once he succeeded, taking Taeil's place and entertaining Sicheng in the meantime as he whined over his loss.

Taeil remained uncharacteristically quiet as Yuta led them out of the club and into the dim, scarcely-populated streets where they walked aimlessly. The tension between them was thick enough to slice with a knife, increasing in width for every minute that passed without a single word being said.

"I think you know why I needed to talk to you," Yuta's sharp words sliced the deafening silence. Taeil offered a curt snort in response, fully offending Yuta as he stopped in his tracks to glare at the shorter man beside him.

"About fucking time. Let's see how many weeks it's been..." he thought for a moment, returning Yuta's glare with just as much distaste. "Six. It's been six weeks since this has started."

"Since _what_ has started? You running off with Sicheng to god knows what wonderland you go to every single day?" Yuta fired back, a slight twist of hesitance present in his tone as he didn't expect Taeil to be this harsh with him.

"That's right," he mockingly replied. "You've chosen to stay quiet about this for six fucking weeks. Want to know how Sicheng felt?"

Yuta felt the temperature of his blood rising to a boil, turning his face red. "Want to know how _I_ felt? Watching the person who means the most to me slowly dissipate from my life because of you?"

"Oh _please_ ," Taeil sniggered, rolling his eyes so hard that they hit the back of his head. "Don't fuck with me. _'Person who means the most to you'?_ You've been ignoring all his feelings this entire time! Stop acting like you care about Sicheng when you don't give a shit!"

"Who are you to tell me that I don't give a shit about Sicheng, huh?" Yuta took a step closer, staring Taeil down, using his height as an advantage. He could finally feel what it was like to be in Johnny's position after countless of arguments with him.

"I'm the person he goes to to pour out all his feelings, worries, concerns, whatever, because you obviously don't care!" Taeil seemed unaffected, instead filling his words with twice the amount of loathe to compensate for it. "Surprise! Your boyfriend has feelings as well, if your shallow ass brain didn't know! You're not the only person living on this god damned forsaken world, so it's time to pull your head out of your fucking ass!"

Figurative steam was shooting out of Yuta's ears at this point, his blood had long reached boiling point and was bubbling in his head, on the verge of exploding. "How about you learn to be fucking loyal to yourself and not steal my boyfriend away from me?! It's your fault, your leading on that made him like this!" Yuta shot back, beads of spit flying out of his mouth at the intensity of his words.

"Oh, so we're playing the blame game now, are we?" Taeil uttered softly but dangerously, inching closer to Yuta. "Why bother starting something you know you won't win at?"

"Are you trying to say that it's my fault that Sicheng is distancing himself from me?!" Yuta reciprocated the stare, his jaw clenched tight, trembling fists ready to fly anytime. "He's my fucking boyfriend, not yours. I've known him much longer than you have, so maybe you should just shut the fuck up, apologise and return what you've stolen instead of making me look like the culprit here."

"You think I'm just going to back down like this? You think I'm scared of you just because you're Sicheng's boyfriend and that you've known him longer than I have? Well Yuta, I'll tell you simply- I'm not fazed the slightest bit. I'm going to knock all the sense that you've never had into you." Taeil grabbed Yuta's collar and yanked his face closer to his, his voice reduced to a menacing mutter.

"Because from what I've seen and heard, you seem to be taking a rather obvious interest in my flatmate. I know how long this has been going on, Yuta, Jungwoo talks about you more than you ever talk about Sicheng. But of course, you think the whole fucking world revolves around you- expecting Sicheng to believe your stupid lies, expecting him to be okay with whatever you and Jungwoo are doing behind his back, expecting him to not feel any sense of jealousy when he's practically drowning in it!" Taeil fumed, his fist tightening around the fabric of Yuta's shirt, his jawline becoming more prominent as he clenched his teeth tighter. Yuta remained still, partially because he admittedly was pretty shaken, but also because he didn't have any points to defend himself with.

"Do you know how big of a cunt you are? I'm pretty sure you don't, considering your empty head's just filled with hot air. Sicheng's the purest, most innocent, most optimistic guy I've ever met, and you take advantage of this fact to manipulate him into liking you back just because you liked him first. Don't think I'm stupid, Yuta, I'm not a psychologist for nothing. I've seen the way you act around him. I've heard the things you've said to him. Sicheng tells me more than I need to know. Even a blind person would be able to tell that your relationship is toxic. You disgust me entirely, Yuta," Taeil finally released his grip, almost flinging Yuta away from him as his chest heaved, taking a breather from his long but impactful sentences he just spat at Yuta. Yuta glared at Taeil in plain offense, a disbelieved laugh escaping his throat, the fists by his side growing increasingly fidgety as Taeil stepped closer to him again.

"So you tell me. Isn't it natural for a person to seek the comfort of someone who actually listens to them and empathises with them, instead of someone who manipulates their feelings and abandons them once they find someone better? And you still think it's my fault!" Taeil threw his head back and cackled loudly, his spine-chilling laugh echoing in the empty streets.

"It's obviously because you haven't been in Sicheng's position before, right? Falling in love with someone who forced you into doing so? Losing them once you finally realise your feelings are genuine? Getting abandoned by them just because they don't give a single fuck about you anymore?"

As Taeil continued yelling frustratingly, Yuta stood there in silence, his right eye twitching, the dangerous aura encircling him getting darker and darker. Taeil only knew about Sicheng and nothing before that. Taeil didn't know about Jaehyun. Taeil didn't know about the things Jaehyun did to him, the traps he fell prey to, making him relate to the endless bullshit that was falling from his mouth as he yapped away.

The anger erupting out of him like an exploding volcano, Yuta's fist seemed to work on its own as it lifted itself to punch the corner of Taeil's lips, effectively killing two birds with one stone as he fell to the ground, as well as shut his annoying mouth up. Taeil winced in pain, clutching the side of his face as he used his other hand to get back up on his feet and swing an aimless punch at Yuta to which he dodged easily.

Taking advantage of his minor injury, Yuta swung another punch at Taeil's face, this time hitting him square on the jaw. Yuta was blinded by his fury, his fists unable to control themselves as they continued flying forward to disfigure Taeil's face. Taeil could do nothing to defend himself but to bring his arms up to block the punches, groaning from the pulsating pain coming from the areas in which Yuta managed to hit.

"Yuta! Stop!" Jungwoo's panicked voice suddenly emerged from the darkness, the thump of his footsteps getting louder as he grew closer. That seemed to act as a wake up call for Yuta, who immediately froze in his position until Jungwoo ran up to them and stood in between them, facing Taeil.

"Oh my _god_ ," Jungwoo's grimace was all the reaction Taeil needed to know how badly Yuta had fucked his face up. "I'll... I'll take you home and clean you up, okay? Text Sicheng that you're okay. Well, I mean, you're not okay but the guy is really _freaking out_ right now," Jungwoo sighed, placing a comforting hand on Taeil's shoulder before turning around to look at Yuta.

"I'm disappointed, Yuta. I trusted that you'd be mature about this, but I guess that empty head still needs some sense to be knocked in," Jungwoo shook his head, wrapped an arm around Taeil's shoulder and started walking away.

"Just you wait, you fucker," Taeil's bitter voice called back. "If you're still so stubborn and insist that you're right, just you wait."

Jungwoo nudged Taeil's side, making him turn his head back and focus on walking home, leaving Yuta alone along the cold, empty streets with a wounded fist and a truckload of regret tumbling onto him at once.

He knew he had fucked up, but it was already too late to change things now.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

When Sicheng texted him the next day to meet him at the nearby park although it was nearing midnight, Yuta knew that something bad was going to happen.

The guy was sitting on the swingset at the playground when Yuta found him, kicking the sand under his feet, scattering them across the sandy playground. Sicheng's eyes snapped up when he heard Yuta's heavy footsteps trudging towards him, his gaze never leaving him even as Yuta sat down on the swing beside him.

Yuta tried to calm the butterflies in his stomach that were flapping their wings crazily, growing in number as Sicheng broke his stare and continued kicking the sand as though Yuta wasn't there. He remained as silent as a mouse, his body fidgeting uneasily at the uncomfortable silence between them. Finally, after what seemed like years of waiting, Sicheng opened his mouth.

"You hurt Taeil," he monotonously stated. It didn't sound like a question, it didn't sound like he was mad, but it didn't sound like he was amused either. And that scared Yuta _terribly_ \- the Sicheng who he used to be able to read without doubt had transformed into this unpredictable creature.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't know what I was doing," Yuta replied truthfully. Sicheng exhaled loudly, frustratingly digging his heel into the pit of sand.

"Did you see him? He had a black eye, a bloodied lip, a bruised jaw," Sicheng continued, ignoring Yuta's reply. "He even had to skip work today because of how... horrifying he looked. I can't believe you did this, Yuta. I can't believe that you're this kind of person."

Sicheng's cold words were blunt knives rammed into his aching heart, serving as a harsh reminder of the words Taeil had hurled to him before Yuta punched the living life out of him. In front of Taeil, he was a beast- invincible, fearless and ready to fight any second; but in front of Sicheng, he was a little puppy- sensitive, vulnerable and afraid that he'd say the wrong things at the wrong time.

"I suppose you know why I called you out here today," Sicheng stopped moving his swing. "I can't be in this relationship with you any longer."

Yuta's jaw dropped as his pupils quivered, frantically searching Sicheng's eyes to find any traces that he was joking. He got up from his swing and stood in front of Sicheng, making the other mirror his action, his head tilted to the side as he waited for Yuta's response.

"Sicheng, I-" Yuta stuttered, bringing his hands up to lightly hold Sicheng's arms. "I... I know I did things wrongly, but I know my mistakes now and I can change, please, please don't do this."

Sicheng wriggled Yuta's hands off his arms, clicking his tongue in annoyance. "You're gonna change? You're gonna stop whatever you're doing with Jungwoo? You're gonna finally pay attention to me?"

"Yes, yes, I will..." Yuta felt his dignity ebb away as he pleaded Sicheng, his body trembling from shock and desperation.

"Hmm... I think it's a little too late for that. I've found someone else who I know I can trust and I'm sure that he loves me more than you ever loved me," Sicheng sneered, still maintaining his cool although Yuta appeared to be falling apart right before his eyes.

"Sicheng... I can be a better boyfriend than Taeil, I know I was selfish and ignorant, but I'll change for you, I'll do anything for you, please..." Yuta's voice cracked, his head lowering in shame.

"If you can do anything for me, then you should be able to let me go," he replied nonchalantly. "Besides, you already have Jungwoo, why are you so worked up over keeping me? You want to have two boyfriends?"

"Jungwoo's _not_ my boyfriend! How many times must I say that!" Yuta snapped, stomping his foot on the sandy floor. "We're just friends who hang out together and do what friends do! It's you who's been doing monkey business with Taeil behind my back!"

" _You're_ the one who turned your back on me in the first place!" Sicheng argued. Yuta's eyes widened at the sight of an angry Sicheng in front of him- it was a first, the guy was always so happy-go-lucky that Yuta thought he was incapable of feeling anger. Guess he was wrong.

"And I'm not doing monkey business with Taeil! Do you call relationship counselling and getting emotional support _'monkey business'_? You're insane, Yuta!" Sicheng hollered and Yuta instinctively took a step back in genuine fear.

"Sicheng, I'm sorry I-"

"I'm not done! You better listen to all that I have to say after months of ignoring my feelings!" He interrupted, gritting his teeth as he continued. "How can I be so sure that you're not lying when you say that nothing's going on between you and Jungwoo? I've had enough of your lies that I don't _trust_ a single thing you say anymore!"

Yuta gulped, the thin red string connecting them suddenly becoming more prominent. _How was he going to tell Sicheng that him and Jungwoo were able to see the strings, making them click quickly and becoming fast friends?_

"Jungwoo and I are... special friends," he settled for that, in which Sicheng responded with a snort.

"Look, Sicheng, I'm not that terrible of a person to abandon my boyfriend for a stranger I met one day while drinking. Jungwoo... has his own interest in someone else," the last part came out as a lie. Yuta knew that Jungwoo had long gotten over Doyoung, but he still included that to make his point a little more convincing.

Sicheng stared at him in disbelief, his lips parting slightly, giving Yuta full view of his clenched teeth. Fire was set ablaze in his eyes, burning brightly as his stare bore holes in Yuta's face.

"Do you ever _think_ about what you say before your words come out of your mouth?!" Sicheng yelled, much louder than before. "You just implied that _I'm_ a terrible person for abandoning _you_ after meeting Taeil. What a way to try to get me not to break up with you, right?"

Yuta gasped inaudibly, realising the hidden meaning behind his words much too late. He contemplated slapping himself right there and then, but Sicheng's words cut him off again.

"And I didn't know _'special friends'_ was synonymous to _'boyfriends'!_ I guess we learn something new everyday, don't we?" Sicheng's cheerful tone would be a normality on any other day, but in this situation, Yuta was more than terrified at his sarcasm.

"If you think I'm dumb and blind and deaf, which you probably do, I'm not," Sicheng folded his arms, tapping his foot impatiently. "I saw you and Jungwoo holding hands outside the pub that day. You even told him that _'it's okay, I don't mind'_. And you still have the audacity to tell me that you're not dating him?!"

Yuta's lips were trembling too much to form coherent words to defend himself. His mind took him back to the day in which it happened. Jungwoo looked too pitiful and broken, so Yuta thought that holding his hand would be a way to comfort him, but now that he thought about it, it seemed incredibly stupid and misleading. So apparently Sicheng was the shadow he saw that day that disappeared behind quickly.

"You even _ignored_ me when I tried to make you jealous by flirting with Taeil! Thinking too much about your bloody Jungwoo, were you not? I was _right in front_ of you, yet you could only see _him!_ "

Yuta was close to tears at this point, burying his head in his palms as he tried to fight back the urge to start sobbing in front of Sicheng, implying that he would admit to the mistakes that he made.

"You wanna know something? I know who Jaehyun is," Sicheng's yells softened to a whisper, making Yuta's head shoot out of his hands, staring at his face with wide, glossy eyes. "Johnny told me about him. I know he was your ex-boyfriend. I know he broke it off with you. I know he tried to get back with you but failed because you said you had someone else in mind."

Yuta held his breath, afraid of whatever was going to come next. If it involved Johnny, something bad was bound to happen.

"You know what Johnny said to me? He said that _you_ started dating _me_ just to spite Jaehyun because _you_ didn't want to get back together with _him_ ," Sicheng emphasised on all the pronouns, jabbing Yuta with his index finger everytime he said _'you'_.

"Wh-Where did you get that conclusion from?" Yuta asked exasperatedly, his legs trembling so much that he had to support himself on the pole of the swingset. "You know how Johnny is. You can't believe a single word that comes out of his mouth."

"It's not like I can believe a word that comes out of your mouth after what I've been told," Sicheng shrugged, before squaring his shoulders and breathing a long sigh.

"I think you get my point now. I've been tricked into a relationship with you, and I can't bear to continue putting up with your deceiving shit," Sicheng shot one last glare at Yuta. "Now I know why Jaehyun broke up with you. Thanks for all the trouble you've added on to my life, Yuta, good _fucking_ bye."

Yuta's lips parted in an attempt to call Sicheng back, but only a choked sob fell out once Sicheng's back was turned on him as he continued into the darkness. Yuta watched in helplessness as the string connecting them grew longer and longer, finally disappearing into thin air once Sicheng was out of his sight.

Yuta let his knees give way as he fell to the ground, tears pouring out of his eyes like a broken faucet. The string that he'd believed would prevent Sicheng and him from separating seemed just as redundant as the day he'd acquired the ability to see them.

So he had been right all along. The red strings meant nothing- the person you were connected to physically didn't define who you would end up loving in the end. The joys of having a soulmate were all fabricated; the idea was just created out of the greed and selfishness of the human mind.

Screaming out of frustration past midnight in an empty park didn't help Yuta in expelling out all the anger at himself at all. Yanking the string as hard as he could, he used all his strength to separate it from his pinky, but it seemed as though it was made out of metal and wouldn't come off no matter how hard he pulled. Giving up when his pinky was stained with ugly red lines from the force in which he tried pulling the string off, he sat on the sandy floor of the playground in silence, all his wrongdoings hovering over him like a black cloud, haunting him even as he curled up into a tight ball, convulsing with newfound sobs.

In just a span of two days, he managed to beat up his friend's face, make one of his closest friends get annoyed at him and get dumped by his boyfriend. All because of his own selfishness and stubbornness.

_To say that he fucked up real bad was a huge understatement._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well,, yuwin nation,, i'm terribly sorry
> 
> on another note although there's only 3 chapters left, updates will be kinda slower since i've started work and that takes up a lot of my time so,, please be patient >.<


	9. 旧

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **旧(jiù):** nothing hurts more than dark pasts repeating themselves.

"Yuta, this is my friend, Jaehyun. We met while I was studying in America. Jaehyun, this is Yuta, my colleague."

Jaehyun tentatively met Yuta's gaze with shy eyes, meekly sticking out a hand for him to shake. Yuta accepted it gratefully, his warm smile making Jaehyun feel a little more comfortable.

"The two of you look great together. I'm sure this will go well," Johnny chuckled, patting both of their backs before exiting the cafe.

Jaehyun remained relatively quiet throughout their meetup, only talking when Yuta asked him questions. When Yuta questioned if anything was wrong, Jaehyun shook his head and bashfully admitted, "I'm just shy when meeting new people. And Yuta... you're really, really handsome."

That seemed to flip a switch in Yuta's heart as he started finding the little things that Jaehyun did extremely adorable. The way his tongue stuck out to lick the cream off his lips, the way his slender fingers fiddled with the handle of the cup, the way his pretty eyelashes fluttered when he blinked. By the end of their first meeting, Yuta already couldn't wait for the second.

The more dates Yuta went on with Jaehyun, the more he opened up to him, the more daring Jaehyun became in flirting with him. They were off to hand-holding on the third date, cuddling on the fourth, kissing on the fifth... the list went on. And every single thing Jaehyun did made Yuta helplessly fall in love with him even more.

By the time Jaehyun asked Yuta on their seventh date if he would like to be his boyfriend, Yuta was pretty much too blinded by love to say no. He agreed feverishly, completely submitting himself to Jaehyun as he let him control him, creating one of the most memorable nights Yuta has ever had.

The first few weeks of being boyfriends were all fun and games- Yuta and Jaehyun went on dates almost every night, sometimes joined by Taeyong and Doyoung and on rare occasions, Johnny. Yuta slept at Jaehyun's place more than at his own, cuddling each other to sleep at night. Yuta never felt this loved, ever, in his life, so he thought of Jaehyun as some sort of god and practically worshipped him, doing everything he asked him to.

It was only the third month into their relationship did Yuta start to notice something queer. Jaehyun stopped allowing Yuta to latch onto his arm everytime they walked along the streets together, refusing to hold his hand as well. The Jaehyun who would usually give Yuta the better portion of their shared meals was replaced with a Jaehyun who snagged the best parts of dishes for himself. Their nights together were also becoming more boring; Jaehyun was more focused on going to sleep than cuddling with Yuta, always leaving the latter hanging and disappointed.

From that point, everything just got worse. Arguments started becoming a part of their daily routine. Affection was almost non-existent between them as Jaehyun would refuse every single kiss or hug that Yuta attempted. At certain points, Jaehyun would disappear for days, not responding to Yuta's texts or calls, and acting as if nothing happened when he came back to Yuta worried sick about his whereabouts.

Everyone around them told Yuta that their relationship was toxic- Taeyong, Doyoung, and even Johnny himself was disapproving about the direction that they were heading. But Yuta was too desperately in love with Jaehyun to take any of their words to heart, clinging onto the fact that Jaehyun hadn't said anything about breaking up, assuming that he still wanted to be in this relationship.

So that was how _it_ happened. It was one of the extremely rare nights that Jaehyun allowed Yuta to stay over at his place for the night. They had ended the day on a bad note, Jaehyun starting an argument with Yuta about him using too much of his expensive shampoo when he showered. It was the littlest of things, but Jaehyun never failed to make a mountain out of a molehill.

Jaehyun had went to sleep promptly after he made it clear that he won the argument, scoffing at Yuta's suggestion to cuddle and talk things through. Maybe it was because Yuta had a bad day himself, but as soon as Jaehyun drifted off to sleep, Yuta walked out of the bedroom and into the living room, tears spilling endlessly onto his cheeks.

It was only then did he actually sit down and think about what his and Jaehyun's relationship had reduced to. Yuta was clearly suffering, but Jaehyun didn't seem to care a single bit about his thoughts and feelings. Everytime he wanted to talk about things with Jaehyun, the latter would always brush him off, convincing him that it wasn't important. It didn't help that Yuta was so helplessly in love with Jaehyun, only seeing the good out of all the bad things he committed.

Yuta racked his brains even though it was the dead of the night, thinking of a way to fix his relationship with Jaehyun in the fastest way possible. When the clock struck two, he was about to give up and call it a day when the red string around his pinky shuffled about, as if it was alerting Yuta of its presence.

Yuta stared at the string blankly for a few moments, the hazy idea that popped up in his head growing clearer and clearer, until he finally realised what he needed to do.

Jaehyun was connected to his own soulmate, which wasn't Yuta. That was probably the reason why he was acting so distant, because maybe he had found his soulmate, fallen in love at first sight with them and abandoned Yuta for them?

The nagging voice in Yuta's head reminded him that soulmates didn't exist and the red string was redundant. But there didn't seem to be any other reason than the one Yuta had just come up with, so he was a hundred percent sure that his predictions were correct.

Which meant that the only way to get Jaehyun's attention back would be to cut him off from his soulmate and tie the stray string to Yuta's.

Yuta fumbled around as quietly as he could for a pair of scissors, before he froze in horror. _How was he so sure that Jaehyun would completely forget about his soulmate and return to Yuta if he were to cut it and retie it?_ Sure, there was that possibility, but Yuta's pessimistic mind never failed to swerve in the wrong direction.

 _What if Jaehyun's behaviour became even worse if Yuta connected the both of them together, maybe even going as far as breaking up with him, since soulmates after all aren't as joyful as everyone thinks of them to be? What if nothing changed even after Yuta cut and retie their strings together?_ Not only would he rid Jaehyun of his former soulmate, but Yuta's soulmate would be lost as well.

Yuta shook his head feverishly, not allowing his thoughts to continue heading in that direction. Trying his best to push all of the insecure thoughts to the back of his head, Yuta found a pair of scissors in one of the drawers under the television. He silently approached the bedroom again, holding the scissors with trembling hands as if it was toxic and poisonous.

Jaehyun was completely unaware of Yuta pacing up to him and sitting on the corner of the bed, comfortably snuggled in his covers, fast asleep. His arms were wrapped around a pillow that he hugged to sleep, making Yuta sigh heavily at the days that Jaehyun used to use Yuta as a pillow to hug instead.

He leaned forward and pried Jaehyun's left hand from the pillow, gazing at his string for a few moments. Jaehyun's string didn't have a knot at all- it was just a simple loop around his pinky and the string continued on from there.

Yuta took a deep breath and got the scissors in his hand ready. The voices in his head were coming back at full force, creating a chaotic atmosphere in Yuta's head, preventing him from thinking clearly as he pinched Jaehyun's string with his left hand and positioned it between the blades of the scissors.

_Soulmates are useless, Yuta, why are you even bothering to make Jaehyun your soulmate when you know he's not going to see you in a different light after that?_

_The red string is redundant, Yuta, Jaehyun's not going to suddenly come back to you the moment you connect yourself to him. What do you think this is, some black magic?_

_Cutting Jaehyun off from his soulmate isn't going to solve things, Yuta, he's going to continue pushing you away and ignoring you and rejecting you and-_

"Shut _up_!" Yuta shouted, the scissors noisily clattering to the floor as he brought both his hands up to wrap around his head. The voices seemed to disappear immediately, but Jaehyun was already beginning to stir in his sleep. All it took was a few seconds for him to properly open his eyes and furrow his eyebrows in confusion at what had happened.

"Yuta... what's going on? Why did you just shout?" Jaehyun's low and husky sleep-ridden voice would turn Yuta on on any other day, but at that moment, it just made him realise how terrible of a person he had just been.

Due to his slip up, he wasn't able to cut off Jaehyun's string completely, instead only snipping off a few fibres instead. Jaehyun's string now hung precariously from his pinky, only a handful of red fibres left to keep it from snapping.

This was ten times worse than what Yuta had expected. Since he didn't cut off Jaehyun's string in the end, did that mean that nothing was going to happen? Or did he trigger something that was totally out of his expectations? Jaehyun continued looking at him in confusion as he remained silent, his expression growing more and more annoyed with each passing second.

"Yuta? What's wrong with you? Don't you know that it's like, two in the morning and I'm trying to sleep here?" Jaehyun scowled, reaching over to grab the pillow that had fell to the floor after it escaped his grasp. Yuta watched in nervousness as the extremely thin string moved around animatedly, afraid that it would snap any moment even though it would be impossible- the string would never be able to break unless an observer cleanly cut it off.

"Why is there a pair of scissors here?" Jaehyun retrieved the weapon from the floor as he picked up his pillow, narrowing his eyes at the culprit. His voice lowered into a dangerous whisper, "fuck, Yuta, were you trying to _murder_ me?"

"N-No! I swear I wasn't!" Yuta defended, taking a step back and raising his two arms in the air. "I... I was just trying to cut off some stray thread of fabric but I got distracted and my hand slipped. I would never even think of m-murdering you, Jaehyun, please," he begged, his voice teetering on the edge of desperation.

Jaehyun set the scissors on his bedside table, his suspicious eyes never leaving Yuta's panicked form. "Get out of my room," he demanded in a menacing tone.

"B-But... I said-"

"I said get _out_ of my room!" Jaehyun bellowed, pointing in the direction of his door. Yuta scampered out quickly, holding back the choked sobs that had been present ever since he'd realised the consequences of his actions. The door of Jaehyun's bedroom immediately slammed shut afterwards, the click of the lock following it.

Yuta resigned to Jaehyun's couch and cried himself to sleep that night, wondering how much had he just fucked up because of his stupid, selfish desire to alter fate and make Jaehyun like him back again.

And true enough, what Yuta had feared terribly directly hit him the very next morning.

After Jaehyun had made them a simple breakfast of toast and coffee, he sat Yuta down on the couch and told him straight to the face.

"I'm going back to America to continue studying."

Yuta silently processed his words, quickly shooting up from his seat once he realised what Jaehyun was implying. "You-You're not breaking up with me, right?" He mentally cursed at his voice for sounding so vulnerable and insecure, but Jaehyun just sighed in resignation.

"How are we going to make a long distance relationship work?" He asked rhetorically, a hint of irritation in his voice. Jaehyun pushed Yuta back down in his seat, ignoring the exasperated expression on his face.

"J-Jaehyun... no, you can't break up with me," Yuta shook his head in denial. "I still love you. You love me too, right?"

Jaehyun's silence was all the response Yuta needed for him to break out into hysteria.

"You... you don't love me anymore?" His voice cracked, tears welling up in his eyes as he stood up once again to be face to face with him. "Jaehyun... you can't do this to me, please, I-I don't want to lose you..."

Jaehyun stood there expressionless, his pupils darting around, looking everywhere else except Yuta. He ignored the man in front of him as he continued rambling, his voice getting increasingly helpless and shaky, his trembling hands reaching forward to hold Jaehyun's for comfort. Jaehyun swiped them away in annoyance, watching Yuta's desolate expression grow even more hopeless.

"You're an idiot, aren't you?" Jaehyun scowled, "can't you tell that I've fallen out of love with you a long time ago? Why are you acting so surprised when I'm breaking it off with you now? You should've seen this coming."

Yuta's mouth hung open in shock at Jaehyun's bitter confession. The other didn't seem to care a single bit as he breathed a heavy sigh and turned around, "I'm leaving tomorrow afternoon. It was nice while it lasted, Yuta, but all good things have to come to an end."

At that moment, Yuta's entire world came crashing to his feet.

He bolted straight home after that, not surprised to see that Jaehyun didn't even care about where he was going. He holed up in his apartment the entire day, skipping work and all three meals, not emerging from his bedroom even when Doyoung and Taeyong yelled for him to open his front door at the end of the day. They spent a good fifteen minutes picking his lock and breaking into his apartment, and Doyoung was hell ready to throw hands until he saw the terrible state Yuta was in.

Yuta's entire face was red and bloated from the excessive crying until he was almost indistinguishable. The ends of his hair were plastered to his forehead from the heat of being buried under his covers for hours without end. Dried tears and mucus were smeared all over his face, and to put it simply, he looked absolutely horrifying.

Doyoung and Taeyong didn't waste a single second in taking care of him; Taeyong rushed up to Yuta to help him clean his face and let him empty the remains of his tears into his shoulder, while Doyoung busied himself with getting a decent meal done in the shortest amount of time possible. None of them asked what had happened, partially because they already had an unnerving guess, but mostly because they wanted Yuta himself to crack first and spill the news to them.

He eventually did, leaving out the part where he failed to properly cut off Jaehyun's string and skipping straight to what had happened on that morning. The two of them listened patiently, not interrupting him even as his voice broke on a few occasions, and waited for him to finish his story before offering their opinions.

"Why didn't you call us earlier? We would've come over immediately and you wouldn't have to suffer the whole day alone," Taeyong spoke first, still rubbing circles on Yuta's back to comfort him.

"I didn't want to trouble you two..." Yuta mumbled, his eyelids drooping in exhaustion even though he spent the whole day in bed.

"It's our duty as your friends to make sure that you're alive and breathing, Yuta," Doyoung frowned as Yuta nodded off, his head almost colliding with the wall if not for Doyoung's hand that caught it in time.

"Go to sleep. Have some proper rest, now that you've eaten something and cleaned up," Doyoung sighed, watching in worry as Yuta retreated under his covers and was knocked out in the speed of light. "We'll come by tomorrow morning to check on you, alright? Everything's going to be okay."

That was how Doyoung's daily visits to Yuta's apartment to make breakfast for them began. Even long after the predicament died down, Doyoung refused Yuta's declines to stop checking up on him, as Yuta's unpredictable and wandering mind sometimes took him too far, to places he didn't want to be in again, making him prone to more occasions like these.

A few weeks later, Johnny called him up to update him about news he'd found out regarding Jaehyun. Apparently, one of their mutual friends spotted Jaehyun going out with another mysterious guy in America.

Yuta acted as if he didn't care although he was internally seething with anger. Did Jaehyun use the fact that he was going back to America as an excuse to break up with Yuta and get together with someone else? Thinking about the past few months of their toxic relationship, Yuta wasn't the least bit surprised.

He finally managed to get over Jaehyun a few months later, of course with the help of Taeyong and Doyoung. Everything returned back to normal, with the exception of Johnny pissing him off a little more than the past, and Yuta swore that never again in his life would he get himself involved in a relationship like this.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

After finishing his stroll down the dark corners of his memory lane, Yuta took a look at his present self and let out an incredulous snort.

Like deja vu, he found himself in exactly the same position as the day Jaehyun broke up with him, curled under the covers with a tear-soaked pillow, not getting up even as the sun rose from and sunk in the horizon. He had texted Doyoung in the morning not to come up to prepare breakfast for them that day as he _'wasn't up for it'_ , giving him an entire day to himself to wallow in his own misery before the two of them would crash into his apartment after work.

Yuta knew he was an idiot for allowing himself to fall for Sicheng, as well as making Sicheng fall for him. What did he expect? A stable relationship, just because they were _soulmates?_ He laughed dryly at himself- how was it possible for one person to entirely flip his negative, two-year-old perspective of soulmates?

He was too gullible, he thought. Blinded by his love for Sicheng, making himself think that everything would go right just because the universe put them together. Listening to Jungwoo's convincing words, letting them alter his pessimistic mind, filling him with hope that Yuta desperately clung onto until it was clear that it never existed in the first place.

He rolled over until he was flat on his stomach, squeezing the tears out of his eyes onto his damp pillow. _Would Sicheng even care that he was reduced to this state now?_ Yuta scoffed, slapping the selfish thought out of his mind. Sicheng was probably over the moon to finally be out of something he didn't want to be in initially. He was probably prancing around at work now, acting as if he didn't cut off a relationship two nights ago, smiling sweetly at a worried Taeyong when he asked him if he knew his whereabouts.

 _Would Taeyong and Doyoung even be worried about him?_ That thought made Yuta's heart stop beating for a second. _What if Sicheng told the two of them all the evil deeds Yuta had done to him and they had believed him without a doubt? Would they leave him to rot at home in his own tears and filth? Would they disown Yuta as a friend after realising that he had been a huge bitch who didn't know how to treat others with love and respect?_

Also, Jaehyun's string. He had brushed it off when he first saw it after so long during that day at the cafe. When they broke apart, Yuta clearly remembered that the string was still connected, though barely holding up. But when Jaehyun had asked him out, his string had already snapped off, leaving numerous ugly frays. _Did he come back from America to attempt to get back with Yuta because his soulmate had been disconnected from him? Could Jaehyun's soulmate see the strings too, allowing them to cut the string off? Why would his soulmate do that? Did Jaehyun treat them as horribly as he treated Yuta?_

Before Yuta could slide into his umpteenth emotional breakdown that day, the clonking of office shoes and the faint chatter that came from his doorstep made his ears perk up. He got up from his bed, taming the aggressive headache that pounced on him the moment his blood rushed from his head to his feet.

A key was already being inserted into his lock, and Yuta frantically used the remaining seconds to transform himself into someone who looked slightly less fucked up and more presentable so that Doyoung and Taeyong wouldn't nag at him further. Upon taking a look at himself in the mirror, he came to the quick realisation that no amount of work could hide the tear stains and the dark eye circles on his ghostly pale face.

"Yuta?!" Doyoung's panicked voice followed after a deafening bang of his front door, and Yuta mentally counted five seconds before a flustered Doyoung skidded into his bedroom, clad in mismatched socks, Taeyong right behind him.

"Oh my _god_ Yuta, I told you not to scare us like this anymore," Doyoung collapsed on Yuta's bed, massaging his temples with a hand. "At least look at your phone? Leave our messages on read if you don't have the energy to reply them? Taeyong and I were _really_ convinced that you dropped dead somewhere, considering that Sicheng refused to speak to us and remained in a foul mood throughout today."

Doyoung placed a hand on his chest, silently cursing under his breath, his gaze flickering up at Yuta's expression when he didn't reply after a good five seconds. "Did something happen? God, you look awful. Are you even alive??"

Yuta's head hung low in shame, exhaling deeply as Doyoung continued rambling about how worried but relieved he was, Taeyong helpfully offering unheard words of comfort.

"He didn't tell you two?"

"What?" Taeyong sounded a little surprised and confused, diverting his attention from Doyoung. " _Who_ didn't tell us _what?_ "

Doyoung had also stopped whining to listen to Yuta's next words, staring at him with his wide, curious eyes. Yuta swallowed the tears that had once again accumulated, biting his lip as he continued bitterly.

"Sicheng and I broke up two days ago."

Instantly, both Taeyong and Doyoung froze, before their movements continued in a more reserved, slower motion. They remained silent for a while, none of them knowing what to reply to Yuta's revelation without coming off as rude.

"Two days ago?" Doyoung's voice was definitely more sympathetic and less naggy. "Please don't tell me you rotted in here and did nothing for two days. When was the last time you ate something?"

Yuta racked his brain and tried to recall all that happened in the past two days, but all he could remember was the image of an angry Sicheng screaming toxic words at him and ignoring Yuta's cries to come back to him. He pressed the heel of his palms to his eyes, letting out a shaky sigh as he pushed back the tears threatening to fall.

"I... I really don't remember," Yuta answered honestly, and Doyoung sighed thickly before getting up from his bed.

"I'll go downstairs and get you something. I knew it was a bad idea to listen to you and not come up to make breakfast for you today, I'm such an idiot..." Doyoung's voice trailed off as he walked out of Yuta's bedroom.

Taeyong fidgeted in his seat on the swivel chair against Yuta's desk, playing with his fingers distractedly. Yuta could tell that he wanted to say something but was reluctant to, so he patiently waited for him to speak up. Eventually, Taeyong looked up from his fingers and forced the words out of his mouth.

"The way you treated Sicheng really... wasn't the right way you should've treated a boyfriend."

Taeyong's reminder was like a newly-polished knife shoved deep into his heart, digging up the overwhelming guilt that was carefully buried within, making Yuta visibly wince in pain.

"I figured. A little too late, though," Yuta lamented, resigning himself to Taeyong's lecture.

"I know I'm in no place to say this, but may I offer my two cents?" Taeyong spoke up, taking Yuta's silence as a sign to continue. "It was bad from the start. Sicheng didn't have to put up with your orders with a bright smile on his face. He didn't need to be nice to you when you treated him like shit. But he did. And you took advantage of that. You kissed him, even. You made him fall for you. Everyone could see that."

Yuta reluctantly listened to Taeyong's accusing words, helplessly letting them sink into his guilt-ridden body.

"You know, Sicheng talked to me about this once. A few weeks ago, perhaps. He told me how afraid he was about losing you, thinking you had already started something with Jungwoo and all that. It was mostly your fault that you made him think that way but there he was, taking the blame for everything that you did. Looks like he finally snapped in the end, huh?" Taeyong's tone didn't sound angry or disappointed, it was more of defeated and matter-of-factly.

"What I'm trying to say is, Sicheng broke up with you for his own good. For yours, too. I know you haven't fully moved on from Jaehyun, especially after that day you met him again. Your heart's still shaken. Give yourself some time, Yuta, don't start something you know you can't commit to, alright?" Taeyong concluded just as Doyoung reappeared, a black plastic bag from the convenience store in one hand. He emptied the contents on Yuta's bed- a tuna sandwich, a bottle of orange juice, a packet of instant dumplings and a granola bar tumbled out, and Doyoung threw the empty bag in a corner.

"Not exactly the healthiest meal, but you need at least something in your barren stomach before you pass out from low blood sugar," Doyoung's nagging commenced as Yuta picked up the granola bar and peeled off the wrapper, nibbling on it tentatively.

"Can you please, next time, text us if anything goes wrong? You're not a bother, I promise; if you can't take care of yourself, then we'll do it for you." Doyoung placed a hand on his knee, and with the way his eyebrows were furrowed as he said that, Yuta thought that Doyoung really looked like a stressed mother worrying for her teenager that just hit puberty.

The thought caused a stupid grin to spread out on his lips as he contentedly munched away on his food, eliciting a narrow glare from Doyoung.

"If you're thinking about how I sound like a worried mother, then fuck off," Doyoung wrinkled his nose at Yuta, making him look like an adorable little bunny instead. "Do you feel a bit better now? Do you want us to stay over for the night to keep you company?"

Yuta shook his head, although he was touched by how much his friends still cared for him despite being such a horrible human being. He exchanged a brief glance with Doyoung, and even without words, he knew he had successfully conveyed his utmost thanks to him.

"I'm coming over to make breakfast tomorrow morning, I don't care what you say or if you refuse to open the door. I have your key now, mind you," Doyoung threatened, pulling Taeyong up from the chair as the two of them made their way out of Yuta's bedroom.

"Also, Yuta," Taeyong added in just before they stepped out of the front door, Yuta walking them out although he could feel his bones disintegrating with each step he took. "You should probably try to fix things with Sicheng. After all, he's your deskmate. Both of you have to be on good terms, just not romantically. None of us want another case of you and Johnny."

Doyoung agreed with a curt nod of his head, before the two of them disappeared into the staircase landing. Yuta stared at the half-eaten tuna sandwich in his hand and suddenly, it didn't look appetising anymore.

Taeyong made it sound as if reconciling with your ex who you've emotionally abused for the past few months was the easiest thing in the world. Of course, when you're in a stable relationship with your boyfriend, everything else was easier said than done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if this chapter was a little uneventful,, i promise that the next chapter will be better :D


	10. 选

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **选(xuǎn)** : two choices; so different yet so difficult to choose.

Yuta doesn't talk to Sicheng.

They continued ignoring each other's presence at work if they could, and minimised their interactions with each other when they were forced to work together. When his colleagues asked him what was going on between him and Sicheng, Yuta simply cleared his throat to signify that he was uncomfortable, and proceeded to change the topic to something else, refusing to address the matter.

Yuta saw the way Sicheng brightly fooled around with other colleagues, laughing and joking with them, spreading his contagious happy vibes to them. But his expression never failed to darken the moment Yuta came into his sight, seriousness painted all over his face.

_It hurt terribly, to say the least._

Yuta's excessive drinking habits returned, and he found himself being dragged by some unknown force to the regular pub every night as if drinking could make his problems go away. He was pretty sure that Jungwoo was still mad at him from that incident he had with Taeil, judging by how he never texted Yuta after that day, so Yuta spent all of his nights alone, accompanied by his best friend, a glass of beer.

He finally got a taste of his own medicine, so he didn't complain to anyone (not as if he had anyone to complain to, anyway). Yuta felt like he deserved every single bit of the pain he was experiencing.

Sicheng had sauntered over to Doyoung and Taeyong's workspace and invited them out for dinner on a particular Thursday evening, completely skipping over Yuta. He didn't even need to guess to know that Taeil and Jungwoo were tagging along too, judging by how close he had grown to them over the past few weeks.

He kept his ears alert for their reply, his fingers momentarily hovering over his keyboard to minimise the sound level. When they had agreed readily, not even bothering to ask if Yuta was coming, the wave of disappointment that crashed into Yuta was powerful enough to make his eyes well up with salty tears.

 _His best friends had completely forgotten about him._ Yuta was officially alone.

He waited for the three of them to leave the office promptly at five, before heading down to his usual spot at the bar with a tray of five shots instead of his beer. He downed a shot promptly, letting the alcohol set fire to his throat, enjoying the burn like the masochist he was.

He thought of the five of them hanging out together, bonding over dinner, having a great time without Yuta. They would probably be dining at the little meat shop they often frequented, where the owner was remarkably generous and always gave them extra sides for free. They would probably go out to have fun afterwards, maybe go bowling together, where Sicheng and Taeyong would compete with each other to see who achieved the highest points while Doyoung, Taeil and Jungwoo would struggle to keep the ball from falling into the gutter.

They didn't _need_ Yuta in their lives to have fun. He was like an irritating mosquito, buzzing around them, seeking attention, being a hassle to them in general.

He poured another shot straight down his throat, causing his vision to blur for a second, his head pounding intensely, but Yuta savoured the pain and closed his eyes, feeling the stress ooze out of him.

When he opened them, however, what he least expected was the sight of a _smiling_ Jungwoo right in front of him.

"It's been a long time, hasn't it?" Jungwoo began first, hopping up excitedly onto the stool beside Yuta. Yuta remembered the old days when this used to happen almost every other day, the two of them sitting here and drinking, spilling their life problems to each other.

"Wh-what are you doing here?" Yuta puzzledly questioned. "Didn't Sicheng invite you out for dinner? With Taeil? And Doyoung and Taeyong?"

Jungwoo's smile dropped, his bottom lip pursed out as he mirrored Yuta's look of confusion. "Invite me out for _dinner?_ Why would Sicheng do that?"

Yuta's brain was still hazy from the recent shot, unable to process Jungwoo's words as he continued. "Aren't you supposed to be angry at me? Why are you smiling?"

" _What?!_ Yuta, are you okay?" Jungwoo squinted at him, putting a hand over Yuta's forehead to check for a fever. "Looks like Yuta.exe has crashed. Would you like to reboot your system?"

Yuta remained absolutely still, his gaze remaining on Jungwoo. After blinking twice to emphasise his confusion, Jungwoo burst out into a fit of giggles.

"Okay, okay. Let's do this one by one. Why do you think I'm mad at you?" Jungwoo patiently asked, folding his arms and placing them on the bar table, looking expectantly at Yuta.

"...Because I punched Taeil?"

" _Oh._ Oh, right," Jungwoo recalled, his smile faltering for a second before coming back at full force. "I was a little pissed after that, but it's nothing serious. Taeil's face is better now. And he also seems to have forgiven you, miraculously."

Yuta nodded slowly, before Jungwoo continued, "what's this about Sicheng inviting me out?" His expression quickly contorted into one of shock after his words sunk in. "Wait, did you say he invited Taeil as well? So _that's_ where Taeil went! I was wondering why he suddenly left the apartment. That's also why I came here, because I was lonely, and I thought that I might find you here, and we could drink together like the old days."

Yuta repeated his previous action, nodding solemnly, until Jungwoo's head snapped in his direction. "Hold on a moment, you said that Sicheng invited _Doyoung and Taeyong?_ But he didn't invite _you?_ What's going on?"

Yuta coughed, eyeing another shot glass, but Jungwoo quickly caught on and pushed the tray of shots to the other end of the table, out of Yuta's reach. He sighed and dropped his head in his palms, running a hand through his messy, tangled magenta hair. Jungwoo managed to read his friend's body language, and his furrowed eyebrows gradually relaxed, a look of realisation spreading across his face.

"Sicheng broke up with you, didn't he?"

Yuta hummed in response, casting a glance at his badly damaged red string. "I hate that you always manage to read me correctly," he muttered under his breath.

Jungwoo didn't reply, instead showing his sympathy by sliding a single shot glass from behind him to Yuta, in which he instantly tipped into his throat, letting the blissful feeling of pain wash over his scathed heart.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jungwoo's heartfelt tone and concerned frown could make Yuta burst into tears at that moment, but he held it in as he shrugged his shoulders. As much as it hurt him, he needed to talk about his pent-up frustrations with someone since Doyoung and Taeyong weren't going to listen to his side of the story without interjecting with comments that Yuta didn't want to hear.

"Don't worry, I'll listen to you, alright? Take your time, the night is still young. We have all the time you want," Jungwoo smiled flatly, looking up at the night sky, and Yuta was stunned momentarily at the way the stars seemed to sparkle in his eyes.

"Sicheng doesn't believe me when I say that nothing's going on between the both of us," Yuta went straight to the point, sighing heavily as he finally revealed his biggest concern to someone. "He doesn't believe anything I say now. Not after all the lies I've told him."

"You could just tell him that we can see the str-" Jungwoo began but stopped midway, slumping down in his seat after remembering that no one but the two of them were aware of their secret. "Well, _fuck._ What excuse did you give then?"

"I said that we were _'special friends'_ ," Yuta cringed at his own words. Jungwoo winced, his expression not looking any better than Yuta's. "I shouldn't have done that, right."

Jungwoo placed a hand under his chin, a thoughtful sigh escaping his lips as he pondered on ways to clear the situation up. He rapped his fingernails on the table and hummed a monotonous note, before he finally gave up and looked back at Yuta, who had been staring at him intently.

"I don't think there's any other way than to tell him the truth. He might not believe you, but that's the least you can do, right?" Jungwoo frowned deeply, watching Yuta's face pucker in hesitance. "I don't think Sicheng will spill it to anyone else. I don't know him that well, but he seems pretty tight-lipped."

Yuta remained quiet, the wrinkles in his forehead becoming prominent as he contemplated Jungwoo's suggestion. _Would he stand another chance with Sicheng if he revealed his lifelong secret to him?_ Or would Sicheng just take it with a pinch of salt and brush it off as if it didn't matter at all, not buying his reasoning that actually was the truth this time?

"Yuta, you know that it's the right thing to do. It's the truth. You can't keep hiding it from him," Jungwoo miraculously managed to see through his thoughts again. "He was your boyfriend. He deserves to know about this. Everything will be okay, trust me."

Yuta sighed emotionally, his grip around his empty shot glass tightening, causing the droplets of condensation to cascade down the cool glass. Jungwoo eyed him worriedly, afraid that Yuta might just hurl it across the street in a sudden outburst of frustration.

"I really don't have a choice but to talk things out with him, do I?" Yuta asked rhetorically, his hands dropping to his lap, gazing sadly at the ugly red string rustling about towards his left. The thought that Sicheng was still on the other end filled him with some kind of unspoken expectation, that everything might turn out well because Sicheng was his soulmate.

_(With Jungwoo smiling softly at him like that, conveying his encouragement, it was hard for Yuta's negative mindset to interrupt his thoughts and tell him that none of those expectations made any sense.)_

"Ignoring your problems won't make them go away, Yuta," Jungwoo wrapped his hand around Yuta's shoulder, squeezing it lightly. "I know you don't want to talk to him, I know it hurts, but this can't go on forever. And you have to be the one to put a stop to it."

Yuta took a deep breath and gathered all of his strength to force a smile at Jungwoo, who immediately reciprocated with a large grin that made Yuta feel a little better about himself.

"If anything goes wrong, you'll be here, right?" He asked tentatively, and the comforting nod of Jungwoo's head finally put his heavy heart at ease.

_"I promise that I'll be."_

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Like the coward he was, Yuta put talking to Sicheng off for the longest time possible.

He only gave in when Jungwoo threatened to break into his house while he's sleeping to confiscate his prized collection of animes and mangas glamorously displayed on a bookshelf in his living room. Yuta regretted informing him about them.

He texted Jungwoo that he'd bring Sicheng to a cafe after work and talk it out there, and Jungwoo replied with a simple thumbs up emoji. Yuta did as he said, his heart in his throat as he nervously squeaked out his invitation to Sicheng, and surprisingly, he accepted it without any hassle.

The tension between them during their walk towards Drippin' cafe was similar to that time with Taeil, so Yuta could already tell that this wasn't heading in the right direction. They didn't say anything to each other; Sicheng mindlessly tapped on his phone screen _(He was texting Taeil, what else could he be doing?)_ and Yuta's head was too busy with a million thoughts to open his mouth and break the silence between them.

After what felt like a thousand years, the both of them finally collected their drinks and made their way to a table that was outside. Sicheng made an effort to put away his phone and stare directly at Yuta, a hint of irritation in his eyes as he waited for the other male to start talking.

"Uh... so, how have you been?" Yuta began tentatively. Sicheng sighed audibly, obviously impatient and annoyed, but he still put up with Yuta's attempt to divert from the topic he wanted to talk about.

"Yuta, I believe we sit right next to each other every single day, how do you think I'm doing?" Sicheng replied, a slight edge to his voice. Yuta shrunk further into his frame, nervously stuttering his reply.

"N-no, I mean... you and Taeil. How things are between you," he clarified, and Sicheng's eyebrows shot up in amusement.

"Me and _Taeil?_ You're asking about _us?_ " A minute grin seemed to make itself known on Sicheng's lips for a millisecond, but it went away as fast as it lasted. "Well, we're doing amazing."

Sicheng's words sent a thousand sharp needles flying straight to his heart, each of them pricking him one by one, letting Yuta suffer the excruciating pain of listening to Sicheng talk about Taeil.

"Oh. Oh, I see," Yuta coughed awkwardly, before taking a sip out of his hot chocolate. Sicheng did the same, although his piercing gaze never left Yuta, insistent that there was something else that he wanted to address.

"So... you're dating now?" Yuta tongue flicked out to clean the foam off his lips. Sicheng nodded enthusiastically, though his gaze switched to the concrete floor below them.

"Can you get to the point? I... I can't stay out for long," Yuta had heard enough of Sicheng's lies to know that this was another one of them. Of course, he was obviously uncomfortable, who would like to have a conversation with their ex after weeks without talking to each other?

"Right. Uh... how do I say this..." Yuta mentally cursed at himself for listening to Sicheng so readily, not questioning his words although he was sure they were lies. Sicheng tapped his fingernails on the metal table incessantly, creating a soft clinking sound.

"Jungwoo and I... we actually-"

"Are dating?" Sicheng abruptly interrupted, cutting off Yuta's words just as he gained enough confidence to blurt the truth out. He flinched back, shaking his head violently at what Sicheng had implied.

" _No!_ " Yuta immediately denied. "Just... just listen. We- the two of us, Jungwoo and I- can see the strings. The red strings of fate. We've talked about this before, haven't we?"

To emphasise his point, Yuta brought his left hand up from his lap and stuck out his pinky, flashing it to a wide-eyed Sicheng. The familiar sight of the short, red string connecting them brought back heaps of memories, both good and bad. Sicheng didn't say anything for a long while, blankly staring at Yuta's pinky as if he could see the strings if he tried hard enough.

"...And so?" Sicheng responded puzzledly. "Why are you telling me this?"

Yuta tried to suppress a triumphant grin. For once, Sicheng wasn't doubting his words.

"That was how we got close so quickly, and kept disappearing to places by ourselves to talk about our soulmates and things like that, because we couldn't risk anyone else hearing. It was our secret. We were _never_ dating, Sicheng," Yuta reasoned, and with the exception of a confused glare, Sicheng didn't seem to show any significant reaction.

"We weren't planning on telling anyone, but I realised that I can't keep on keeping secrets from you if we're going to continue being friends. You deserve to know this," Yuta admitted sheepishly, shrinking under Sicheng's gaze that was getting fiercer by the second. "I-I know you don't believe me, but this is really the truth. I'm not going to lie to you anymore."

Sicheng's silence resumed, his blank expression not reflecting any of the emotions he was experiencing, making Yuta clueless on what he was thinking. He held his breath and bit down on his bottom lip, subconsciously fiddling with his string, terrified of Sicheng's next words.

"So who's your soulmate?"

At his reply, Yuta wasn't sure if he should feel relieved that Sicheng finally believed his words, or afraid of his reaction when he answered his question truthfully.

Yuta nervously looked up at Sicheng's curious eyes. His suspicion from minutes ago had vanished, instead replaced by amusement and inquisitiveness. Yuta gulped down the lump of nervousness that had accumulated in his throat as he decided on how he was going to reveal the news.

"Can you... give me your left hand?"

Sicheng raised an eyebrow, but complied to Yuta's words as he raised his left hand from his lap and offered it to Yuta. Yuta placed his left pinky right next to Sicheng's, and the red string connecting them disappeared as the two bows sat beside each other contentedly, as if they were happy to be reunited with each other after a long time.

Yuta was too busy taking in the beautiful sight to notice Sicheng's confused expression morph into one of realisation and horror. His plump lips parted in shock as he gasped silently, a figurative lightbulb above his head flickering on once he found out what Yuta was implying.

"You... Are you telling me that _we,_ " he paused for a moment for a dramatic effect, "are _soulmates?!_ "

Yuta nodded timidly, reaching over to tighten the bow on Sicheng's string. At that instant, with their two pinkys side by side, the identical little bows complimenting each other, Yuta was almost tricked by the fact that they were still together, that Taeil didn't exist and the two of them were still in their own little world, dating each other without any qualms.

"The universe put us together, Sicheng, we were made for each other," Yuta continued, oblivious to Sicheng's disgusted expression. "Remember that night when you wondered if we were soulmates? It's true, so we should be together again."

" _B-Bullshit!_ " Sicheng's shriek shocked Yuta out of his daze. His eyes snapped to the other male, who had shot out of his seat and was breathing heavily, his hands clenched into fists that rested by his sides. The chatter from the surrounding customers lowered in volume as they spectated the scene, and Yuta was reminded about the incident he had with Jaehyun at this very same spot.

"Wh-what do you mean?" Yuta motioned for Sicheng to sit down, but Sicheng just raged ever further, jabbing an accusing finger at Yuta as he continued hollering, drawing the attention of more passersby.

"You're... you're _lying!_ You're just saying this to convince me to get back together with you!" Sicheng huffed, not faltering under the gazes of the growing crowd. "You don't like me dating Taeil, so... so you're just making up more bullshit to make me feel bad about dating him! And get back together with you!"

Yuta slowly rose from his chair, his enlarged pupils quivering as they searched Sicheng's eyes for any bit of understanding, but all he could find was the burning hatred of betrayal. Yuta's mouth opened in an attempt to deny the suspicions, but Sicheng beat him to it, spluttering out more untrue conclusions.

"You're disgusting, Yuta! How _dare_ you say that whatever you said was the truth, when you're telling even more lies to me? I told you, I'm _not_ stupid! I'm _never_ going to believe anything you say again!" Sicheng attempted to leave the scene, but Yuta reached out for him in time, clutching his arm desperately.

"Sicheng, please, this is really the truth! This wasn't the intention I was going for, I just thought that it was time for me to stop keeping things from you because I know I was an asshole," Yuta pleaded, feeling the corner of his eyes prick with tears of despair. Sicheng scoffed loudly, flinging away Yuta's grasp.

"Yeah? The only reason why you've decided to tell me now is _exactly_ because of this! Bless your mind for thinking of such an interesting and believable excuse, but I'm sorry, I'm not letting myself get tricked by you for the hundredth time," Sicheng concluded and stormed off, leaving Yuta standing there awkwardly, becoming the victim of the audience's whispers and mummers.

Like history repeating itself again, the thin, fragile string that served as the last sliver of hope that this would all work out grew longer and longer, until it finally disappeared when Sicheng couldn't be seen anymore.

_But what was the use of a visible string when Yuta couldn't reach out and tug on it, bringing Sicheng back to him in desperate times like these?_

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

"It didn't go well, did it."

Yuta peeked out from his curled position on his kitchen stool to find Jungwoo standing in front of him with a grim smile on his face. Yuta had only texted him half an hour ago to _'please come over, I'm dying'_ , and it looked like Jungwoo had appeared faster than he had expected. Yuta grunted in response, scooting over to make space for Jungwoo to sit on the stool beside him.

"How did you get in?" Yuta refilled his glass of soju and poured another for Jungwoo, before gulping it down in one go.

"Doyoung lent me the key," Jungwoo accepted the drink, wincing at the burn as he tipped it in his throat. "Don't worry, I didn't say anything about Sicheng. I told him I wanted to rob you, and he more than happily gave it to me."

"You could've just knocked," Yuta groaned, his head retreating back to its position between his knees.

Jungwoo eyed the tiny ball of melancholy beside him incredulously. "I'm pretty sure you can't make it to the door without breaking halfway," he pointed out, and Yuta groaned once more.

"He didn't believe me, like I thought," Yuta switched the topic, directly addressing the issue, "I tried. I told him the truth. I convinced him. I was so sure it'd worked, but the moment I told him that we were connected, he blew up."

Jungwoo nodded sympathetically, as if he expected that this would happen. Yuta downed another shot, pushing the empty bottle to the end of the kitchen island, joining another two.

"Fuck, he yelled at me in front of everyone. I practically crawled back here from embarrassment," Yuta recalled stumbling over his own feet every two seconds while running back to his apartment. "Thank god he didn't expose our secret to the whole world. I guess I have to give it to him for that."

"He thought your motive was to make him feel bad, break up with Taeil and get back with you," Jungwoo correctly predicted. "Was he correct?"

Yuta went quiet for a moment, before he gave up with a loud sigh. "Kind of. I mean, my main aim was to tell him the truth, but I also did want him to get back with me because, well, I still love him. I _know_ I'm a selfish bitch."

Jungwoo didn't respond to that, instead running his finger around the rim of the empty glass, deep in thought. They sat there in semi-comfortable silence for a few minutes until Jungwoo abruptly turned to him, a serious expression written all over his face.

"Yuta, this is _not_ good," he stated vaguely, and Yuta nodded in obvious understanding, leaning over to grab another bottle from the fridge.

"I know it isn't. I have to find other ways for Sicheng to believe me so our relationship can be saved, and even if he doesn't want to get back with me, at least he has to-"

" _No,_ " Jungwoo cut him off. Yuta stared at him funnily, setting the icy bottle on the island, waiting for him to elaborate.

"You know this. The best, and _only_ way is right in front of you."

Yuta tilted his head to the side, wanting Jungwoo to explain his words, until the other male's gaze fluttered down to Yuta's string.

_Oh._

"Jungwoo. I'm _not_ cutting my string off," Yuta fully turned to him, a flicker of panic in his voice. "I _can't_ give up yet. I still have hope. There's still time. I still have a chance at winning him back."

"Sicheng comes over to our apartment a lot," Jungwoo confessed suddenly, making Yuta raise an eyebrow in puzzlement.

"I don't think you're aware of this, but Sicheng and Taeil look at each other like they put the stars in the sky. They're in _love_ with each other, Yuta," Jungwoo went on. Yuta's heart started to beat quicker, his palms grew cold and clammy and his dilated pupils began quivering.

"They remind me of Doyoung and Taeyong. Pure, unadulterated love for each other and nothing less. You know what I'm talking about, don't you? You've seen how gentle and soft Doyoung and Taeyong's relationship is, haven't you?"

Yuta's breathing started to quicken and he shook his head furiously, shaking off any implications that Jungwoo was creating.

"No amount of convincing is going to make Sicheng believe you again. Especially after what happened today. He's going to be even _more_ cautious around you, if anything," Jungwoo realistically explained. "Cutting off your string is the only way to fix things, Yuta."

"N-no..." He continued denying, attempting to brainwash himself, blocking out Jungwoo's words. "J-Jungwoo... I still love him, I'm not going to give up... I can't let myself lose to Taeil."

Jungwoo sighed, turning away from Yuta, his bangs falling over his eyes as he squeezed them shut. "Don't you find this situation very familiar? It's exactly what happened with Doyoung and I."

Yuta froze in his position, his lips parted in an attempt to reply but his words got caught in his throat. "It's... it's different..." Yuta managed to croak out, "you were willing to cut it off. I'm not."

"That's _not_ what I meant." Jungwoo's eyes remained closed, and his thin voice started trembling, "you still love your soulmate, but he's obviously in love with someone else."

Yuta gulped, unsure of what Jungwoo's reaction could be implying. _Hadn't he gotten over Doyoung a long time ago?_

"I'm... I'm not forcing you to cut it off, because ultimately, Sicheng is _your_ soulmate and _you_ love him," Jungwoo took in a deep breath, opened his eyes and met Yuta's gaze. "As you said, I'm not going to make any decisions for you."

"But... there isn't any other way, is there? It's either I cut it off or don't. Either way, I will end up suffering," Yuta lamented, his heart heavy with burden.

However, Jungwoo's next words caught him off guard, a tiny, barely coherent mumble escaping from the cracks of his lips.

_"There is one other way."_

" _What?!_ " Yuta exclaimed, his head shooting up from his knees, his desperate gaze piercing Jungwoo's tentative form.

"Do you remember what I said to you that day at the bar, about the power of observers? The day after I cut off my string?" Jungwoo hinted, and Yuta rummaged through his memory to dig up his passing comment from that day.

_"Don't you think it's cool? If you wanted to date someone, you could just go ahead and cut off their string and tie it to yours, and they wouldn't even realise anything except for the fact that they were falling for you."_

"Wait. So you're saying that... I cut off my string from Sicheng, and immediately tie it back again?" Yuta realised, and Jungwoo nodded quickly. "It works that way as well? He'll start to fall for me again?"

Jungwoo nodded again, this time more guiltily, as if he had just spilled a drastic, selfish secret to Yuta. Yuta's jaw dropped open and wouldn't close, his mind frantically processing the two options he had been offered.

"Don't forget what I said after that as well," Jungwoo reminded. _"If this ability falls into the hands of the wrong people, then shit could go down."_

Yuta's thought process paused. _Shit could go down?_ Was there a possibility that Sicheng wouldn't fall back for him? Or would their strings not morph back into one unblemished string after retying it? Perhaps Taeil would start to loathe him with his entire being? Maybe Doyoung and Taeyong would notice that something was off and their friendship would crumble to bits?

Yuta's mind ran like a steam train, puffing out black clouds of possibilities after possibilities, each one significantly worse than the previous one. It was Jungwoo's hands on his cold and clammy ones that stopped his insecure mind from overthinking further.

"Jungwoo... I really don't know what to do," he whimpered, and all the comfort Jungwoo could offer at that moment was a simple squeeze of his hands.

"Just do what you think is right," Jungwoo advised. "Tie it to Taeil and help them improve their relationship, or tie it back to you and make Sicheng fall for you all over again. It's your choice from now on, Yuta."

Yuta winced, the burden of making such a heavy decision weighing him down painfully. Jungwoo let one of his hands go to take something out of his jeans pocket, and Yuta recognised it as the same scissors that Jungwoo had used to cut his string off from Doyoung.

"You'll need to use this either way," Jungwoo placed the scissors on Yuta's palm and wrapped his fingers around it. He looked back up at a panicking Yuta, his sparkling eyes sending waves of comfort to him.

"Don't forget what I told you. If you truly like someone, you'd do anything to give the best to them. I trust that you won't do anything stupid, Yuta."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what do u think yuta will choose?? tell me what yall think in the comments hehe
> 
> i can't believe the next chapter will be the last already,, nevertheless it will be a really eventful one so look forward to it ^^


	11. 尾

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **尾(wěi):** the end is just the start of a new beginning.

Jungwoo didn't give Yuta a lot of time to make his decision. Three days later, the six of them were seated around a table in the first pub that they had all met one another, courtesy of Jungwoo's suggestion to meet up for 'old time's sake'.

The awkwardness in the air was unbearable. Sicheng and Taeil nervously glanced at each other every ten seconds, as if they were contemplating if they should act like they usually did or put up a facade since Yuta was present. Even Doyoung and Taeyong stopped being all over each other and sat side by side in silence, fidgeting uneasily. Eventually Jungwoo couldn't stand it anymore and sighed loudly, rising from his seat.

"I don't know why this is so awkward, but I'm guessing it's because Yuta is here. I'll take him out to talk for awhile so y'all can just... talk among yourselves normally," Jungwoo announced, casting Yuta a glance that signalled him to follow.

No one stopped them this time, not even Doyoung who would normally flash displeased faces at Jungwoo and Yuta whenever they went off on their own. Sicheng's reaction had turned a hundred and eighty degrees from last time as he appeared almost relieved and thankful that the two of them excused themselves. Yuta wasn't sure what to feel about that.

They settled down at their usual bar table; Jungwoo relaxingly blowing hot air into his cold palms while Yuta squirmed around in his seat uncomfortably, his breathing rate increased as his palms started to sweat nervously.

"Have you made your decision?" Jungwoo questioned first, noticing Yuta's uneasiness. He kept his gaze on the road in front of them, his iconic flat smile making its appearance on his face again.

"Do I have an option to say no?" Yuta grunted, sighing defeatedly when Jungwoo simply shrugged. "I know you organised this meeting just for me to... do what I need to do."

"The longer you keep delaying this, the more you'll end up doubting what you've chosen, and the more you'll hurt yourself in the end. I did this for your sake, Yuta," Jungwoo looked at him. Through the cracks of his unexpressive mask, Yuta found a hint of concern and he came to the realisation that Jungwoo was worried about him.

Yuta frowned deeply, recalling the last three torturous days. Every time Sicheng walked past him, Yuta's mind never failed to replay Jungwoo's words to him that night. It was _hell,_ to say the least- weighing the pros and cons of each option with Sicheng himself sitting barely a few feet away from him. As a result, he became extremely sensitive and jumpy while he was in the office, which didn't go unnoticed by his colleagues, including Doyoung and Taeyong. Yuta genuinely thought that he might've lost his two best friends when none of them came up to him and asked if anything was wrong, despite throwing worried glances at him whenever they walked past his workspace.

Yuta huffed, propping his chin up with his arms. "Why are you always right?"

"I'm not always right. I'm just never wrong," Jungwoo answered confusingly, making Yuta cast him a short but puzzled squint.

Jungwoo seemed to tense up suddenly, nervously eyeing Yuta as he stuttered out his next words.

"You're- are you okay with this?" He squeaked, "I'm... I'm not being too demanding am I? I know that this is an important decision and you need time to think about it because you're still attached to Sicheng- well, _literally_ but also figuratively and I hope three days isn't too short because I wanted to help you get over and done with it because I didn't want you to hurt yourself and-"

" _Jungwoo,_ " Yuta interrupted, making the rambling man halt his monologue and meet his gaze like a panicked meerkat. "It's fine. You were right, I already made up my mind and any delaying would make me contemplate about it. I appreciate it, really."

Jungwoo nodded obediently, his gaze shifting to his lap for a brief moment before his eyes fell on Yuta again, but this time with a different glint in them. He blinked a few times, before Yuta understood that he was urging him to continue.

"I... I've decided to c-cut off my string and..."

Jungwoo's comforting gaze encouraged him to finish his sentence, the corners of his lips curled up into a slight smile and the sparkles in his eyes reassuring him that it'd be okay.

"...and tie Sicheng to Taeil."

Instantly, Jungwoo's smile fell, and the little glitters in his pupils faded into its dark mass. He looked at Yuta with an unreadable expression- Yuta couldn't tell if he was confused, upset, surprised- perhaps it was a combination of everything.

"Why are you looking at me like that? Fuck, now I'm starting to rethink this," Yuta swore, his hands curling into fists which rested on the table. "Isn't this what you want me to do? _Jungwoo?_ "

"Why should what _I_ want you to do matter to you?" Jungwoo's soft voice startled Yuta. "Sicheng is _your_ soulmate. It's what _you_ want for _yourself._ Is this what you want? Are you going to regret this later on?"

Yuta thought for a moment. _Did he want Sicheng and Taeil's relationship to prosper right in front of his very eyes? Did he want to see them flirt and hold hands with each other every other day? Did he want to hear the many congratulatory words directed at them for announcing that they're together? Is that what he wanted?_

Jungwoo's words rang distinctively at the back of his head again, confirming his decision.

_"If you truly like someone, you'd do anything to give the best to them."_

"Yes, this is what I want and I'm not going to regret it."

Jungwoo's unreadable expression remained on his face for a couple of moments, before a heartfelt smile broke out on his face. Yuta wasn't sure how to describe it, but it was similar to a mother's smile who had just watched her clumsy son successfully play the piano at a recital without messing up once.

"I'm really proud of you, Yuta."

It was _pride._

"Jungwoo?" Yuta responded meekly, gulping down nervously at Jungwoo's unexpected reaction.

"You've been going through a lot these days and it really shows," Jungwoo's soothing voice made the hairs on Yuta's arms stand. "I know that Sicheng and Taeil see you in a bad light after what happened, and that Taeyong and Doyoung have started to lose faith in you. But instead of resorting to revenge, you still gave them another chance. I've been in your position before, as you might know, and I'm really proud of you for still choosing this."

Maybe it was because of the sudden empathetic words that Yuta had secretly been longing to hear for the longest time, or maybe it was because of the lack of attention and love he had been receiving recently, or perhaps it was because of Jungwoo's soft gaze and understanding tone, but at that instant, Yuta's dignity shattered and he broke down into a sea of tears that fortunately got absorbed into the fabric of Jungwoo's shoulder.

"I know that you're a good person, Yuta," Jungwoo held his head in place as the other male emptied his tears on him. "I know these few days have been tough. I know, Yuta, trust me, _I know._ "

Yuta wrapped his arms around Jungwoo's waist and hugged him tight as he cried, finding comfort in the warmth of Jungwoo's embrace, calming him down from his emotional moment after a few minutes. Yuta lifted his head from Jungwoo's shoulder, a few strands of hair brushing against his nape, eliciting a small giggle from him.

"Jungwoo?" Yuta whispered as his face was still inches away from Jungwoo's, so close that he could still feel his breath. The other male hummed in response, his grin growing wider.

"Will you help me... cut Taeil's string?"

"Of course I will," Jungwoo answered promptly. "You helped me with Taeyong, remember? It's only right that I help you this time."

Yuta heaved a sigh of relief and nodded, retreating to his side of the table. Jungwoo's hand on his waist lingered for another second or two, before it dropped back to his side.

"Did you bring the scissors that I gave you?" Jungwoo asked and Yuta reached into his back pocket, pulled the shiny tool out and placed it on Jungwoo's open palm.

"Just wait for me here, alright? I'll be right back," Jungwoo gave his hand a little squeeze and hopped off the stool, disappearing to where all of them were.

As soon as he was out of sight, Yuta buried his head in his arms, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to calm down his rapidly pounding heart. _This was really happening._ In a matter of minutes, Yuta was going to lose his soulmate, and Taeil was going to get a brand new one. Yuta's heart would be permanently disconnected from the network of tangled red strings, just a lone and insignificant piece of thread with no place to call home.

Jungwoo returned faster than Yuta thought, with the scissors secretly nestled in one palm and a stray red string pinched between his fingers in the other. Yuta watched warily, flinching involuntarily when Jungwoo nudged his hand with the scissors.

"Your deed is all that's left, Yuta," Jungwoo said gently, observing the way Yuta's eyebrows furrowed and a conflicted frown spread out on his face.

"Yuta... I told you. The longer you keep delaying this, the more you're going to hurt yourself," Jungwoo continued. "Just close your eyes, void your mind of any thoughts and simply do it. It'll be over before you know it."

Yuta exhaled loudly, gritted his teeth together and forced himself not to think of Sicheng. He opened his eyes and glanced at his string which was rustling about in Sicheng's direction, and this time, Yuta knew it really was bidding him goodbye for real.

With trembling hands, Yuta pinched the thread right before it faded away, positioned it between the blades and with one swift motion, the single red string snapped into two.

Yuta bit the interior of his cheek so hard that the faint taste of blood spread across his mouth. His lips were trembling and his eyes were watering, but he refused to let himself break down again. Holding his breath, he took Taeil's string from Jungwoo and tied it to Sicheng's, making sure that he ended it off with a little bow. Unfortunately, the bow soon vanished, and all that was left was one, single, seemingly-perfect string.

When the deed was finally done, Yuta exhaled shakily and glanced at Jungwoo for comfort. The latter's warm smile instantly mended Yuta's broken heart, and even without words, Yuta knew that Jungwoo was even more proud of him.

"I... I did it," Yuta's voice was trembling, for his vocal chords were still experiencing an earthquake. "Sicheng... he's gone. He's never going to... look at me again."

"You did the right thing, Yuta," Jungwoo's hand came up to swipe at his cheek, and then only did Yuta realise that a stray tear had escaped his eye. "Remember what you said to me that day? Sicheng's found his true happiness, now it's time to look for yours again."

Yuta winced, the stab in his heart making his vision cloud up with more tears, blurring the sight of a worried Jungwoo in front of him. He blinked the tears away, letting them cascade freely down his cheeks, took a final glance at the string and released his grip on it.

The silence that followed was ear-splitting. Yuta continued staring into space with his hands trembling. The short, unkempt, unfamiliar red string dangled off his pinky limply, as if it had finally lost all its strength and slumped down in defeat.

"What's... going to happen to us now?" Yuta asked insecurely after a whole five minutes of silence had elapsed between them. "Are we going to spend the rest of our lives alone? Are we not going to experience love anymore? Are we really just lost, wandering souls in the world of soulmates?"

"What happened to my Yuta who had a pessimistic view on soulmates? I'd like him back," Jungwoo took his hands and enclosed them in his warm ones.

"You told this to me, remember? That you won't let yourself get controlled by what the universe wants you to do. That whoever you're connected to doesn't define who you would end up loving in the end. Your options are endless, Yuta. People with soulmates, people without," Jungwoo raised his pinky, exposing his own short string to prove his point. "It's possible for you to fall in love with all of them."

Yuta slowly glanced back up at Jungwoo, tears still spilling endlessly from his eyes. Jungwoo wasted no time in wiping them off his cheeks and warmly embracing him once again, hearing Yuta sigh contentedly as his head rested on his shoulder.

"I'll be okay without Sicheng, right?" He mumbled against Jungwoo's shoulder, sending vibrations up his spine.

"Of course you will," Jungwoo reassured, holding Yuta a little tighter towards him. "I'll be here."

And even though Yuta just sacrificed the person he loved to someone else a few minutes ago, getting his heart shattered into a million shards, at Jungwoo's words, a small but genuine smile found its way onto his face, filling him with hopes for a brighter path ahead of him.  
  


 

* * *

 

 

This time, Yuta's hopes were fulfilled.

Unlike a few months ago with Doyoung and Taeyong, Sicheng and Taeil took a few days longer to publicly announce that they were dating. Yuta swallowed his jealousy when he found out about the news and congratulated them wholeheartedly, to which the both of them took it with genuine thanks.

Doyoung and Taeyong resumed their daily playful behaviour with him as well, miraculously. During those few tense days, breakfasts together in the morning was usually shrouded by uncomfortable silence, but after that day, things returned to normal- Yuta bickering with Doyoung and Taeyong contributing to their teasing with his loud and squeaky laughter.

Taeil had also approached him one day, out of the blue, asking him out for a meal together. He cleared things up with Yuta, forgave him for punching him that night, thanking him for trusting Sicheng with him and promising him that he would take good care of Sicheng. They got along better than Yuta thought, considering that their only interaction before that ended up in mutual resentment and bloody bruises. And after their meeting, Yuta found himself thinking that Taeil seemed like a better fit for Sicheng after all, putting his mildly aching heart at ease.

Jungwoo was still an amazing friend; after that day, he checked up with Yuta through daily texts to make sure that he was still holding up well. When Yuta was upset, he would come over to his place with alcohol and takeout, talking things out on the couch, and those nights never failed to make Yuta feel better.

On the other hand, when Yuta wasn't upset, the two of them would resume their midnight adventures around Seoul. Whenever they were together, Yuta would forget about all the pain he had experienced, for Jungwoo's adorable giggles and contagious smile never failed to lift Yuta's spirits and send him into a pleasant mood.

However, the only gap in this almost-perfect dream come true was that Sicheng still wouldn't talk to him.

Sicheng would still go awfully quiet whenever Yuta was around- something that Yuta was used to ever since they had broken up. He avoided all means of unnecessary contact with him in the office and glued himself to Taeil whenever the six of them hung out. Yuta couldn't blame him for his actions- he knew that Sicheng was still wary of him and his _'lies'_ , and especially since he had just gotten together with Taeil, he was afraid that Yuta would do something to harm their relationship.

It was just another day that the six of them were having dinner together, at a newly-opened seafood restaurant that wasn't far away from their office. Yuta was seated across Sicheng and beside Jungwoo, who was currently laughing uncontrollably at a bad joke that Taeil had cracked. Sicheng, however, didn't even crack a smile, his gaze focused on Yuta instead.

Yuta squirmed under Sicheng's incessant gaze, forcing a laugh to fit in with the rest although he didn't even hear what the joke was. Tens of minutes passed, the food came and gone, Taeyong was already ordering drinks, but Sicheng's gaze still persisted.

Yuta wriggled himself free of Jungwoo's arm that was looped around him and mumbled to them that he was going out to have some fresh air. Jungwoo eyed him with distrust for a second but Yuta shook his head, signalling that nothing was wrong and he just wanted to be alone.

He made his way to the smoking area that was outside, pleased to find it empty. It was snowing lightly, and a sheet of white was already laid across the patch of grass in front of him. Yuta leaned against the fence that separated the smoking area from the restaurant's exterior, watching the little snowflakes fall on his gloved hands.

 _Did Sicheng want to tell him something? Was that the reason why he had been staring at him like that?_ Judging by his seriousness, Yuta thought, it was probably some harsh words that Sicheng had been holding in all this time, waiting for the perfect timing to spill it to him, which happened to be that day.

True enough, barely a minute later, Yuta heard the glass sliding door behind him open. A figure escaped into the cold and the door slid closed again, and all of a sudden, Sicheng was next to him, mirroring his position against the fence.

Yuta glanced at him expectantly, but Sicheng continued to stare ahead, collecting the snowflakes with his gloves and blowing them away every now and then. After awhile, Yuta gave up signalling for him to start talking and resumed his attention back on the falling snow.

 _What if Sicheng didn't want to talk to him after all?_ Maybe he wanted some fresh air too, which was why he came out as well. Perhaps he was having a bad day, which was why he didn't laugh at Taeil's jokes or flirt openly with him like he usually did. Or-

"How does our string look like?"

_...Huh?_

"Wh-what?" Yuta spluttered, turning his body to face him. Sicheng hadn't moved except for the fact that he had tucked his hands in the creases of his elbows, leaning forward a little further.

"I asked, how does our string look like. Since, well, you said that you can see the red strings."

Yuta's lips involuntarily curved up into an excited smile and his lips parted open to reply him, until he remembered-

_Oh._

Sicheng _wasn't_ connected to him. _'Our'_ string didn't exist anymore- it was Taeil and Sicheng's string, and Yuta's.

The thought slapped his smile off his face in a split second, the words that he was going to say caught in the middle of his throat, quickly dissipating into nothing. Instinctively, his gaze flitted to his pinky, where his short and sad string fluttered around in the cold wind, abandoned and forgotten.

What was he going to tell Sicheng then? _'Oh, I cut you off from me a couple of weeks ago and tied you to Taeil, so we're not soulmates anymore'?_ That would be the truth, but some unnerving feeling in Yuta stopped him from saying it. Should he go along with it and pretend that they were still connected? Or blurt out another lie, telling him that he lied about his ability that day, that it was a failed motive to make Sicheng get back with him?

"Yuta? Did you hear what I said?" Sicheng prompted. His tone didn't sound impatient or annoyed- it was more of curiosity and amusement.

Yuta bobbed his head up and down frantically, still too caught in his predicament to form a reply to him. Sicheng hummed in response, turning back to the scenery in front of them. "It's okay. Take your time."

Yuta processed the options he had in his mind in the speed of light, afraid that he'd give the wrong impression to Sicheng if he kept him waiting for long. Yes, he promised that he wouldn't lie to Sicheng anymore, but if lying meant that Sicheng's feelings wouldn't get hurt, or that he wouldn't suspect Yuta of trying to trick him anymore, then it should be okay, shouldn't it?

"Our... our string..." Yuta began shakily, making Sicheng focus his attention on him. "It's tied to my pinky in a little bow. Like this," he traced the outline of his bow, before stopping where the string ended.

"Then... it continues in a straight line," he continued tracing the air, imagining how their string would be like if it was still there. "Since you're right next to me, the whole string is visible. If you weren't, the string would fade, making only the two ends visible."

"And it ends off as another little bow around your pinky," Yuta pinched Sicheng's bow with his fingers and wiggled it around, forcing himself not to get distracted by the faded end of Sicheng's string which was currently zooming around _(Taeil must've gotten drunk again and started flailing his hands about, and Yuta hoped that no one's faces had gotten smacked just yet.)_

"Wow. That's... cool," Sicheng laughed breathily, a puff of translucent smoke escaping his lips. "Is everyone's string like this? I mean, everybody has little bows on their pinkys? Everyone has soulmates?"

Yuta prayed that his subtle wince wasn't visible after Sicheng had said those words. He nervously glanced up at him, and his breath was caught in his throat at the sight of Sicheng's fascinated eyes sparkling at him. His cheekbones were protruding and his lips were pursed into a thin line, and it was then only did Yuta remember how much he had missed Sicheng  smiling at him.

_So how could he tell him the brutal truth, in fear that he would wipe that long lost, beautiful grin off his face?_

"Yeah. You're right. Everyone has a soulmate," Yuta clenched his jaw, fighting back the tears that clouded his vision. He forced a grim smile, lowering his head, coming face to face with the piece of contradicting evidence which was his string. "Though not everyone has bows. Some people... are different. They have their strings tied to their pinkys differently."

" _Oh?_ How does their's look like then?" Though Yuta's gaze was still on his pinky, he could hear the smile in Sicheng's voice, and that undoubtedly made his heart simultaneously soften and hurt even more.

"Some people have loose single knots, like Taeil. It might look like it'll untie itself anytime, but it won't," Yuta chuckled dryly. "Some people have double knots, like Jungwoo and Do- Yeah. Jungwoo and D-Doyoung. Though they're connected separately."

Sicheng _'ah'_ -ed adorably in response, not seeming to consider the fact that what Yuta had told him had been a white lie. He paused for a moment or two, before continuing silently.

"Is it nice? Having this ability, that is."

Yuta froze. _Was it nice?_ Knowing that your first love wasn't connected to you? Attempting to cut his string off and tie it to yours, only to find out he'd been cheating on you this whole time? Finding out that you were falling in love with your true soulmate two years later? Realising that your drinking buddy was connected to one of your closest friends, preventing him from accepting his relationship? Getting dumped by your soulmate, for him to date someone else? Cutting your string off to tie said soulmate to his new boyfriend so that he'd finally be happy?

If anyone had asked him this question months ago, Yuta would've answered _'no'_ without any hesitation. But all that happened in the past few months seemed to have made him think a little further. Being able to see the strings meant meeting Jungwoo, someone who meant so much to him that he wasn't sure where he would be without him. Being able to see the strings meant Doyoung and Taeyong finally getting together after two years of waiting. Being able to see the strings meant Sicheng finding his true happiness with Taeil.

He thought back to the second time he met Jungwoo, the night when he found out that both of them shared the same special ability. He had mocked Jungwoo for thinking that being an observer was incredibly lucky, but given the reply the current Yuta had formulated in his mind, he might want to mock himself too.

"Yeah. It's really nice. I think I'm really lucky to be an observer. I... I'm really happy to be given this ability."

Sicheng nodded slowly, grinning satisfyingly at the view in front of them, before his head whipped towards Yuta's direction and his eyes widened into two big marbles.

"Is... Are you okay? Yuta, why are you crying?"

"Huh? I'm not crying," Yuta chuckled, but when his hands rose to wipe his cheeks and eyes, he found them to be damp. Sicheng frowned and took in a breath, like he had something to say, but only silence greeted him.

Yuta embarrassingly cleaned off the rest of his tears, while Sicheng was still stuck on his words. He was about to apologise for his sudden breakdown but Sicheng beat him to it.

"I'm sorry that I didn't believe you that day. I... was having a hard time too, to be honest, and your revelation didn't help at all. But now that I think about it, what I did was really a dick move. Especially since you've proved to me that you actually can see the strings. So... I'm sorry, Yuta. For all that I've done to you, for not believing you, for breaking up with you... the list goes on. You don't have to forgive me, but... I hope that we can be cool at least?"

Yuta's jaw dropped, doubting his ears' ability to hear. _Was Sicheng actually apologising right now? To him? Requesting for his forgiveness? Was he in his right mind??_

"What do you mean? Of course I'll forgive you, because-" Yuta cut his own sentence off, his reasoning stuck in the back of his throat like super glue, refusing to vocalise itself.

_Because I still love you._

"Because?" Sicheng urged.

"Because... I-I still want us to be friends. I miss you."

"I miss you too," Sicheng smiled, and Yuta could see the glint of what he presumed to be tears in Sicheng's eyes. "Does this mean I can continue coming over to your place to watch Your Name with you again?"

Yuta grinned at the memory. Sicheng and him nestled comfortably beside each other on the couch, surrounded by bowls of junk food, rewatching their favourite anime for the nth time, reciting the lines to each other by memory and laughing at their failed impersonations of the characters.

"Of course you can. We can listen to your favourite theme song again, too," Yuta added, making Sicheng erupt in a fit of giggles, whacking him lightly on the arm.

"Thank you, Yuta. I'm... I'm really happy now. I don't know why, but I feel the need to thank you for this."

The way Sicheng sincerely gazed into his eyes as he conveyed his thanks would've made Yuta burst into tears at the moment, but Sicheng seemed to understand what he wanted and closed in for a tight hug, squeezing the life out of him, Sicheng's soft giggles echoing in his ears.

Yuta would've stayed in that position forever, warmly snuggled in Sicheng's embrace, but the shouts of a familiar voice from afar made them immediately break apart.

_"Hey! It's snowing!"_

"You sound as if you've never seen snow in your entire life," Doyoung's voice followed, before a clearly wasted, hyperactive Taeyong came running into their view, tripping over his own feet and landing face first into the bed of snow.

"It's the first time it has snowed when all of us are together! You know what that means?" Taeyong called from the ground, scooping a handful of snow in his hands and forming it into a ball, before hurling it at Taeil's neck. "A snowball fight!"

"Sicheng! Yuta! Come join us!" Jungwoo's voice beckoned the two of them. They wasted no time in scampering back into the restaurant and out through the exit, heading straight to where the rest of them were.

By the time they got there, all of them had already formed a simultaneous alliance against Taeil, raining snowballs on the poor and defenceless man. Yuta joined Jungwoo in shoving him towards the ground, then proceeding to bury him under a lump of snow.

"What did I ever do to all of you?" Taeil groaned with only his four limbs and face visible- his entire torso had been covered in snow, courtesy of their unanimous teamwork. Even Sicheng had doubled over from laughing at the pathetic state of his boyfriend for a whole minute, before reluctantly helping him up.

While that was happening, Jungwoo decided to give himself a one-way ticket to hell by aiming a snowball straight at Doyoung's face, hitting him square on the nose. Taeyong and Yuta joined in, hitting his chest and stomach respectively.

"You take that _back!_ " Doyoung hollered, gathering as much snow as he could with both his arms and dumping it down Jungwoo's shirt. The man squirmed and squealed at the cold feeling, slipping and sliding on his frictionless shoes when he attempted to run away from Doyoung's evil hands.

After Doyoung managed to tackle a shrieking Jungwoo to the ground and stuff his jacket with snow, the target had changed to Sicheng, who had grabbed Taeyong and used him as a human shield to block him from all the incoming snowballs. It seemed to work, as Taeyong's body was stained with white icicles after the attack, whereas Sicheng remained unscathed.

"Let's play a game!" Yuta suggested, pulling out a reluctant Taeil who had retreated behind a tree in fear. "We'll split into two teams and the team who manages to make the most number of snowballs win! And of course, stealing is allowed. Sicheng, Taeil and Taeyong will be in one team and Jungwoo, Doyoung and I will be in the other."

"Why am _I_ on the same team as _him?_ He's useless at everything!" Jungwoo, who obviously hadn't learnt his lesson, pointed an accusing finger at Doyoung. A faceful of snow successfully shut him up, and the game quickly commenced.

Taeil and Yuta started making snowballs and stacking them in a pile in their respective team's fortresses, being the passive attackers they were. Doyoung and Jungwoo, also collectively known as dumb and dumber, rushed forward without any prior plans or strategies, and thus received a shower of snowballs prepared by Sicheng and Taeyong. As they tumbled to the floor ungracefully, Sicheng and Taeyong grasped this opportunity to infiltrate their fortress and flatten Yuta's stack of snowballs.

"You _idiots!_ Get off your asses and take Taeil down or something!" Yuta yelled at the top of his voice, single-handedly fending off a high Taeyong and a cackling Sicheng. Jungwoo was about to get up on his two feet but was met with an avalanche of snow instead, causing him to slip back on the ground again.

"We're literally on the same team?? Why are you attacking _me??_ " Jungwoo whined, dusting the snow off him as he finally managed to stand up. Doyoung snickered loudly as he headbutted Taeil, causing the both of them to tumble on Taeil's precariously-balanced pile of snowballs, returning him to square one.

"Now look who's the useless one at games!" Doyoung fought back, ducking a snowball that Jungwoo aimed at his forehead. It hit Taeil square on the stomach, eliciting a painful _'oof'_ out of him before he collapsed to the floor once again.

During this time, Sicheng and Taeyong had already made an armful of snowballs, waiting for Jungwoo and Doyoung to leave their fortress before depositing the whole pile beside a defeated Taeil.

Doyoung and Jungwoo returned to their fortress to find a panting Yuta sprawled like a starfish on the ground. Not a single snowball was in sight, so they presumed that Sicheng and Taeyong had demolished everything, including Yuta himself. And if that wasn't enough, Sicheng transformed into a snowball-generating machine and churned out snowballs by the second, pelting them on the three of them as they attempted to replenish their pile.

"Literally what do you get out of winning this game??" Doyoung grumbled, cursing under his breath after getting hit square on the forehead three times in a row. "It's not like we bet anyone's life or bank account on this-"

A strategically-aimed snowball reached its desired location and Doyoung spluttered at the mouthful of snow he had just swallowed. "Serves you right, Mr. Bigmouth!" Sicheng called out, another snowball already positioned in his hand, a sly grin etched on his face.

"Okay! We give up," Jungwoo announced, not bothering to get up after slipping back to the ground everytime he attempted to stand up. Taeil, Sicheng and Taeyong immediately cheered; Sicheng gave Taeyong double high-fives, before hugging Taeil so close to him that they looked like one big ball of fluff instead.

"What the fuck? I was prepared to fight till my death!" Doyoung interjected, glaring at a giggling Jungwoo, who seemed to think that making Doyoung lose his temper was the funniest thing on earth. To top it off, he stuck out a foot and made Doyoung tumble onto the snow with him, mirroring his position on the ground.

"Kim Jungwoo I swear to god-" Doyoung got up with an armful of snow, ready to dump it over Jungwoo's head, but Taeyong appeared in time to hold his raging boyfriend back. All it took was a peck on his lips and a whisper in his ear and Doyoung was back to all smiles again, grinning lovesickly at Taeyong.

Yuta watched as Jungwoo stared their intimate moment with a tinge of jealously in his eyes, and offered a hand to him to pull himself up from the ground. Jungwoo accepted his hand gratefully with a million-dollar grin on his face, wrapping an arm around Yuta's waist to stable himself from slipping again.

The snow was falling slightly heavier by now, and the temperature decreasing steadily with it. Sicheng and Taeil were still in each other's embrace, no will to separate from each other. Doyoung and Taeyong's faces were also inches away from each other, exchanging light pecks on their lips every few seconds.

"Taeyong is a really lucky guy, don't you think," Jungwoo sighed softly, making sure that the both of them couldn't hear him. With the way they were eye-fucking each other, they probably wouldn't care anyway.

" _What?_ Haven't you gotten over Doyoung?" Yuta questioned, his eyebrows raised in surprise. Jungwoo snorted, rolling his eyes.

"I never said that. You assumed it just because I don't talk about him anymore," Jungwoo replied sadly. "My infatuation for him might've died down significantly, but never once did it go away."

Yuta continued staring at him in disbelief, blinking in shock as he thought about what Jungwoo had said. _How big of a crush did Jungwoo have on Doyoung that not even months after cutting his string could make him stop loving him?_

"Though I have to admit, you made getting over him a lot easier," Jungwoo said suggestively with a smug grin on his face. "When one door closes, another opens."

Yuta tilted his head to the side in confusion, unable to find the meaning behind Jungwoo's words. He took this opportunity to catch Yuta off guard, pucker his lips and lean in for an impromptu kiss that Yuta managed to turn away from in time with a startled shriek.

"I ain't kissing you, fuck off," Yuta pushed Jungwoo away from him, before regretting his action in a split second as Jungwoo skidded on the slippery ice, desperately clutching onto Yuta's arm to prevent himself from landing painfully on his ass again.

Yuta managed to grab him in time, pulling a shaken Jungwoo closer towards him, holding onto his waist tightly. The proximity of their faces was so close that Yuta was sure if he leaned slightly forward, their lips would meet. He stood there like a statue, too afraid to move an inch, and Jungwoo just had to ruin the moment by grinning cheekily and slapping Yuta's face away from him.

"P-please get new shoes that actually have friction on them," Yuta stuttered, diverting the topic, pointedly gesturing at Jungwoo's old and worn sneakers. "I don't want you slipping and sliding around like this is an ice skating rink."

Jungwoo's suggestive grin made a reappearance on his face again, and Yuta flinched away in case he was plotting a plan to kiss him again.

"But I have you to catch me whenever I'm about to fall, don't I?"

For the second time, Yuta was caught off guard, but this time, he could feel his cheeks heating up despite the icy wind blowing across them. Jungwoo seemed to noticed this and laughed loudly, leaning his head on Yuta's shoulder, wrapping both arms around his waist, hugging him contentedly.

Yuta glanced at Jungwoo's blissful expression- his eyes had fluttered shut, his lips had stretched into a serene smile and there were snowflakes that had fallen on his eyelashes- and he felt his heart skip a beat. Sure, he had seen Jungwoo countless of times ever since they met but never once did Yuta feel something stir up in his heart. Perhaps it was the way the snowflakes were falling on his hair, dotting the faded silver with specks of white. Perhaps it was the way Jungwoo was wrapped around him, surrounding him in a blanket of warmth. Perhaps it was the way a contented hum would escape his lips every now and then, sending waves of happiness to him that tickled his heartstrings.

_Perhaps it was something else._

"Jungwoo?" Yuta whispered softly, hearing the man beside him make a small sound of acknowledgement. Yuta could hear the rapid pounding of his heart in his ears, and calmed it down before continuing.

"I think I might've found my happiness again."

Jungwoo slowly opened his eyes, lifting his head from Yuta's shoulder and looked at him in the eye. A glint of what Yuta assumed was recognition was present within his pupils, filling him with comfort and ease.

"You have?" He replied innocently, his smile growing wider by the second.

"Yeah," Yuta chuckled at Jungwoo's adorable reaction. "But I think it'll take me some time to finally accept it and come to terms with it. I'm... I'm not ready yet."

"You can take all the time you want. We have forever," Jungwoo hinted at, and Yuta confirmed that he knew what he was talking about. "I... I think I'll need some time too."

"You'll wait for me?"

Jungwoo found Yuta's hands and held them tightly, before reaching for his left pinky, hooking his pinky with it and making their thumbs meet.

"Of course I'll wait for you," Jungwoo looked back at him, their pinkys still connected in a promise. "After all you've done for me, it's the least I can do for you."

Yuta looked down at their intertwined pinkys, at their individual red strings wrapped around each other like they were in a hug. The short, cut off ends of their strings met, and like two electrical wires touching each other, Yuta swore he felt sparks flow from his pinky to his heart, and with the way Jungwoo's blinding grin still wasn't faltering, Yuta was sure that he had felt it too.

His heart might've been ripped into shreds multiple times in the past, but Jungwoo was always there to mend it for him, accurately reading his concerns and showering him with platonic love unconditionally. If there was anyone in the world he owed his life to, it would be the man standing in front of him, his newfound, true happiness.

Even though they'd gone through many sufferings and heartbreaks along the way, they could always start anew- as two lost, wandering souls who had found each other in the world of tangled hearts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first things first, this chapter is called 尾(wěi) because it sounds like 未(wèi), which means future, so like,, it's the end but there's a promising future ahead for them
> 
> secondly, if yall haven't realised, jungwoo slipping around on his frictionless shoes was a reference to that n minute boss in ukraine video ;)
> 
> thirdly, i wrote this fic with the mindset that all the events that happened should be as realistic as possible, as little sugarcoating as i can afford,, so the reason why i ended it off happily was to convey that even though life might be depressing now and nothing is going right for you, everything will turn out fine in the end!! sometimes multiple sacrifices needed to be made for everything to fall in place :)) this applies for the relationship part of this fic too- both individuals need to work together to make a relationship work! if you give too much you'll end up like sicheng, who was too nice to yuta at first but got hurt in the end. if you give too little you'll end up like yuta, who only thought of himself and also got hurt in the end. relationships rely on communication and mutual trust, any problems should be talked out immediately!! wow i sound like i'm an expert in this field when i haven't even been in one before LMAO
> 
> and lastly... i can't believe this is finally the end of this fic. i didn't expect to actually finish writing this since i usually give up halfway for chaptered fics but i managed to write finish this!! it's been about three and a half months since i came up with an nct soulmate au idea and started writing this and i'm kinda sad to let it go like that,, so i was just thinking,, THINKING of a possible sequel but no promises!! if it doesn't happen don't come @ me hehe
> 
> also if yall are asking why jungwoo and yuta didn't tie their strings together in the end, it's because once they cut off their strings the first time and let it go without tying it to someone else's immediately, their strings won't be able to stretch again. i stated this in chapter 6 when jungwoo was telling yuta how to cut taeyong off from his soulmate^^ 
> 
> thank you for those who put up with me and read all the way to the end!! i appreciate every single one of your reads and kudos and reading your comments make me feel especially happy!! if yall have any questions regarding this feel free to comment them!!
> 
> my twitters: [kpop](http://www.twitter.com/chickyjun) , [cpop](http://www.twitter.com/biwenjunhui)


End file.
